Steps 10 and 12 – Part 4 – Mark H. – FOTSNY – 2001

About This Speaker Tape

Mark leads a deep dive into Step Three, framing the decision to turn one's will over to a Higher Power as a necessary exit from the 'throne' of self-will. He uses the metaphor of a stage director, arguing that alcoholics act as delusional producers who write scripts for everyone in their lives, only to become angry when the other actors fail to follow a script they were never given. Mark describes the 'toolkit' of self-will, which ranges from being mean and dishonest to the more insidious 'virtuous' tools of kindness and modesty used to manipulate outcomes.

He emphasizes that selfishness is the root of the problem, not alcohol, and that the only way out is through the spiritual exercises of Steps F. through Nine. The session concludes with a visceral demonstration of 'Theater of the Lie,' using volunteers to act out the conflicting identities (the 'cast of characters') an alcoholic clings to, showing how external losses feel like a fight for survival.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction to Step Three and reading from the Big Book page 60.
• 4:15 Metaphor: The 'Throne' and the 'Director' of the life-play.
• 7:30 Discussion on the 'toolkit' of self-will: virtue vs. vice.
• 11:45 The path from anger to indignation to self-pity.
• 15:20 The 'Limo Driver' metaphor: being driven by Fear, Self-Seeking, and Self-Pity.
• 22:10 Step 3 Prayer: Group recitation on their knees.
• 26:40 Story: Flying to Washington D.C. to help a newcomer in an airport chapel closet.
• 33:15 Discussion on the 'Fifth Step Box' and boundaries regarding gender in sponsorship.
• 41:10 Introduction to 'Theater of the Lie' and the 'Mind-Made Sense of Self'.
• 48:30 Live Exercise: Volunteers acting out the 'Cast of Characters' (The Wife, Zena, Miss AA).