The Treatment for the Disease of Loneliness – Bob D.

About This Speaker Tape

11th Annual Greater Palm Springs Convention - 1998

Bob D. maps out the internal void of the 'divine dissatisfaction' type of alcoholic describing a life spent chasing a feeling of wholeness that alcohol once simulated. He traces his path from a childhood of love but emotional numbness to a career of chronic relapse homelessness and the desperation of the 'bondage of self.' Bob dismantles the illusion that sobriety is a linear climb toward perfection arguing instead that for the insatiable the only relief from the abyss of self-obsession is the act of self-abandonment. He recounts the grit of the Las Vegas streets—selling blood and prostituting himself in gay bars for wine—and finds his turning point not in a perfect surrender but in the willingness to cash a 'grubby check' of spiritual principles. He makes his case for service as the only viable treatment for the loneliness that drives alcoholics to the edge.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bob D. opens with gratitude and a joke about eating a fruit basket in his hotel room.
• 3:15 The horseradish story: a metaphor for the innate drive to do things that make one sick.
• 8:40 Discussion of the 'spiritual malady' and the concept of 'divine dissatisfaction' via a story about Bill W.
• 14:20 The 'phenomenon of craving' and the story of the cough medicine in the bathroom.
• 20:10 Laughter: Bob describes the difference between how a non-alcoholic sips a drink and how he drinks.
• 25:30 The 'disease of loneliness' and the desperation of untreated alcoholism.
• 32:10 The 'grubby check' metaphor: the moment of desperation and commitment to the 12 Steps.
• 41:00 The 'actor who wants to run the whole show'—working through the ego and the 'throne of judgment'.
• 50:15 The 'bondage of self' and the story of helping a sick alcoholic in a Las Vegas hospital.
• 56:00 Closing thoughts on the treatment of alcoholism being the constant thought of others.