Losing What You Have or Not Getting What You Deserve — the Two Fears Step 7 Names – Bob A.

About This Speaker Tape

Bob leads a men's stag meeting in Sherman Oaks and drives home one message: alcoholism is a living disease of the mind that keeps running after the bottle is gone. He explains that for his first years sober he carried the same angry, judging, fault-finding self into the world and kept wondering why the meetings weren't sticking. Knowledge of the program, he says, never once treated the disease. A meeting will not change you — you leave with the same person you brought in.

The steps, for Bob, are not a future project. They are a right-now character change that puts his will in alignment with a Higher Power so the old self stops running the show. He distinguishes between the opinionated mind "up here" and the real character that lives in the heart, and insists that Step 2 and Step 3 happen now — in this minute, at this meeting, at 8:20 tonight — not someday. He describes the old self as a man who argued with waiters, resented strangers for their beards, kept two motorcycles in his front room to prove he had made it, and still couldn't have a relationship with anybody.

He answers a question on Step 7 fear by naming the two known fears — losing what you have or not getting what you think you deserve — and teaches that anger and fear are ominous signs that self has stepped back in and the disease needs treatment now. He closes with "first things first" as a daily discipline: look at what is actually causing trouble in your life today and put that in motion before anything else, or the unmanageable life builds back up.

Frank shares on needing Bob and the tapes to keep him honest. Nadir describes five years of listening transforming him into a man his coworkers are proud to work for. Dennis talks about guiding his daughter through a rough weekend using the new-character solution. Carl admits he still cannot turn his finances and taxes over. Eric tells a funny tax-day story of condemning stationery-store clerks and slow drivers until he remembered to ask for help. Ron notices he said "they're going through a rough patch" instead of offering a doctoral dissertation on someone's personality — real compassion, unnoticed until it happened. The meeting ends with an announcement that Bob is leaving for medical treatment in Germany for two weeks.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Frank shares on needing Bob and the tapes to stay close; knowledge alone won't keep him sober
• 3:30 Bob opens: alcoholism is a living disease without alcohol, and the meeting will not change you
• 10:00 The real man lives in the heart, not in the opinionated mind up top — the character that has to go through the steps
• 16:00 Two motorcycles in the front room — possessions never treated the alcoholism
• 22:00 Step 2 and Step 3 are a right-now character change, not a future project — "this is a now thought"
• 30:00 Bondage of self and the Seventh Step prayer — asking the Higher Power to guide, protect, and care
• 38:00 Ali asks about fear; Bob names the two known fears and calls anger and fear ominous signs that self is back
• 45:00 Nadir shares on five years of listening transforming him and his work relationships
• 54:00 Eric's tax-day story — condemning stationery clerks and slow drivers until he remembers to ask for help
• 62:00 Casey asks about First Things First; Bob teaches it as a daily discipline for a manageable life