Willingness and the Shift in Step 3 – Josh S.

About This Speaker Tape

Gratitude Roundup - 2024

Josh S. maps out a recovery defined by the 'delusion of inequality' and a lifelong habit of being a chameleon mimicking the spiritual language of AA to fit in while avoiding the actual work. He traces a path from early drinking at age 12 and a suicide attempt at 17 to a decade of 'dry' sobriety where he checked boxes and chased the pat on the back. He describes the wreckage of a long relapse fueled by a lack of spiritual principles resulting in divorce restraining orders and a criminal record. The turning point arrives not through a magic fix but through the gritty reality of sponsoring others and a blunt non-emotional sponsor named Mark T. who forced him to stop looking for a 'sexy' solution and simply do the work. He dismantles the idea of the 'common problem' being enough arguing that only the common solution—rigorous step work and direct amends—pulled him out of morbid reflection.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and Josh S. begins his talk.
• 3:15 Laughter: Josh discusses the 'beautiful basket' of toiletries and his forgotten toothbrush.
• 8:45 Josh describes the 'delusion of inequality' and his childhood as a chameleon.
• 13:20 Josh discusses his first drink at age 12 and a suicide attempt at 17.
• 20:15 Josh talks about his first real sponsor, Bert, and the experience of being loved by another man.
• 28:40 Josh describes the 'spiritual malady' and the trap of 'living amends' as a way to avoid direct responsibility.
• 35:10 Josh recounts the relapse that led to divorce and restraining orders, citing page 24 of the Big Book.
• 42:30 Sponsorship: Josh describes how sponsoring Tyler S. became a life-saving miracle for him.
• 50:15 Josh discusses his work with Victor S. and the danger of 'morbid reflection' on page 86.
• 56:40 Josh describes his work with Mark T. and the emotional release of making a phone-call amends to a former employer in Wyoming.
• 62:10 Josh emphasizes the 'common solution' over the 'common problem' and the necessity of daily spiritual principles.