You Can’t Get Stuck on Step 3 Because a Decision Isn’t a Place You Can Stand Still On – Cliff

Okay. I guess we're going to start out the beginning today, is that right, Toni? Yes, it is. Okay. Perfect for these newcomers. Very awesome. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. But everybody's got a big book, I hope. Give us out what you need to really understand what the problem is and what we do about it. Well, we go forward to the first edition. And Roman Neimel 13 in every edition is a big book. Well, that isn't so. The first edition, that's not true at all. There were no Roman Neimels in the first edition. But Bill introduced the book by writing back in April 1939. That we of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than 100 men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing and no further authentication will be necessary. We think this account of our experiences will help everyone to better understand the alcohol. Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person and besides we are cured. That our way of living has its advantages for all. If we go back to the... through this paragraph. And we get a good bit of information that's fundamental. First of all, the first sentence tells us where this book came from. It came from a handful of alcoholics who had found a very simple program that they lived by. It made it possible for them to say they had recovered. I know we have people running through our fellowship saying there's no such thing as a recovered alcoholic. Which only indicates that that is a person who's never studied a big book. So they don't know anything. They don't know anything about the program. So ignore them. But they had recovered. And they decided they better write the book. Dr. Bob was very instrumental in this book being published. Because he didn't want the message to be garbled. He knew if we left it up word of mouth, that's what we would have. And they would never get out of Akron. They'd never gotten out of New York. They'd never gotten out of Cleveland. Alcoholics Anonymous would never have been a reality. But they had recovered. But they did write the book for one purpose. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered. It is the main purpose of this book. So in 1939 this handful of alcoholics put in print what they had learned to do that made it possible for them to say they had recovered. For the first time in the history of mankind there was a program of recovery for alcoholics. Yet the vast majority of people in our fellowship had done it. The vast majority of people in our fellowship today have no understanding of this. They've got some ideas that if they go to enough meetings they're going to be okay. Doesn't work that way. For them we hope these papers will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary. We don't need anything else. Everything we need to know about alcoholism, the solution, and the program of action to get from the problem to the solution is contained in this book. There's some good stuff in there. There's a lot of stuff in the 12 and 12. But that's the second book and shouldn't be gotten into until people are successful in sponsoring it. I know a lot of people want to argue but I'm not into arguing with people. But he said we take this account of our expenses will help everyone to better understand the alcohol. That sentence and the next one are telling the people that love us that we're sick people. And they're going to read this book and understand what our problem is. And then if they like they can follow our program and make their life pretty wonderful too. But the last one said besides we're sure our way of living has its advantages for all. And again I can't imagine Bill even dreaming that over a 50 year period this book would have given birth to over 200 anonymous fellowships that have actually nothing to do with drinking. Al-Anon does. Alateen does. But all the others have nothing to do with alcohol or alcoholism. So flip the page. Second line down. Said the only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking. That's what Bill said we had to have. But then he got to thinking and recognized that by the time we get ready to come to Alcoholics Anonymous we don't know what honest is. We are completely out of the honesty. We live with it. We live on nothing but lies. So the third tradition simply says the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. But if we're going to be successful it better be an honest desire. A desperate desire. A yearning as long as it oversees anything else. We take a look real quick at support of the second edition. I'm not going to spend much time on it. But simply it's a little bit of a historical account of how AA came to be. It tells how Bill found Dr. Bob. How they really got this thing going. And how an article was written in the Saturday Evening Post in March of 1941 that attracted national attention. And made Alcoholics Anonymous a reality. But the thing we've got to come to terms with when we first show up here is why did I have to come to Alcoholics Anonymous? Why couldn't I find some way to drink sensibly? Or why couldn't I find a way to not have to drink altogether? And those are the questions that we come with. We've got to find the answer. And we find the answer by going to the doctor's opinion. The doctor's opinion was just that. And when Dr. Silkworth got a hold of Alcoholics he did a report. Or hard drinkers. Because we've got two kinds of drinkers. And we get into that a little bit later. Well we've got the hard drinker and we've got the alcoholic. And in the early stages of alcoholism they looked very much alike. Dr. Silkworth apparently had been able to have some success with the hard drinkers. But he had never been able to figure out what to do with alcoholics. Real alcoholics. And as he studied them he began to get an idea. There was something rather complex about this thing called alcoholism. Now Dr. Silkworth had been trained in neurology and psychiatry. And so he knew something about the body and he knew something about the mind. And it may be that because of his training he was able to come up with a pretty clear understanding of what was wrong with Bill Wilson. What he said was. And we'll go over into. I don't know if you're using third edition or fourth edition. But if you're using the third edition it's Roman numeral 26. Two X's of B and an I. And why in the hell did anybody ever came up with Roman numeral? You know what I'm supposed to do? When you came up with Roman numeral I will never know. We have enough trouble getting to read the book. Not finding a whole new. System of numbering. But the first thing we have to come to terms with. Why is it when I drink. I can't control the amount I drink. Why is it I drink every time I drink I get drunk. Now in Roman numeral 26 or 28. Dr. Silkworth tells us. He said we believed and so suggested a few years ago. If the act of alcohol needs chronic alcoholics. A manifestation of an allergy. If you've got an allergy it manifests itself. In some way