When You Know Every Day Will Be Exactly Like Today — That’s When You Become a Hopeless Drunk – Jack S.

About This Speaker Tape

Jack S. from Louisville, Kentucky shares his story at the 4th Annual Sowega Roundup in Albany, Georgia, with roughly 24 years of sobriety dating back to August 21, 1962. A gifted storyteller with razor-sharp humor, he describes growing up near Churchill Downs racetrack, where he fell in with a crowd of gamblers and drinkers as a teenager. His father, a railroad executive, refused to enable him — when Jack called from jail at age 20, his father told him he was smart enough to figure his own way out and hung up. That tough-love stance defined their relationship as Jack's drinking destroyed everything around him.

Jack worked for the Louisville and Nashville Railroad for 12 years, protected partly because his father was assistant director of personnel, but his behavior was a constant embarrassment. He deteriorated from a nice home to a one-room apartment to a flophouse to Skid Row, where he lived in cardboard boxes behind a hardware store through 1960-62. He describes the peculiar desperation of an alcoholic on Skid Row — unable to emotionally adjust to the physical surroundings, always feeling he didn't belong there, yet powerless to leave. A finance company collector tracked him down in his freezer box and threatened him with consequences, oblivious to the absurdity of the situation.

On August 21, 1962, Jack's father walked into a bar with a stranger named Jack Dawes, who sat down and said the words that changed everything: "I used to be like you are, and somebody helped me." They took him to a psychiatric hospital where, that same night, AA held its first-ever meeting in that facility. Jack resisted for over a year — he didn't drink because he was afraid to, and went to AA because he was afraid not to. His crusty sponsor, a 17-year-sober insurance salesman, told him alcoholics have an extra bone running from brain to spine that opens the mind when kicked hard enough.

Jack married Gay about 14 months into sobriety, and describes their 22 years together as the crowning fulfillment of his life. He closes with a powerful reflection on Higher Power's will versus self-will — "My will says die; Higher Power's will says live" — and the snake parable as a warning to anyone thinking of picking up a drink: "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Jack opens with humor about his name causing problems in airports — someone yelling 'Hi Jack' at the terminal
• 4:00 Growing up near Churchill Downs racetrack, falling in with gamblers and the fast crowd as a teenager
• 9:00 His father's tough-love philosophy — called from jail at 20 and his dad hung up on him
• 14:00 Twelve years working for the railroad, protected because his father was assistant director of personnel
• 20:00 The illusion of controlled drinking — the persistence of believing this time will be different
• 28:00 Life on Skid Row in Louisville — sleeping in cardboard boxes, the finance company collector knocking on his box
• 35:00 August 21, 1962 — his father walks into a bar with Jack Dawes, who says 'I used to be like you are and somebody helped me'
• 42:00 First AA meeting in the psychiatric hospital — the nurse drags him by the ear, an old woman says 'honey, we need you'
• 50:00 His crusty sponsor's philosophy — the extra bone in every alcoholic that opens the mind when kicked hard enough
• 58:00 Higher Power's will versus self-will — 'My will says die, Higher Power's will says live' — and closes with the snake parable