Why Higher Power’s Will Sometimes Sucks – Sara I.

About This Speaker Tape

SG's 1st Annual Foundation Stone 12 Step Workshop - 2023

Sara S. maps out the evolution of her relationship with a Higher Power moving from a childhood faith that felt distant and judgmental to a desperate broken surrender. She describes the wreckage of abandoning her children and the shame of being an 11-time felon contrasting her former 'Higher Power'—alcohol—with the spiritual tools of the program. Sara dismantles the delusion that external fixes like money or relationships could solve her internal void sharing the raw pain of losing her sister and baby brother to the disease. She frames Step 3 as a daily often hourly decision to quiet the 'stage characters' in her head and align her will with a Higher Power ultimately finding a peace that allows her to be a living example of recovery for her parents and daughter even while facing the enduring pain of a son she hasn't seen in 16 years.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Sara S. describes her early resistance to spirituality and the feeling of being judged by a distant Higher Power.
• 3:15 Laughter: Sara S. reflects on her 20-year surrender to alcohol as her 'Higher Power and master'.
• 5:20 Sara S. recounts her first Step 3 prayer in a recovery house, feeling embarrassed and obsessed with how others perceived her.
• 7:45 Discussion of Step 3 and the necessity of taking action to remove blocks.
• 10:10 Sara S. explains the 'program of subtraction' and the process of learning how to pray without being self-serving.
• 13:30 Sara S. discusses the 'bondage of self' and the 'stage characters' in her head that drive her decisions.
• 16:45 Sara S. shares the experience of being a 'dry drunk' in a prison cell for 18 months.
• 19:20 Sara S. describes the 'daily reprieve' and the struggle to maintain a spiritual condition.
• 22:10 Sara S. tells the story of how surrendering her job hunt led to a job offer despite her felony record.
• 25:30 Raw and Emotional: Sara S. discusses the death of her sister and baby brother.
• 28:45 Sara S. reflects on the 'bondage of self' and the 'voices in her head' that protect her from mourning.
• timecode Sara S. shares the emotional moment of her parents confirming she is a living example of recovery.