or another. You have an allergy to strawberries. And each strawberry you're going to break out in a rash. Or allergic to penicillin. They give you penicillin. It may kill you. But there are two significant symptoms of that allergy. One is that our throat starts constricting. And the other one is our heart starts beating at a very high rate. People who are allergic to milk and drink milk. Spend an awful lot of time in the bathroom. Because they're not drinking. Because it produces diarrhea. So whatever the allergy is. There's one way we can tell we've got it. Well the problem with that allergy of alcoholism is. It's sort of a strange thing. And here it is. That the phenomenon of craving is limited. This class never occurs in the average temperate drinker. Never occurs in the average temperate drinker. Well what we know today is. That only about one out of ten of us has what it takes to be an alcoholic. The rest of us have a little bit too much to drink. And we throw up and we go home. And we don't want to be at any more parties for a while. The alcoholic pukes one up. And we get the bottle. And start drinking it down before we're through puking it. One out of ten of us has what it takes to be an alcoholic. But the phenomenon of craving. Well. Step one has two separate and distinct parts. The first part of it says we're powerless over alcohol. And here's where we are told why we're powerless over alcohol. We're powerless over alcohol because of an allergy that produces a craving. That exceeds our willpower. Once we start drinking. Everyone drinks a good one. But it demands we have the next one. And because it's an accumulation of a certain chemical in our body. It causes that craving. Every drink we have increases the craving. So that's why it is after four drinks. We have a craving much greater than when we had the first. So this is why we're powerless over alcohol. We're physically powerless over alcohol. Because if we start drinking. We're going to get drunk. But he also says there's just another part of step one. That before we get into that. He said these allergic types can never safely use alcohol. In any form at all. And once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it. Once having lost their self confidence. Their reliance upon things human. Their problems pile upon them and have become astonishingly difficult to solve. We know how true that is. There are so many things we can pick up in a grocery store. That have an abundance of alcohol in them. Listerine. Nyquil. Bix 44 Deans. Quite a number of medications in liquid form. Have an abundance of alcohol. We also can go over to the spice section of a grocery store. And we can pick up vanilla extract. Orange extract. I didn't know we had any. I just cleaned out the spice cabinet here some time back. And I found the vanilla. And it was just a little bit of a mess. I had a vanilla and it was 45%. So 90 proof. But behind it was a little bottle of orange extract. I had known it was there. It had been gone a long time ago. But it's 89% alcohol. And one of the things aside from the medications we get. Or the extract that we might get. We've got. People have an idea that cooking with alcohol. If you just cook with it. Why it all evaporates. Well that's far from the truth. In fact it's amazing how much residual alcohol. Is in food. Depending on the way it's cooked. And if you want to see what the truth is about cooking with alcohol. Just go to your search engine. And type in cooking with alcohol. And the first link probably will give you a surprise. Another thing we've got to be very mindful of is. That any time we see a person. Who can prescribe for us. Prescribe medication. Be sure to let them know. That we're alcoholic. Because there's an awful lot of medication out there. Tranquilizers. Moon altering drugs. Pain pills. There's a light to pilot light. For an alcoholic to send us right back to the bubble. Have you ever told me. I do a foundation meeting. A beginner's meeting. I just ask. How many in here are addicted to this? And it's amazing how many young people. Well not just young people. Some of the older folks too. Have gone to a doctor. Because they feel crappy. And the doctor wants them to feel good. So he prescribed. Xanax. And there are some others. But it takes about two years to detox off of Xanax. So just be sure. If you go to anybody that prescribed medication. You let them know you're an alcoholic. And they'll put a red sticker on the front of your file folder. Saying ETOH. It's a symbol for. Ethanol. Which is an alcohol. But he goes ahead and he says. Down the last paragraph. We're going to get to the second half of step one. He said men and women drink it. Simply because they like the effect produced by alcohol. That I think is a very true statement across the board. But I think if Dr. Silkworth had thought a little bit more. He would have written it. Alcoholic men and women. Love the effect produced by alcohol. We do. We love the effect so much. Well just look at your own experience. See how much you've given up. What you have the price you've paid. To get another drink. We love that effect more than anything on earth. He goes ahead and he says. The sensation is so elusive. And while we admit it's in curious. We cannot at after time differentiate the truth from the false. I have overlooked one thing. Look back up a bit. And you'll see. The effect is so much more. It's so much more. The effect is so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. It's so much more. Look back up a bit. What is the effect we get out of alcohol. Well if you ask an alcoholic why they drink. The problem. The probability is. That they're going to be honest and say. I don't know. And then you're going to say. Yes you do. And so we're going to start lying. And that's where it all begins. Those Aulagnacs. Won't accept the truth when they tell them. But if you'll turn your book back to page 83. We're going to find out what we've got out of drinking. What was it we loved about drinking? Now, if you go to the last paragraph, we are now completed with clear-cut directions for the first nine steps of recovery. And Bill wrote it, we are taking it up to this phase of our development. We'll be amazed before we're halfway through. That's a promise. We're going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. That's a promise. We'll not regret the past or we should shut the door on it. That's a promise. He goes ahead and he tells us the things that will happen to us as we take a step. But we're talking about the effect we get out of drinking. So let's try this. When I had a few drinks, I knew a new freedom and a new happiness. When I had a few drinks, I didn't regret the past or we should shut the door on it. Now, if you're any kind of an alcoholic, you've had a number of blackouts. And you very likely have come to a place where you hadn't planned to be. You haven't planned to be with people you haven't planned to be with having done things you wish the hell you hadn't done. And you're just full of shame, guilt, remorse. And