The Ten Step Inventory for an A-Life – Don B.

And it just establishes some kind of idea, because remember when we read our book, it said deep down every man, woman, and child has a fundamental idea of God. And sometimes it's covered by circumstances and problems and all kinds of stuff. So leave it turned and turn to the non-God side. And get your pen out. now our measurement is like a speedometer zero to one hundred that's how we're going to measure this is not rocket science tree this ten step inventory if you go across the just the United States alone you'll find it in different forms and everybody will insist that their form is the right form you know it's just it's an easy way to look at things in a way and some helpful suggestions can be made so anger how much of my life zero to one hundred in some sort of a figure fifty percent twenty five percent seventy five I don't know whatever it happens you think it is anger how much percentage zero to a hundred do I spend in anger so it might be ten fifteen twenty twenty five thirty of course when we're I used to be angry all the time when I was drinking unless I was good and drunk let's go down the page now do not think about this with the mind you will mess up just let it come naturally as a feeling don't worry about thinking it over the ego wants to argue with you how much of my time do I spend criticizing zero to a hundred do I spend 25 50 percent 100 percent how much dishonesty do I have I'm going to move quickly now because I don't want you thinking I want you just to write a number the number is not that important at the moment because that number will probably change before long how much doubt do I ave twenty percent fifty percent hundred envy how much envy do Iave zero to a hundred now We're not going to add up and down. We're going to go across, so don't worry about just zero to a hundred. Get a figure. You can change it as we go. False pride. False pride is when you have to tell people things that you really aren't because you think you'd be better if you tell them something like, he would say to me, you're so tall, did you play basketball? Oh yes, I had a whole story with it. It was a big lie, but I didn't know. you're from Oklahoma do you play the guitar yeah I could play three chords and two runs I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket am I frightened am I frightened gluttony the overwanting of things it doesn't have to be food the over wanting of things greedy am I greedy do I have harmful acts it's one where you sit down and plan something I'm going to get even with you for what you did to me at the meeting do I have hate some of these are hard to admit am I impatient am I inconsiderate you can't help it you're selfish and self-centered you've got to be a little inconsidered am I insincerity do I go to people and smile at their faces and as soon as their backs are to me I start talking bad about them am I sincere am I intolerant yes can't stand it Do I have laziness? Put a figure in there if we go. It's easy. Don't work it hard. It's not like you're going to fail life. Am I lustful? I tell the boys a little lustfulness is good. Better than a dead fish. I always tell the girls they're going to overeaters or you're going to get your bait in shape. You're going to find God, that's one thing. listen do I have negative thinking do I sit around all day long going nothing's ever gonna happen good for me you know life just sucks if you had my life you'd feel the same way it's living on emotions emotions are given to you for a reason but not to be lived on pride I have a lot of pride procrastination pride is in things you might be able to do well people are just here and you talk about it you know do I procrastinate do I put off resentment do I have some resentments is there selfish and self-seeking the next line says self-condemnation and what I want you to do I don't want you to put a figure in there I want your answer I want to write in there in the blank spot next to it plain God beating you up is plain God not your job you're just not smart enough I hate to tell you that Self-importance. We wouldn't be having a meeting this week if it wasn't for Mike and Don. Well, yes we would. There'd be somebody else to do it. Self-justification. Now I'm good at that. If you hadn't done this I wouldn't have done it and you started it all. It just goes on and on. Self-pity, stingy, sloth. Sloth is an animal in the jungle that's part of its self-defense mechanism as it moves so slowly it blends right in with the colors of the landscape. They turn colors like white or black and they just fade. They're very hard to see in a tree. and what it really is meaning is yeah they got a plan but boy they don't go at it very quick you know suspicious are you suspicious of everything and everybody you can't hardly watch the world news anymore I heard these politicians talking the other day on the news they said well the American people don't trust us we haven't trusted you people for a hundred years vulgar moral and trashy thinking now lay that one on you for a minute Okay. If you've got that done, open your page. We probably won't finish this. It's noon now. We'll probably stop for lunch, but maybe we can get an idea of how this works. Somebody give me a figure out there of anger, just any of them. 15%. Look across the page. That means you have to be 85% calm. Now, this is checking your thinking. If you're not 85% calm, adjust the anger figure to what it would make it come out to be 100. Does that make sense? So if maybe I've missed it, maybe I'm angry 75% of the time and the other side ought to be 25. Got it? I told you don't worry about the first number because it's going to change as you work your way along here. Next one is give me a figure of criticizing somebody. 