Tom I. ( 3 of 7 ) Mens Fall Retreat in Vancouver ( 9 18 10 ) AA Speaker Tom I Mens Fall Retreat – Part 3 – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

Tom I. ( 3 of 7 ) Mens Fall Retreat in Vancouver ( 9 18 10 ) AA Speaker Tom I Mens Fall Retreat - 2024

Tom I. maps out the heavy lifting of the amends process centering on a devastating drunk driving accident in 1956 that left two young people dead. He describes the wreckage of institutionalization and the long slow road to making direct and indirect amends. Tom dismantles the idea of forcing forgiveness explaining how he prayed for 'opportunity' rather than just willingness eventually leading to a surreal encounter in a courtroom years later where one family embraced him and another remained closed. He cuts through the vanity of 'recovery trophies'—like a Jaguar with a Step 9 license plate—and argues that true freedom only comes from cleaning one's side of the street regardless of whether the other party accepts the gesture.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Discussion on meeting focus and the origins of holding hands in circles.
• 5:15 Tom describes the drunk driving accident and the initial refusal of the families to hear from him.
• 8:40 Step 8: Tom explains adding the word 'opportunity' to his prayer for amends.
• 11:30 Laughter: The story of the televised interview and the woman who recognized his nose.
• 16:20 The surreal experience of returning to the courtroom where he was convicted to face the victims' families.
• 21:10 Tom discusses the 'freedom steps' and the necessity of moving on from heavy-duty guilt.
• 26:40 A story about borrowing money specifically to make amends to a former boss.
• 31:10 Tom critiques the 'Step 9' Jaguar vanity plate.
• 35:40 Discussion on the tragedy of 'chronic slippers' and the quote from William J.
• 42:10 Tom's perspective on welcoming newcomers and his experience with a cold AA club in Virginia.
• 48:50 Advice on finding 'three legacy' groups and avoiding one-dimensional meetings.
• 53:10 The art of listening as a gift and a tool for influence.