I pray you'll never ever see those people again. So when we had a couple of drinks, what happened? When I had a few drinks, we're good. We will not regret the past or we should shut the door on it. Go into a bar that night and see a lonely soul down at the end of the bar and go buy them a drink and tell them the whole damn thing. When I had a few drinks, I knew a number of blackouts. When I had a few drinks, I comprehended the word serenity and I knew peace. Boy, did I hear. For the first 15 or 20 minutes, it was serenity and peace. When I had a few drinks, no matter how far down the scale I'd gone, I could see how my experience could benefit others. Man, I was full of it and I laid it on. When I had a few drinks, that feeling of uselessness and self-pity would disappear. How do you feel dry? Useless and full of self-pity. Have a couple of drinks. Ain't feeling useless. I've got a real purpose in life. Don't have a clue what it is except to get another drink. And I'm not feeling sorry for me anymore. I'm feeling sorry for the folks that ain't got what I got. When I had a few drinks, I lost interest in selfie things and gained interest in my fellows. No, I didn't. I'm not gay. I get that with interest in the gals in the bar. When I had a few drinks, self-seeking slipped away. When I had a few drinks, my whole attitude, I'm not looking for a life change. Yeah, without some drinks in me, it was Eddie Brown. They didn't give me two drinks and it was Rosie Pink. When I had a few drinks, a few people in economic insecurity was leaving. I think one of the clues for that one is, how many alcoholics do you know that before they came to AA would go to a social function without any booze in them? No way. But if we did get caught up in a social function drying, we were miserable. We only had two thoughts in our head. One was, let me out of this damn place or give me a drink. We don't put any booze around, a couple or three drinks. And all of a sudden, we get real social. We got something we got to explain to somebody. We're going to get over there and do some talking. And we happen to be at a party where they're dancing. You can't get an alcoholic on the dance floor without booze in them. No way. They give us three drinks and you can't get us off the dance floor. The band went home. But hell, we're not through. And how about financial insecurity? When I had a few drinks, financial insecurity would leave me. Sure did. That old Monday morning flu had caused me a few days of work and docked my salary a little bit, but it didn't reduce the bills any. So I'd look at the bills and look at my money and I was in trouble. The only one thought I had is, let me have a couple of drinks and figure this out. But see, that came from the next problem. When I had a few drinks, I intuitively knew how to handle situations used to baffle me. So if the money problem was tight, all I had to do was have a few drinks and then I got the answer. We'll suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. And we're not going to suddenly realize that booze is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. But as we're doing this, we hang around here and get a sponsor and take these tests. It becomes very clear to us that alcohol was our solution for living. And I've run into a number of people over the years who said, thank God for alcohol. Because if I hadn't found the effect of alcohol, I would have committed suicide. Now they're living a wonderful life. So there is the effect we get out of alcohol. A complete change in the way we think and the way we feel. And that's what we're going to do. So we now go back to the doctor's opinion, Roman numeral 26 or 28. And get into the sentence I cut off and we'll get back into again. It says very simply, three parts of this sentence. The sensation is so elusive that while we admit it's insurious, we cannot after a time differentiate the truth from the false. Yep. That's the truth. The sensation is so elusive. How many of you knew that when you drank, that was the effect you got? The promises of step nine is exactly what happens to an alcoholic when we drink. They said we admit it's insurious. And I misunderstood that one until Joey helped me understand that this is written by Yankees. And their use of insurious covered problems. And it finally became obvious. And I'm assuming that what Dr. Selfworth was talking about were these little minor inconveniences like public intoxication or driving while intoxicated or drunk and disorderly or driving our car into a bridge abutment or winding up in a hospital for drinking, going to treatment for drinking, losing money and jewelry and valuable property from drinking. Losing a job for drinking, lose friends for drinking, lose family for drinking, lose self respect because of drinking, lose our freedom. Completely enslaved by alcohol. Yep, those are the injuries. And what I do suggest for newcomers is that they take a little piece of paper and they write down those events that happened as a result of their drinking. They were so, you know, they were so drunk, they were so drunk. They were so hurt, hurting or what's the word I'm looking for? Caused such a problem that that's where you said, I'll never ever drink again. And really, really meant it. You put those stars, I star by those where you said, that's it, I'm through drinking. Put it on your bathroom mirror or wherever it is you look at yourself in the morning. Got a shave or they trim their beards. And you're like, oh, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I don't want to drink again. I don't want to drink again. I don't want to drink again. And gals put on their face and all of it, brush their teeth most of the time. But put it there and look at it. And the thing of it is that we have so many people who have far more than one sobriety day. They were given an opportunity to survive alcoholism, but for whatever reason, they didn't get it. So they had to go back and do it again as Dr. Bob did. The sad part of it is, I mean, it's always, it's always something I just try desperately to do to impress with newcomers. Is go ahead and do this thing. Get a good sponsor and do this thing. And don't take a risk on going back out. Because if you do go back out, there is a great chance you will never ever have another chance to survive alcoholism. This may be the only one you're going to ever have. So don't screw it up. Find a sponsor to notice what's in the big book. Do what they tell you to do. And never take a risk. You're not going to be winding up drunk or becoming, sitting in a diaper in an insane asylum that's a wet room. But the third part of it is, we cannot after a time differentiate the truth from the false. What's the truth? The truth is I can't drink without getting drunk. But I've got a mind that can't remember that emotion. My mind just goes back to Cliff. You really need to have that sense of ease and comfort. We're going to get into in a moment. You need that freedom. That happiness. You need to have a complete change in the way you think and the way you think. I don't go through that mental exercise. My mind says, have a drink or you're going to die. And so that leads to the next. To them, to us, our alcoholic life seems the only normal. People don't drink the way we do. There's something wrong with them, right? But here we go. We are broken. We are restless, irritable, and discontented, unless we can again experience that sense of ease and comfort that comes at once from taking a few drinks. There is the alcoholic mind demanding that we take a couple of drinks because we are restless, irritable, discontented. We've just got to have a drink or something horrible is going to happen. But he said after we have succumbed to that desire again, and so many of us have done and will do, the phenomenon of craving develops, we pass through the well-known stages of free immersion, remorseful, or the frame resolution, the nightly anthem of every alcoholic on God's earth, I will never do that again. And we mean it. I am never ever going to do it again, and I meant it. I signed a pledge in the Bible. I did everything I could. But I found I also was powerless over alcohol mentalists. And here is where the second half of step one is presented. This is repeated over and over. What? Getting drunk and swearing on. This is repeated over and over. Unless this person can experience an entire psychic change, there is very little hope for his recovery. What did we just talk about back on page 83 and 84? An entire psychic change. A complete change in the way we think and the way we feel. So there is step one. Well, some of us will just can't quite sleep. Now if you have been hearing about the alcoholic personality, I want to put your minds at ease on that one. If you go to page Roman numerals 28 or 30, you'll see that the very first paragraph says, There are many situations which arise, out of the phenomena of craving, which can cause man to make a supreme sacrifice, rather than continue to fight. Yeah, suicide is a wonderful way to quit drinking. But Dr. Silkworth said the classification of alcoholic states should be difficult. And in much detail outside the scope of this book, type one. There are, of course, psychopaths, who are mostly unstable. We're all familiar with those types. They're always going on the wagon for keeps. They are over-remortiful and make many resolutions, but never a decision. Type two. There's a type of man who is unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink. He has various ways of drinking. He can change his brand or his environment. Type three. Then there's a type entirely normal, excuse me, who always believes that after being in, thank God I've got my damn computer glasses on, not my reading glasses. That's where I've been getting hung up. So, our kids. Type three. There's a type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time, he can take a drink without danger. Type four. There's a manic-depressive type who is perhaps least understood by his friends, about whom a whole chapter could be written. And that's one I have to stop and comment on, because we've got so many medically educated people in the Alcoholics Anonymous. Somebody, a newcomer comes in and they start going through the emotions of drying out from alcohol. They get high and they get depressed, and they get happy and they get depressed. And somebody says, oh, you poor souls, you know, you're bipolar, you need to go see a doctor. No, you don't. You're coming off booze. You're letting your body, you're letting your body begin to function again. And every time you get a blackout, you anesthetize some of the brain cells. And as during the first year of sobriety, according to real, competent and knowledgeable psychiatrists, our brain cells begin to recover. They come out after a matter of the influence of the alcohol. And once they recover, they just go to work. And so this is where we get this emotional swing. We call them dry drugs sometimes. One of the doctors in the Edwards Administration Hospital down in Houston in the alcoholic ward did a study on alcoholics. They call it african. And what he found was that there are very definite periods in that first year where we have these emotional swings. And we call them dry drugs. But they're very dangerous for alcoholics because very often the alcoholic will start drinking at those points. Now his article's been published. It's called Building Up to a Drink. And if you'd like to have a copy of it, send me an email and I'll be more than happy to send a copy to you. But let's don't get played doctor and alcoholic sons. If a newcomer's swinging an emotion, they bought it. They bought the ticket for it. Let them have fun and enjoy it. But make sure they've got a good sponsor that knows that, what they're going through and what to do about it. Like go work with somebody else. He goes ahead and then he says in a separate paragraph, type 5, then there are types entirely normal and every safety effect alcohol has upon them. Most of us are in this class. They are often able, intelligent, friendly people. Anybody want to disqualify themselves? Most of us when we're not drinking, we may be a pretty unhappy. But we're not. We're still able to function. Still can get along. Living this world. But he said that's not all of them. All these and many others have one symptom in common. There are all kinds of personalities. You know, if you've been around a while and sponsored a lot of people, you'll see how true that is. The one symptom we have in common is we cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of cravings. Yeah, we all have different types. Different types. Personalities. And when we start drinking, you can see those come up and come alive. You take a room full of alcoholics and they all take a drink. And one thing you can be very sure of is that they're all going to start acting like they weren't acting before they took that drink. And some of them want to start a fight right off the bat. A couple of them, they did putting a make on each other. A few of them will get over in the corner and have an intellectual discussion about something they don't know a damn thing about. Some of them go over in the corner and sit down and put their head between their knees and say boo hoo hoo for me. We're all going to act differently, but the one thing we're going to do with absolute assurances, we're all going to come back to their trough and get one more drink. But Dr. Silkworth has identified alcoholism in terms that make sense to an alcoholic. We're physically powerless over alcohol because of the so-called allergen. What medical science has learned is that the liver and pancreas of the alcoholic do not produce the enzymes necessary to complete the chemical decomposition of ethanol through our body. Every time we take it, it's sort of an acetate compound. Every time we take it, it's sort of an acetate compound. Every time we take it, it's sort of an acetate compound. Every time we take a drink, more of this compound is developed. And the more we drink, the more we crave, and so there we go. So now we know that the liver and pancreas are really the culprit in the physical allergy, in the physical powerlessness of our disease. There's no cure for them, none whatsoever. I suppose within 25 to 50 years, genetic engineering will find one. But as of now, there's only one solution. And we'll get into that shortly. But the other half of it, and the one that drives us to Alcoholics Anonymous, is the second half. The obsession of the mind of an alcoholic. Totally obsessed with the need to have a drink to get rid of that restless, irritable, discontented feeling. Or it may be we're just feeling really extra good and need a solider. But our alcoholic mind is going to demand that we drink. Regardless of what we do, we're going to drink. And the only way they've been able to avoid this in the past was to lock them up. Well, we do have another choice now. We can get covered up, we can get locked up, or we can get a sponsor of notes which is in the big book and sober. And stay sober for the rest of our lives. But until we really understand our heart of hearts, that we have lost the ability to manage a decision to resist the first drink, we've got no business getting started on taking steps. That is a tragedy. We've got to know in our heart of hearts that we are absolutely, totally, completely helpless. That happens right after we come off our last drink. You go into treatment for a second. You go into treatment for 30 days. It's one of the almost guarantees that you're going to be back out there drinking within 90 days. The people who were so successful in sobriety all got started within the first week after we were all out of the drunk. And when I get a hold of somebody coming off a drunk, as I am, I've been blessed to do a couple of nights ago. Tomorrow we're taking a third step. And he'll get started on his fourth step. And then he will do the fifth step. And get that done, as busy as they are, we'll get on in with our recovery. But I'm not going any further with that right now. But the sooner we can get started on recovery after our last drunk, the better our chances are of survival. One of the great tragedies we have in our fellowship today can be seen over on page 24. And it's in the Talmud. Bill gives us a definition of alcoholism. The fact is that most alcoholics for a reason get obscure of lots of power of choice and drink. Yeah, we've lost the power to choose how much we drink. We've lost the power to choose whether or not we will drink. We are completely powerless over alcohol. I hear a lot of people say drinking was my problem. I had no problem drinking. I could drink with the best of them. Stopping wasn't my problem. I stopped hundreds of times. The problem I had was I couldn't stay stopped. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stay stopped. I was totally, I had lost total power over alcohol. He said our so-called power of willpower becomes practically non-existent. Well, that ain't so. It's always a general statement. Because we're still the most hard-headed, stubborn people on God's earth. As a rule. But we're still the most stubborn people on God's earth. As a rule. But there's one part of our self-will that's been totally dissolved. That will to resist that first drink. It no longer exists and will never again be present in our brain. It's gone. And so Bill says we are unable at certain times to bring it to our consciousness with the spoken force of memory and suffering and humiliation even a week or a month ago. See, almost all the people in the early days got started with them the first week. Bill left the hospital at the end of seven days. We have 36 years and never had another drink. Because he took the action in the hospital. And he devoted his life to helping others. If we don't get started pretty quick after our last drink, we're going to find our alcoholic mind saying it ain't that big a deal. I am not drinking. I've got important things to take care of. I've got to take care of my relationship. I've got to take care of my job. I've got to get things ready and ready at home. I've got to make sure my car is running okay. I've got important things I've got to do. And yeah, I'll go to AA meetings. But I don't see any reason to take these steps. I'm not drinking. See, this is one of the tragedies within our fellowship. The vast majority of people in AA today think it's about not drinking. Well, I'm going to surprise you. If you don't already know, go to page 19. Because Bill says five lines down from the top. We feel that elimination of drinking is but a beginning. Well, most people think that's the living end of AA. No, it isn't. You just bought the ticket to come to AA. And you didn't have to have a drink when you got here. But what is important, what is much more important, is a demonstration of our 12 steps at home, where we work, and every place we go. You see, this is a program to learn to live by. It gives us a quality of life better than anything we've ever known. So we wait around a while. The odds are exceedingly great that we will not be successful in long-term sobriety. And we may or may never make it back. Because the last thing on the list, without taking the steps or finding this tower through some vehicle, we will be without defense against the first drink. And when we have less than 5% of the people who said they want to quit AA, are here to celebrate one year of sobriety far less than 5%. We have fallen flat on our face in meeting our responsibilities as a newcomer. First of all, they've been encouraged to go someplace for 30 days, or longer, and dry up. And so within 90 days they're back down to the liquor store or the bar. Or just don't drink and go to meetings. That'll do it. And I always have to say, if I knew how to not drink, I would have been a better person. If I knew how to not drink, why would I go these sick damn knees? Anything makes sense then. I'm one of those who found out I was without defense against the first drink. After 16 years of not drinking, on a beautiful day in November in 1980, I'd been bird hunting all day and couldn't have felt better. But a thought hit me in the head when I got back to the motel when the beer tasted good. And I was in a town that was bone dry. So I had to drive 70 miles for a six-pack of beer. It took me two years to get back very, very, very drunk. I've been back over 25 years now and I live by this book. Because today I am not, I don't have to have any defense against first drink. It's not an option. Suicide is no longer a cure. So we've got step one pretty well nailed here. Now the one thing that you do need to know is, go to page 29. Three down that lines down from the top of the page. It says, Printer on clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered. Who? The people that wrote the book. There are no ideas or opinions in the book Alcoholics and Non-Discriminators. It is entirely based on the experience and knowledge of a handful of people, somewhere around 100, who by 1939 had developed a little program, and found a little program. It made it possible then to say, I am not drinking, I don't want to drink, and I'm having a hell of a good time with it. And thank God they've re-glerved it. It's in this book, not in the 12 and 12. Bill wasn't even thinking about the 12 and 12. He wasn't sure he was going to get this book written. But he got to this point. So you would really want to know how to live sober and have a wonderful time. If you're going to find those directions, they're right here. And if you can't find them in this book, they're regarded. Now, step two is a very simple step. Kind of like if you're new in town and made a few friends in the neighborhood and your car craps out. And you go to your neighbor and say, If you're new in town, your car needs a mechanic to work on it. And you go to your neighbor and say, I've got a little car problem. Could you get anybody you can recommend? And you say, oh yeah. I've been going to old Joe for the last 20 years. He does a real great job and he's always reasonable. And he guarantees his work. I have all the confidence on earth in him. Well, where are you going to take your car? Your neighbor gave you some hope that if you take your car to Joe, you're going to get good results. And that's the way it works in Alcoholics Anonymous. But if you go to Joe and he fixes your car and he does a good job of it and the price is right, are you going to have to ask anybody else where to go to have your car worked on the next time? Nope. In Alcoholics Anonymous, we get that hope by hearing a recovered alcoholic tell their story. Of what they do. Of what they were like as a person. Read Bill's story and get an idea how to do it. Because Bill's story told us in the front end of it how he was so determined to become a real success in the financial world. And he achieved that goal. He became very, very successful, highly respected. And the stock market before it crashed, he was very, very wealthy. It's amazing though. When you think about it. Once he saw and alcohol took hold of him and saw Dr. Silkworth, he learned he was going to die or lose his mind. And Dr. Silkworth told him to, well he told Lois and he got back to Bill, that the only hope he had for Bill was that he'd be locked up someplace. Otherwise, he was going to dream about it. Otherwise, he was going to drink and die or have a heart attack during DTs or he was going to become a wet brain. Well, Bill was scared and finally got where he wanted to die. And he was sitting there drinking one day all by himself. And the phone rang and he got on the other end was his old friend, Eddie. And Eddie said, Bill, can I come see you? And then Bill says, oh my God, Jeff. Been way long before we've simply seen each other. Get on over here. Bill went out and got two quarts of that tub gin. And when Eddie showed up at the door, Bill was absolutely blown away. He was clean, he was sober, he looked good. And Bill couldn't remember. It had been years since he'd seen him sober. In fact, he'd always said, if I ever get as bad as Eddie, I'm going to quit drinking. Eddie came on in, Bill poured him a drink, pushed it across to him, and Eddie said, no thanks, Bill, I don't have to drink anymore. And Bill said, what the hell's gotten into you? He said, I've got religion. And Bill said, oh shit. Hell, another religious crack talk. But what Eddie had done was give Bill some hope. And he didn't have the willingness at this point, but at least he had some hope because he saw his old drinking buddy sober. Two weeks later, he was going to the NFL. He knew he was going into DTs and prayed he was going to have a heart attack and die, so he went back to the hospital. And as soon as he came out from under the influence of the Peraldehyde, he called Eddie and said, Eddie, tell me again what you do. I'm scared to death. Eddie came over and told him, and when Eddie left, Bill slid out of his bed on his knees. And still not believing, he said, if there is a God, I don't think he's there. But if you are there, show yourself now. And of course, he had a vital spiritual experience. What was step two? Step two was Eddie showing up and telling Bill that he was sober. We come to believe. And step two, believe means hope. We came to hope that there was some power greater than ourselves which could, not would, but could restore us to sanity. And that's all step two, is a hope that if it works for that guy, it'll work for me. And so what we want to do, and the newcomers are never going to have this information, but the smartest thing a newcomer could do would be to ask God, would you like me to ask a person, have you had a spiritual experience as a result of these steps? If you are, I want you to be my sponsor. If you're not, I'm going to ask who has. But seeing somebody sober gives us that hope. Coming to meetings and seeing sober people gives us some hope, even though most of our meetings are discussion meetings that lead us right back to the doctor. But step two is no more than just getting the hope that maybe, just maybe this thing will work for them. Just like you just found out from your doctor that you have eternal illness. Been feeling lousy, couldn't do anything you wanted to. But he said, you know, you have an illness that kills on most people. But you're at home and the guy across the street had this, it's cut out a couple of years ago. And you run across the street and say, man, you're okay. You had this disease. They tell me I'm going to die, what did you do? And so the guy tells them, so we'll get the hope. And once we get the hope, then we simply make a decision. Step three is no more than a decision that takes a step. And the most practical way of step three is simply turning ourselves over to the direction of a recovered alcoholic. And the way we know we've got a recovered alcoholic is they're going to make us get in a big one. They're going to make us follow directions that have been working for 69 years without faith. We turn our will and life over to care and direction of a recovered alcoholic. And people want to argue this. But if we stop and think about how it all got started, Eddie showed up two months ago when Bill had called him to the hospital. On the 13th day or the 14th day of December 1934. Bill called him because he had hope. And then he made a decision. That night he turned his will and life over to the care of God, being in prayer, but in reality he turned his will and life over to the care and direction of Abby. Because Abby came back on the 4th, the 15th, and the 16th. And showed him what he had learned to do. And after the end Bill called Abby his sponsor. Bill sat down with Dr. Bob, not caring whether Dr. Bob got sober or not. He only had one hope in mind. Finding somebody who had a drinking problem he could tell a story to, which is in true recent writing. Dr. Bob was only going to give him 15 minutes, but Bill did 12 steps in the right way. He told him a little bit of what he had experienced, tragically. How he had made up his mind to never drink again time after time. How he failed time after time. How he had met this doctor that let him know that he wasn't dealing with will power, he was dealing with a deadly disease. An obsession of the mind coupled with an allergy of the body. And in 15 minutes Sam came to get him and Dr. Bob said, no, no, this guy knows what he's talking about. We have alcoholics in the house today because Dr. Bob turned his will and life over the care and direction of Bill Wilson. Bill Dyson reading his story back on page 157 and 158 in the big book. On the third day he turned his will and life over the care and direction of Bill and Dr. Bob. And so it's been ever since. Yes, we make a decision to let God run our life because Booth has done a good job of it up until now. Bill did a horrible job and he put us in the brink of death, total disaster. So we've got to take a risk and make a decision to let this whatever run our life by following the simple directions that are only found in the victim. And one of the things that I am completely fascinated with more so year by year is that on page 63 we make that decision. We make a decision to turn our will and life over the care and direction of something. And on page 64 we begin taking the action and by the time we get to page 83, 20 pages later, we have gone from a hopeless alcoholic to a recovered alcoholic. Now how simple can it get? And yet so difficult for people to surrender to it. We surrender to the bottle, we've got to surrender to the program. And if we're not willing to, you just make it this way. We surrender to the bottle, we've got to surrender to the program. And if we're not willing to, you just make it this way. That we can never ever have our way again and be happy with it. And we might as well go back and start drinking again. Because one of the worst tragedies that we can make is to make it this way. That we're going to turn our will and life over to a power that we don't know what is or who is, or even if it is. Because once we do that, we're never going to have what we want again. And the best thing that ever happened to me and the best thing that ever happened to most of the people I work with, is that I was able to turn my will and life over to a power that I could never have again. And that's what I've been doing for 20 years. I've been doing it for 20 years. I've been doing it for 20 years. I've been doing it for 20 years. I've been doing it for 20 years. I've had no more work. I've been doing it for 20 years. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. Being an alcoholic was awful. Being a recovered alcoholic is wonderful. I wouldn't go back to my other life or anything on earth. I love the quality of life I have today. I've never enjoyed life anymore even though my bride's been gone over two years. Life is wonderful. Because I've made a decision. with my sponsor to do what he told me to do. Life is good, and it can be for you too. Next week, we'll get into the beginning of recovery, because all we've done so far is identify alcoholism, how simple step two is and how simple step three is. To do what you're told to do, assuming you have a recovered alcohol as a sponsor. And if you want to know if they know what they're doing, open your big book and check them out, because the clear-cut directions are all right there. Again, from page 64 to page 83 are the directions to become a recovered alcoholic. Questions or comments? I use my own. I have a comment. I thoroughly enjoyed the way you did that whole thing today. I thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed it. I got so much out of it. And I think it really helped Laura. And I just want to say I really appreciate that, Cliff, a lot. Yeah, I really should thank you. Beverly, do you have any questions? I was going to say, if I could, you just leave them. Thank you. Beverly just wrote, she says, Do you do everything your sponsor says? Cliff? Are you asking me? I believe she is. You bet I did. Absolutely. I've been 19 years not knowing what to do, and I finally hooked up with old Joe. He turned me around in an afternoon. And I've done precisely what he told me to do, and that is study the big book and practice what you read and go back and study it again. Because I know your view of the end said it every time you close the big book, the big book fairy slipped back in there and rewrites part of it. And I've done it for 45 years. Joe studied for 45 years. The last time I was with him and didn't have it right, I've been doing it for a little over 25 years. I haven't got it right. I'll never do it again. To do that, I did precisely what my sponsor tells me to do. Told me to do. That's the way I was talked over. You sit down and study the book, it tells you. And when they forward the first edition, they're going to tell us precisely what they did. Page 21, they're going to tell us exactly what they did. Page 21, they're going to tell us exactly what they did. Page 45, they're going to tell us exactly what they did. Page 45, they're going to tell us exactly what they did. Page 49, they're going to tell us exactly what they did. You know, on page 49, they're going to say, we've given you a clear-cut direction. Now, how much latitude does that give? Okay, Cliff, I... Do we want to do it or disregard it? None. Yep. This is Beverly's question, all right? She says, I am having a problem with doing unselfish deeds. Do I just pray for the will to do it? Nothing. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. I'm just doing it. She says, I am having a problem with doing unselfish deeds. Do I just pray for the will to do it? Now, she's not done. Then she goes on to say that she means her sponsor wants her to do three unselfish deeds a day. Oh, crazy. What do you suggest? I suggest if I had a sponsor that knows what to program me as some. I know I wouldn't like to ever do this, but I'm going to know a little bit. Okay. I'm going to have to... Okay. But this is a life or death, and we've got way too many people assuming the responsibility for alcoholics looking for help that have never taken the steps. The way you get over your selfishness, your fear, those things, is you take the fourth step, the fifth step, find out why you are that way. And you start going through step six, seven, make your list, begin making amends, and immediately move on to pages 84 through 103. Forty pages takes us from hopeless to where we are living a life beyond our wildest dreams. But that, I don't know where that, well, I know where those ideas come from. They come from the treatment community. We have a very, very few of them have any understanding of alcoholics. And they don't like our program because it takes away their paycheck. I'm sorry, I do, I really get very disturbed with this sort of sponsorship. It isn't sponsorship. It's an ego trip. Just hang on. If it ain't in the big book, I don't need to know it anyhow. Now, Beverly, you've got a couple of gals that I know that are hooked into this meeting right now that can direct you and guide you along the path that will lead you where you want to go. Angie and Tony both. Thank you. That might not be all. I just haven't looked at the whole list here. Well, we have Julianne's right there. I presume they're chasing. So Julianne's got to be nearby. There's three of them. I'm right here. I have a question. Actually, Hossie has a question for you. What you just said about precisely and specifically, she wanted you to repeat that about the directions, like what pages those were on. Okay. Precisely is on Roman numeral 13. I said 21 is page 20 where it is exactly. About a third of the way down. It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. We shall tell you what we, the authors of this book, have done. In page 45 is where they're going to tell us exactly. And clear-cut directions are on page 29. And Dr. Byde made a statement. There is no such thing as individual interpretation of the 12 steps of alcoholic synonymous. But then if they've never tried the program of alcoholic synonymous, they don't know what it is anyhow. But we don't have the freedom to add to or take from. This is precise, specific, exact. It's clear-cut. Directed from the results. There is one thing. Sorry, my sound was messing up earlier, so I apologize for that. Did you say that up to page 63, or at page 63 is when you were covered? No, no, no, 83. Sorry, I just misheard it, that's all. Yeah. Just when I was. No, 63 is where we make a decision we're going to try this one. By the time we get to 83, we will have found out it works. It really does. If we follow directions, we just go to meetings, we won't know anything. But everybody else's problems, ideas, and opinions. Okay. Well, listen, Beverly does have this question clip that might be very pertinent to ask. And it is, have you ever had anyone stuck on steps, like she feels stuck on step three? Well, you know, at this second, either you're going to or you're not, that's all. You stand on the turning point when you know that you're going to die with this disease if you don't find a solution. And the fact is, I hope that maybe this program will work, so then we make a decision. Am I going to do it, or am I not? You can't get behind on a decision. Either you're going to or you're not going to. It's just a decision to make. Yeah. Beverly, what I tell my predecees, and I just told Laura this not too long ago concerning step three, is that, you know what, honey, you've had a higher power all this time. You know, the booze and whatever else you were doing was definitely your higher power. So, you know, you've had a higher power. It's just time to get a different one. Yeah. And I think that's what I've had just shared a lot about on that, you know, talking about the sponsor and following the directions and what happens. Anybody says they're hung up on step three doesn't have a clue what step one is. Or they're just ready to commit suicide. They're just ready to die. Again, old Diane, one of the gals that I worked with, did a lot of work at Maggie's house. And Angie bits of the good bit. But Diane, when she was here in Dallas, went over there every week several times and worked with the gals. And she came by one day and she said, Cliff, I finally got this thing, sponsor just figured out. She said, if they really understand how desperate they are and have the willingness, you can't beat them off with a baseball bat. But if they don't, you can't give it to them with an enemy. And I thought, hey, you got that so clear. And that's it. If they understand they're going to die with this stuff, they're going to be very, very eager to get busy doing anything they can to stop, to not have to drink again, to not die. You just saw a doctor and he said you've got terminal cancer. But we have, and almost everybody has died with it. But we've come up with a procedure that has been absolutely remarkable. Everybody that has followed this procedure who has this terminal cancer that you have, has not only survived, they've been put through the quality of life they've never known before. Now we haven't cured the cancer, it's in remission. And if they get off this procedure, it'll come right back and get them. But as long as they follow this procedure, they don't have to worry about it. It's not a concern and their life is great. Now do you want to do it or not? You see, that's alcoholism. And the thing we have to deal with in alcoholism is the alcoholic mind. And until we can diagnose our own case as being totally, completely hopeless, it's a waste of time to get anybody started on the steps. And if you get out and do what we're all supposed to do, to go wind up joints and find the ones coming off a drunk, you're going to find in a lot of people, as time goes on, when you start telling your story, they're going to say, oh, you're going to tell me about alcoholism. Dr. Yeah. Dr. And we said, yep, that's where I found my solution. So I tried. It didn't work for me. It won't work. And they're convinced because they did exactly what a sponsor told them to do. Do three nice things a day. It's crap. Excuse me. We ought to be doing the right things all day, every day, because that's what we're here for. We're here to learn and get. I apologize for that remark. But that sort of thing just prides me. Because I see so very, very few people coming to me, coming to us for help, who are being guided along paths of security and sobriety. That sort of thing really gets me fired up. But we can discontinue this any time you want to. Okay. I would like to continue this now. I have to go and I just... Dr. No, I mean, if you don't like me ever getting on my soapbox, we can discontinue the whole thing right now. Oh, no, no, no. Dr. I can't help it. When I hear stuff like that, I just... I want to hurt somebody because they're in a process of killing somebody. Cliff, I talk to girls and, you know what, sometimes they tell me things that people have said, and it's like, you know what, I'd like to just go around and smack a couple people. It's like, quit telling people this crap, you know? So I understand your soapbox. And I truly do... If we have any more questions or comments, can we speak up? Because I truly do have to go open up the hall. And I know, Cliff, you have another meeting to go to. Yeah. I've got one here in about 15 minutes. Dr. Right. You all have my Skype address. You've got my email address, I hope. And if there's any question that comes up, any way I could help, for God's sake, let me have a crack at it. Dr. Absolutely. You can grab ahold of one of the three of these ladies that's on this network right now. And where do you live, honey? Dr. I live in the city of San Francisco. I live in the city of San Francisco. I live in the city of San Francisco. Dr. And I live in the city of San Francisco. I live in the city of San Francisco. Dr. And I live in the city of San Francisco. I live in the city of San Francisco. So you live in the city of San Francisco? Dr. Maryland. Dr. Maryland? Dr. Maryland, yes. So don't you say Maryland? Dr. Well, we can... You can do it by long distance. We've been doing it for quite a while, and it proved to be very, very successful. Dr. Yep. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.