30% means 70% looking for the good in people. does that fit is that right do you look at for the good people 70% of the time do you or don't you this is a yes or no okay so we'll give her that so that's hers she belongs to her alright dishonesty give me a figure on dishonesty somebody anybody 5% you look across the page and honesty is at 95% that fits good if it don't change it doubt somebody give me a figure 40% okay faith is 60% does that fit do you have faith 60% of the time okay so if it doesn't fit change it to what the figure ought to be this is you're just getting as close as you can we're going to go real quick now I don't want you thinking too hard envy give me a figure on envy anybody 50 on envy that means I'm grateful 50. Got it? Change the figure to fit. False pride. That's a lie about me. Social instincts involved. Give me a false pride figure. 80% on false pride. Thank you. Sold to an American. There you go. False pride 80%. Simplicity is 20%. The answer to life, even though it doesn't sound like it, is simplicity. And then A God-given life is, and the way we live here is in simplicity. Frightened. Give me a figure. Ten. Courage. Ninety percent. Okay? Gluttony. Give me an example. Give me that figure. Fifty. Moderation. Fifty, got it? Okay. Greedy. Give me the figure. 15 85 giving or sharing if it don't fit change the figure harmful act figure nobody likes to admit this one zero I got 25 I'll take 25 that means if yours is zero then good deeds in your life are 100% you believe that I'm going to change that. Okay. All right. Hate. Hate. 20% on hate means I've got 80% love. Secret of life. You cannot have what you will not give. So if you want love, you've got to give love. Can't have what you won't give. If you want forgiveness, you've gotta give forgiveness. Impatience. 55 somebody says. 45% patience then on a 55 deal inconsiderate 25 75% considerate insincerity 20 straightforwardness 80 intolerance play the game 30 tolerance 70 laziness Fifty-five activity. I'd buy it. I'd Buy it. Lustful lust. Fifty. Okay. All right. Anybody want to... You guys got to open up on what we're going to do. Keep at it. All right, here we go. God bless you. Good to see you. Looks like some people got washed out by rain. No, they just hadn't got back yet. We're going to go on without them. So we're working on this list that you guys have made. So what do we do next? So when you come in at night, remember what the book said about pluses and minuses. You come in tonight and that day you had a chance to be angry. And you decided to remain calm and trust your God to give yourself a plus. If you carry the anger out, you give yourself a minus. Do you understand how that works? Pluses and minuses. And you just keep going along and doing that, pluses and minuses, plus and minus. Some things will need more attention than others. If you're hitting somewhere... See this thing up on top here says 90 to 100 equals an A in the third column. is used to grade the score you end up with. For instance, what does yours say about anger? The first one. What did you come out with when you... 25. 25 angers, 75. So you put down 75 over here on this third column and look up here on your score sheet and that would be a C. Got the idea? Pretty easy. Just stay with me now. You've got three columns. You only got two. You show them? That's right. Here. We're giving these, Mike, so they'll have some that are a whole list of them. So you're going to score... Yeah. You're going to score yourself. Okay. He needs one over there. It's nice to keep one clean so you can make coffees for your sponsorees. Or just to give away to people. It's a pretty simple exercise. So, if I said I'd been criticizing, somebody give me what their final figure on criticizing or looking at the good was. No, it can't be that much. We're looking at The Good Side. All right, so you've got a 70 on looking for the good. So you go up to your score plan up here and it's, oh, that's a C. And you put a C over here in that third column. Now, the idea is to continue on with this as long as you can. And you keep working with it every night. Just leave it by the bedside. You can make this one sheet go for weeks at a time, just a little plus or a little minus. Everything on here doesn't apply to every day. don't build yourself a sweat here just go easy but you'll see there's certain areas of your program that need some support and some help and if you're on this side over here under trust and you don't trust 30% of the time you need some help so anything below 59 is failing you're failing life anything that's 90 and above we call an A life and that's what you're looking for an A light now we've already told you that self can't overcome self right so let's go to step 11 of this book and find out a way to get a little help because Lord knows I need it look on page 99 very simple exercise if you use this exercise in combination which is called the St. Francis prayer I will educate you to this Francis didn't write this prayer this prayer is written as a summation of his lifestyle But we call it the St. Francis prayer. Someone else wrote it about him. You can't find any roots where he ever wrote this. So let's take a look at this thing and see if we can find a 10-step inventory as we're just now looking at within this prayer. He says, Lord, make me a channel of thy peace. He knows about powerlessness. Francis knows about powerfulness. Why? He wouldn't have to ask God if he had any power. He'd just go do it. No, God, I want to be a... Let me be a channel. What is a channel? Something that's passing through. God works through you. You have no power. But if you stay in fit spiritual condition, he can use you. That where there is hatred, I may bring love. Does that look anything like this 10-step inventory we're looking at? Sure it does. Sure it doesn't. Where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness here's some more where there is discord I may ring harmony where there's error I may bringing truth whether it's doubt I may brining faith whether it is despair I may be bringing hope just like the 10 step inventory this is just expanded that's all where there are shadows I may being light and where there sadness I may been joy Lord grant me I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted amazing to understand and be understood big principle in AA those are called paradoxes to love than to be loved for it is by self-forgetting altruistic behavior that one finds it is my self-love it is forgiving that one is forgiven and it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life amen My sponsor says, and there are some segments of AA who believe that the first 60 pages will kill the old person. My sponsor said if the steps are carefully taken, that the steps will burn a man into ashes and upon those ashes arises a brand new being that's never been here before. there's a chance here of becoming brand new I don't know of any other places some churches do that I guess I'm not that familiar with them now you use this at night this prayer or particularly in the morning when you go out to your life just use it every day don't have to believe it just use it and you start working this 10 step inventory at night I will guarantee you in one month this, which is your negatives on this side, will begin to move over to the positive side and you haven't done anything. And you will gain yourself what we call an A-life, and an A life is where you're happy, joyous and free. It's fourth dimensional living at its very best. Okay, if we have questions later we can talk about them. We're going to get into a vision for you. This is Bill's summation of history from the start in June of 35 to April of 39. He does a wonderful job. I think I heard somebody, I think i heard you say your favorite chapter. Bill is not a professional writer he writes from the heart therefore a book called Language of the Heart he writes by feeling he does not he's not a profession he in this particular chapter by feeling and that's why he could write to wives because he wrote from feelings that's how he could write a lot of stuff so he says a vision for you chapter 11 page 151 for most normal folks drinking means by this time I know I'm not normal right means conviviality companionship and colorful imagination it means release from care boredom and worry it's joyful intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good i had all that feeling from drinking in the first part of my drinking in the early days until the disease progressed but not so with us in those in those last days of heavy drinking old pleasures were gone that's bottom exactly i understand it perfectly they were but memories never could we recapture the great moments of the past there was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do so. Alcohol took me down a path and it took me to hell. And I couldn't kill myself and I just lived in hell. Drinking was no fun anymore, just like in Wilson's life. It just wasn't fun. It was survival. It wasn't fun. There was always one more attempt and one more failure trying to Trying to get that old thinking the first time I ever took a drink, man. Oh, man, I never felt that good in my life. The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society and from life itself. As we became subjects of king alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapors that his loneliness settled down. it's thickened ever becoming blackened you're finding bottom here some of us sought out sorted places hoping to find understanding companionship and approval Lord companion I was the Lord companion in the end I didn't want to drink with anybody but me I didn' t want to share anything the awful awakening for the face of the hideous poor horseman terror bewilderment frustration and despair. How many of you here took it far enough that you got to see a few things that aren't real? Yeah, that's good. And happy drinkers who read this page will understand by experience they will understand. Now and then he says a serious drinker being dry at the moment says I don't miss it at all feel better work better have a better time next problem drinkers as ex-problem drinkers we smile at such Sally we know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits he fools himself inwardly he would give anything to take a half a dozen drinks and get away with them he comes to AA like that he's forced here he doesn't like it doesn't want to be in here he wants to be able to go back to the good old days he will presently try the old game again before he isn't happy about his sobriety you got it He cannot picture life without alcohol. Someday he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness is just as few do. I have been there. I have ben there. Concisely drank until I couldn't. You can only go in a laboratory about 14 days. About 10 days is pretty maximum for most people who don't eat and just drink, and that's what I did. And then you've got to detox. and I don't know anything about detox I think I got the flu and I would have this we had a bed in this big old place we lived and I would jump up and take hot showers to try to get that smell out of my system that vodka smell you can't smell you know the one and it wouldn't wash off and it'd take about four days I didn't know what detox was three days four days later I'd come out of it see a few things along the way I think I told you how to Did I ever tell you how to 12-step a speed freak? You walk in the door, and before he can open his mouth, you say, there it goes. And before he opens his mouth again, you say here it comes. And you've got him going. And then you lay the message on him. But if he starts talking, you'll never shut him up. Then he will, no longer as such as few do, he'll be at the jumping off place he wishes for the end. It's called suicide. And I've had the gun against my head. and I broke January the 15th of 1985 and I called upon God I didn't think God owed me anything I haven't had a drink since I said God help me pretty simple prayer when you're in real big trouble you don't have no fancy prayer you know what I'm saying prayer gets real simple God help us and with a very short time I got help and I ended up in a 28 day treatment program I'm so drunk they had to bring me in a wheelchair I won't pass out I bet they wished I would have and I'm laying in this bed and this lady brings me some downer valium which is alcohol in pill form and I I raise up from my elbow my best of my trying to look like I know something and I said what do you think I am a drug addict and she left and the head nurse came in and she was great used new alcoholics inside and out she said Mr. Brown can I talk to you Mr. Stewart I said we want you to take these pills because it will help you to come down because a guy like you has been drinking for as much as you have, for as long as you've had. Sometimes you're such a big man that we're scared of you. And there's a heart machine in the corner. I know what that thing is. And I said, give me the pills. I'll be glad to take them. She just knew how to approach me. I've never forgotten her. We have shown how we've gotten out from under. You say, yes, I'm willing. but am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring, and dumb like other righteous people I see or the old ideas? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I have you a sufficient substitute? If you've been in AA and you feel that way, you haven't been in AAA. you there's no telling you from my experience what it's like to take a person through the steps and watch transformation take place in front of you and you know it's not you and you feel it's them well that don't leave much right i put whatever name on it you want to put on it but they don't lead much something beyond ourselves has done something and when you get into the battle here get on the battle line with the rest of us that do this work we need all the help we can get yes there's a substitute and it's vastly more than that it is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous here comes a little promise there you will find release from care boredom and worry when you're in a battle for people's lives and I will add soul let me tell you something that's an exciting thing to do your imagination will be fired promises life will mean something at last promises the most I for years life really didn't have much meaning other than drinking for me the most satisfactory years of your existence lies ahead I don't care how old you are when you got here. Ask Mike, he was kind of old when he got here? You can tell he's kind of old. He's been somewhere a long time, you can tell that. Another promise, thus we find the fellowship and so will you. How has that to come about, you ask? Where am I to find these people? You're going to meet these new friends in your own community. Near you alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in sinking ships. It's absolutely true. Somebody said to me once, why don't you become a delegate? And I said, I got more alcoholics probably within a four-block row of my house that I couldn't take care of. I don't need to run to New York to do that. God bless the people that do. We need them to do that. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds high and low, rich and poor. These are the future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. The promise here Among them you will make lifelong friends. Oh, you besties. God bless us. I mean, it's a wonderful experience. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties. For you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life. You have the power to do that. You don't, God doesn't, has not chosen the qualified. He qualifies the chosen. Make sense? So don't worry about time. Don't put time limits on God. God, I love people that do that. You ever hear, well, you know, you ought to be around here for about five years and, you know, if I could stage over for five years, I don't need you. I wouldn't have needed you. I couldn't that was like Mike I didn't know I was going to make the first meeting even in the hospital I wasn't too sure rediscover life you will learn the full meaning of love thy neighbor as thyself it may seem incredible that these men are to become happy respected and useful once more if you're not glad to be a part of that I'm trying to tell you you're so self-centered you need to look I mean you're not seeing what's going on around you you go to meetings of AA and we have some fun and we listen to the speakers and it all sounds great but underneath all of that something is happening to people something extraordinary something beyond our own selves and it happens every day worldwide nowadays worldwide there's nothing like us anywhere in the world how can they rise out of such misery bad repute and hopelessness the practical answer is that since these things have happened among us they can happen with you all you got to do is listen to our stories and look at this and say well it was great you know one of the beneficial things of anything is just come to a meeting and sit there I mean that that tells people something you don't have to open your mouth oh there's old George over there he's been a wizard for 38 years George ain't saying nothing but he represents 38 years of continuous survival should you wish them above all else be willing to make use of our experience that's the newcomer if you want to use our experience we're sure they will come the age of miracles is still with us our own recovery proves that. You're not supposed to recover. There's no known cure to this disease. Yet we do. Our hope is that when this tip of a book is launched on the world's tide of alcoholism defeated drinkers will seize upon it to follow its suggestions. Many we are sure will rise to their feet and march on. Amazing. That's what Abdomen You could have killed me. I was ready to die at 50. I love life at 72. It's been the best thing I've ever found. I wouldn't have it any other way. They will approach still other sick ones, and a fellowship of alcoholics may spring up in each city and hamlet, haven for those who must find a way out in 1939. That's quite a prophecy. We are a worldwide organization today without a business plan. Think about it. Without a business plan. Because we didn't kill the spirit here. And so individuals took the program to other countries. Individuals, nobody told them to. Individuals got up and got a meeting started. There's a man named Noah, where I get to do the interview sometimes. And we run to Noah's meeting on Tuesday night when we're there because Noah has a meeting that he opens and closes mostly by himself up above Port Bragg not Port Brag Russian River and I think so much of Noah that I love to take people down there and sometimes we go down it was 15 or 20 he's never met Bob Pearson he's ever met Bob Smith he doesn't even know who the people are and we walk in there some nights he's got the coffee made and the cookies out and he's all by himself just waiting for somebody to show up. And he did that for a long time. And sometimes people would show and sometimes they wouldn't. So people have gotten sober there and moved on and Noah has stayed and maintained that station to keep that place open in case some alcoholic wants to find his way to that fellowship. That's very disappointing to go down there but make a little coffee, drink a little copy, eat your cookies. oh well nobody's showing up tonight I'll go home 15 minutes early and when you walk in with 15 people and they came in 1961 he looks at them like 61 how have we been born then this is exciting you know he's not the only guy that ever happened to old timer from Kansas City Johnny the Candy Salesman manned a meeting by himself for two and a half years waiting for an alcoholic to walk through the door. Knocking on doors, looking for people. That's the kind of fire that comes with us when we recover. That'sthekindofirethatcomesfromtheinside. We do things that we would never have even thought of doing before. In the next chapter, working with others, in the chapter working with other you gather an idea of how we approach and aid others to health. suppose now that though you or several families have adopted this way of life he's talking about Akron you will want to know more of how to proceed from this point perhaps the best way of treating you to a glimpse of your future will be to describe the growth of the fellowship among us here's a brief account what he's saying is you're all alone and those old timers that were all alone were called founders they founded the Kansas City meeting They founded Trenton, New Jersey. They founded these meetings. We walk in and they're already founded. There's 300 meetings in Conocosta County. You can't hardly go anywhere without falling over one. Years ago, and I was going to give you a little history. Years ago in 1935, one of our members made a journey to a certain western city, Akron, Ohio. Bill Wilson. I have a CD put out by GSO that has Bill arriving at Akron on the train with all the train sounds Steve is going shhh the brakes are put on you know and the guy starts very professional and Bill Wilson is coming to Akron it's quite a deal from a business standpoint his trip came off badly Bill thought he was going to Akron. This is a lesson in God's will. Bill thought he was going to Akron to take over a company. The company was a machine shop, a big one, that serviced all the rubber industries, the Goodyears, the Firestones and various and sundry other companies. And they all owned this together. And there was a chance to take over the stock. And he had been promised a big job. He was sober a while. He was going to get it. They had a house that came with it and servants can drive limousine driven cars and you can get boys out of the park. That's what he went for. But that's not what happened. And as things fell through, you see his personal little plans fell through. And he's desperate. And she's in the Mayflower Hotel and he's pacing the lobby he's got about ten dollars not enough to pay his room rent he's gotta stay through monday to meet with the lawyer from the other side he's already been put down for drinking they know about him uh he he gets desperate and he went to his experience how had he stayed sober for six months it stayed sober by working with others no even though they weren't getting sober but he had had stayed sober. That was all the experience he had. And so he could hear the tinkling of the glasses in the place and the camaraderie in the bar and the music and the gaiety and ten dollars would certainly get him drunk in those days. And maybe he could sit there because everybody knows what's going on. He's a big shot from Wall Street. And people in those states would invite you home. Maybe they'd get a tip on the market or something, but they just want to know what's happening on Wall Street, and it's not a big deal. so he messes around gets some nickels and goes to the phone booth and on the side over here in those days they used to put a list of all the churches because good Christians and religious people of all types would want to go to church on Sundays even though you're traveling so you'd want to know where your church was and so he called along and he made this call and he got a guy by the name of Walter Tunst Walter Tunts was the physical minister who will play I've got a little bit of a talk on him I'm just a nutter with this kind of stuff I just pick it up in pieces I was like a little like I had a new father over a child when I found Walter Tumps just the opening remark I got him connected there he is and he gives Bill a list of ten pieces and Bill would start his conversation I'm a rum hound from New York he liked to call himself that Bill did always pick that up he calls himself that nowadays and I haven't had a drink for six months and he said I need to find another alcoholic to talk to that's all he knows he don't know nothing else just got to find another alcoholic to talk with so he calls this list and everybody's doing everything and he finally gets a lady by the name of Henrietta Stiveling Henrietta stiving is the daughter-in-law of John Stiveley and the founder of Goodyear Rubber Company and if you're watching Castles of America you will see the castle the Stiverling Castle in those days the rich people used to like to show off a little bit like the Europeans that they came from by having huge manicured lawns, acres of it big homes, hundreds of rooms and this castle got over, I call it castle over a hundred rooms it's not clear why she's not she's married to his son She met him while she was in college, a basher. She's a bashar graduate. Her daddy was the only child of a judge out of El Paso, Texas, and his wife. They were pretty upward-mobile people. And she marries this guy, meets her rich husband is what happens when she marriers this guy. And for some reason that's not going well. She's living in the gatehouse of this mansion with her three kids. and John Jr. will become a congressman later on and has been interviewed about AA a lot two weeks before this happened I'll leave you to make these decisions God's, if it's not God's hands it's certainly his fingers two weeks ago two weeks prior to this had happened Henrietta who runs the Oxford groups in that area calls up all the people that come to her meetings she's like the secretary and said, we're going to share something costly. Cost like sharing this list of your liabilities. Sharing that maybe you're not as honest as you'd like the people think you are. Sharing that you're less than in terms of relationship to God. And so everybody had that in mind. I guess you avoided the meeting if you didn't want to share something costly, just didn't go, right? so they show up and Dr. Bosman go into this meeting for two and a half years and he can't quit drinking some people say historians you get all kind of history that it was a set up I don't believe so I believe it was just a normal function of the Oxford group people and so in this thing they're all admitting their character defects when it comes to Bob and Bob says for the first time that we know of that he admitted he was an alcoholic and he said I'm an alcoholic and I can't stop drinking. And as a group, they basically said, well, does everybody want prayer? Yes, we want prayer. And so they all got down and they knelt for her and they prayed for Bob like we do here when we leave you guys. We have you put it in the prayer circle and we pray for others and they're praying for each other and get the thing done. I don't know what you would think, but two weeks later a guy calls up from a guy you don't Know and calls up and says my name is Bill Wilson I'm a rum hound from New York and I must find another alcoholic to speak to what would you think? She doesn't know this guy from Adam she is wealthy or at least supported by a wealthy family she says come over right now she has no clue to this guy he may be a throat cutter we don't know what he is but she sees it as an answer to prayer does that make sense that's how sure she was and it turns out she's right and Bill Wilson comes over immediately how many times have I called you up and said I'm a rum hound from New York my name is Don Brown I've got to find another hockey to talk to talking to you might get somewhere but if I'm talking to normal They'd go, you're who? No, I can't help you, sir. Click. Over he comes. He calls Ann immediately because it's answered a prayer and Ann's in this awkward group and she's very excited about it. In fact, this woman is actually Bill and Bob's sponsor in the spiritual life for a while. And so Dr. Bob couldn't come that day because he's drunk. And his mother's day, and he showed up with a potted plant. He was potted. They like to make a joke and say he fell out of the table. Smitty said that's not true. His dad always went up to the bedroom and passed out. Next day, they bring him over. Bill doesn't have any money. Bill is supposed to be there working on this other deal. this lady has a little influence so she gets him a room out at the golf course where a friend of hers had a room and he stays there a while not very long about a week or so and then Ann Smith gets the idea to invite Bill who's come to work on this deal to come and live with their family America He didn't say, come over and have soup on Thursday. He said, we want you to come and live with us. Bill's got a wife called Lois up in New York. Bill's got this deal he's trying to put together. And Bill says yes. And for that summer he stayed with them. But first she asked him was it a miracle? And he said yes, it was a miracle. He had other things that he could be doing. and that's the beginning of Alcoholics Anonymous do you believe that Bill was sent to Akron to take over a company or do you believe he was sent there to meet Dr. Bob which one of them worked then obviously God's will was for him to meet Doctor Bob I don't think you get a God story bigger than that and the foundation of this program was born these two men From a business standpoint, the trip came off badly. It sure did. Had he been successful in his enterprise, he would have been set on his feet financially, which at that time seemed vitally important. But his venture wound up in lawsuits and bogged down completely. The proceeding was shot through with much hard feelings and controversy. No room for that in AA. no room for that here bitterly discouraged he found himself in a strange place distressed and almost broke still physically weak and sober but a few months he saw that his predicament was dangerous he wanted so much to talk with someone but whom one dismal afternoon he faced the hotel lobby wondering how his bill was to be paid fear at one end of the room stood a glass-covered directory of local churches. Down the lobby, a door opened into the attractive bar. He could see the gay crowd inside. In there he would find companionship and release. Unless he took some drinks, he might not have the courage to scrape up an acquaintance and would have a lonely weekend. Of course he couldn't drink, and why not sit hopefully at the table a bottle of ginger ale before him. After all, had he not been sober six months now, perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks. We have moved from the LaCasse water, solar water, and the mind now says no more than two drinks. We are in danger. Big danger, and that quick. And that's how it happens, that quick fear gripped him he was on thin ice again it was the oldest city's insanity the first drink with a shiver he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directive music and gaiety scattered still floated to him from the bar but what about his responsibilities his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well ah yes I've got responsibility for it those other alcoholics there must be many such in this town he was former clergyman came out to be Walter Tum his sanity returned by taking some action away from the drink his sanity returns no longer thought of as a three drink God selecting a church at random from the directory he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver his call to the clergyman led him presently to a certain resident of that town Henrietta Stiveling although then from Stivelling to Bob we're going to talk about Bob here to a certain resident of that town who though formerly able and respected was nearing the nadir of alcoholic despair. It was a usual situation, home in jeopardy, wife ill, children distracted, bills and arrears standing damaged. He had a desperate desire to stop. Sometimes when people come to AA, we look at their cars they're driving and we call those alcoholic bumps. There's your car just all beat up. That's it, Whiskey Wrinkles, there you go, good name. but saw no way out for he had earnestly tried many avenues to escape. Painfully aware of being somehow abnormal, the man did not fully realize what it meant to be alcoholic. Down to Bob, it says, this refers to Bill's first visit with Dr. Bob. These men later became co-founders of AA. Bill's story opens the text of this book. Dr. Bobby has the story section. When a friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of willpower he might muster could stop his drinking for long a spiritual experience he conceded was absolutely necessary but the price seemed high it is high upon the basis suggested 4 through 9 spiritual experience I have a disease that is so bad that it requires a spiritual solution and the price is high because it means that you're going to get humbled means ego smashing at death Bill talks about he told how he lived in constant worry about those who might find out about his alcoholism he had of course the familiar alcoholic obsession that few knew of his drinking why he urged should he lose the remainder of his business only to bring still more suffering to his family and by foolishly omitting his plight to people from whom he made his livelihood. He would do anything he said but that. Dangerous business. He wouldn't make his ninth step of men and so he drank again. He went out and made his ninth seven minutes and never took another drink for fifteen years. He was called the Prince of the Twelve Steppers. In that 15 years, mostly the first 10, he worked with 5,000 drunks. Hospitalized them, took care of them, no charge, and sponsored them. Wilson says he had a 60% rate of recovery, which meant that 3,000 of those five recovered and many later on were recovered. That is a piece of work. I'm not even close. People look at me today, oh, how could you sponsor us? I'm just not even close to that. It's a tremendous piece of work. Being intrigued, I will never say in AA, never anything but that. I will not that's my ego talking. I'll never do that. I've learned better. Being intrigued I do make deals with God now and then under pressure. Which is about as foolish as you can get. Being intrigued to ever, he invited our friends to his home. Sometimes later and just as he thought he was getting control of his liquor situation, he wanted a roaring bender. For him, this was the spree that ended all sprees. He saw that he could, that he would have to face his problems squarely that God might give him mastery. I can't cheat God. It's not between you and your sponsor. It's now between you in the fellowship of AA. This is not between you. This is between you and God. If you figure out a way to cheat, God let me know right away. I take my card and call me. I may want to join you. One morning he took the bull by the horns and set out to tell what he had feared for his trouble had been. He's going out to do his nine-step work now. He found himself surprisingly well received and learned that many knew of his drinking. somebody asked me about anonymity I said I didn't care nothing about it when I was drunk you know stepping into his car he made the rounds of people he had hurt he trembled as he went about for this might mean ruin particularly for a person in his line of business doctor he died from cancer with a colon that's what he was a proctologist at midnight he came home exhausted but very happy he has not had a drink since so when you're working with people and they're having problems and they've worked some steps you need to find out where they are in the steps of what they haven't done it's about what they have not what they've done I guarantee you you'll find it somewhere they're not sponsoring they're doing this some people want to substitute sponsoring for being a delegate that's what our book says he's not had a drink since we shall see he now means a great deal to this community and the major liability of 30 years of hard drinking has been prepared him for. But life was not easy for the two friends plenty of difficulties presented themselves both saw that they must keep spiritually active. One day they called upon the head nurse of a local hospital to explain their need her name was Hawes A-K-A-S Mrs. Hawes and inquired that she had a first-class alcoholic prospect. His name was Bill Dotson, alcoholic number three. Not the first guy they ever tried with. There was much talk about the mental state preceding the first drink. They're going to tell you to tell them about the doctor's opinion as part of your story. Yes, that's me, said the sick man, the very image. You fellas know your stuff all right. But I don't see what good it'll do. You fellows are somebody. I was once, but I'm nobody now. From what you tell me, I know more than ever I can't stop. At this, both the visitors burst into laughter. Why? Because they'd been there. They'd been exactly where he'd been. Damn little to laugh about that I can see. He bet it's not very funny to him. Two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they had carried out, 1 through 12. No pussyfooting around here. Give it to them straight from the shoulder. They'll make their choice. He was interrupted. He interrupted. I used to be strong for the church, but that won't fix it. I prayed to God on hangover morning and swore that I'd never touch another drop and by 9 o'clock I was boiled as an owl. next day found the prospect more you see that prospect stuff more receptive he'd been thinking it over maybe you're right he said God ought to be able to do anything then he added he sure didn't do much for me when I was trying to fight this booze racket alone on that third day the lawyer gave his life to the care and direction of his creator he took a third step three days in he's convinced and he said he was great horse down on the end got the lights on great horse down on the end got the lights on well the lights were on in here the jewel was his that's it and he said perfectly willing to do anything necessary his wife scarcely daring to be hopeful, though she had thought she saw something different about her husband already. The spiritual change was in place. He had begun to have a spiritual experience. That afternoon he put on his clothes and walked from the hospital a free man. He entered a political campaign making speeches, frequently men together in places of all sorts, often staying up all night. He lost the race by only a small narrow margin, but he had found God and in finding God he had found himself. Wow. Oh man. That was June of 1935. He never drank again. He too was to become a respected and useful member of his community. He had helped other men to recovery and a power at his church from which he had been long absent. He never learned to drive a car. so if you visit him he would take you around Akron on the bus I think that's really you're an educated man never learned to drive a car he worked his way through college but working at the rubber in the rubber industry makes kind of sense he's a poor boy so you see there were three alcoholics in that town who now felt that they had to give to others what had what they had found or be sunk. You're not keeping you if you don't go on and sponsor you're not keepin' your word of your third step. You're no keepin a third step contract with God. After several failures to find others, a fourth turned up. He came through an acquaintance who had heard the good news. He proved to be a devil make care young man whose parents could not make out whether he wanted to stop drinking or not. His name was Ernie Gilbreth. the story was called The Seven Month Slip you will marry Dr. Bob's daughter Sue they did not like that Dr. Bob had heard his inventory he's a lot older than her there is a great book today we have lots of books it's called Children of the Healer It will tell you all about that relationship. A lot of sadness in children over here. Drink it or not. Her life, she had a daughter. She had several children. The daughter was what you'd call movie star quality, I suppose. And by the time she's 22 years old, we suspect she's alcoholic. By the time he's 22, she will shoot her own child and shoot herself. murder suicide horrible Sue almost never got over that Ernie she says never did whether he wanted to stop drinking or not they were deeply religious people much shocked by their son's refusal to have anything to do with church he suffered horribly from his freeze but it seemed as if nothing could be done for him he consented however to go to the hospital where he occupied the very room recently vacated by the lawyer. Now he had three visitors. It was the custom in those days when a man was hospitalized that the fellowship would visit him, each person in that hospital. After a bit, he said, the way you fellows put this spiritual business stuff makes sense. I'm ready to do business. We call that a third set of the suit. I guess the old folks were right after all So one more was added to the fellowship. All this time, our friend of the hotel lobby incident, Bill Wilson, remained in town. In that town, he was there three months. He now returned home, leaving behind the first acquaintance, Dr. Bob. The lawyer, Bill Dotson. And the devil-made carrot chap, Ernie Gilbert. Ernie will not say so we'll go out after the 1950 convention and never come back these men have found something brand new in life though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober I think they're telling you something that motive became secondary it was to transcend by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others altruistic behavior they shared their homes their slender resources they gladly devoted their spare hours to fellow sufferers everybody in Akron according to Smith Jr. kept alcoholics in their homes while they were being treated or waiting to be treated in the hospital and there in their home some guys stayed as long as ten months and they didn't charge but other homes did charge some but all kept people in their houses Akron was a Mecca. When people found out that there was a doctor, particularly a doctor in Akron that had a cure for alcoholism, people showed up. I'm telling you, they just showed up in the middle of the night. They were brought by loving and sometimes not so loving relatives, usually. There's the address, Ardmore. Get out, idiot. