Trusting Higher Power in the Middle of Terrible Adversity – Bob

About This Speaker Tape

1973, Wisconsin. Bob is lying flat on his back on a kitchen floor, his wife and kids long gone, staring up at a sponsor and a man named Dick. He is a product of the "Alcoholic Olsons," a lineage that specializes in penitentiaries and early graves. Bob’s father died screaming in a hospital bed, a victim of the four horsemen: terror, bewilderment, frustration, and despair.

Bob describes the grit of early sobriety: the DTs that made him fight imaginary giant ants with cans of Raid, and the crushing weight of impotence while other men lied in meetings about their sex lives. He recounts a standoff with a shotgun aimed at a violent stepfather, learning the hard way to trust a Higher Power's suggestion over his own rage. He speaks of the "bondage of self," comparing the ego to a periscope aimed right at one's own forehead. For Bob, recovery is the precise act of smashing the delusion that he is like other people.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bob O. opens with gratitude and mentions his sobriety date of May 28, 1973.
• 2:15 Description of the 'four horsemen of alcoholism' and the tragic end of his father.
• 6:40 The encounter with Father Will U. and the challenge to find a Higher Power.
• 9:10 Laughter: Bob describes his DTs and the giant ants under the refrigerator.
• 12:30 Discussion on the reality of impotence in early sobriety and the priest's candid advice.
• 17:45 The story of the shotgun and the lesson on trusting a Higher Power over self-will.
• 24:10 Detailed breakdown of the Step 3 prayer and the 'bondage of self' (Step 3).
• 28:30 The mechanics of the Step 4 inventory: columns, self-seeking, and the 'fear inventory' (Step 4).
• 33:15 Analysis of the 'pile of dung syndrome' and the difference between ego and intuition.
• 38:50 The process of making amends to his father (Step 9).
• 42:10 The story of the Rebel Bassboat and the priority of financial amends.
• 47:50 A sudden health scare leading to emergency open-heart surgery.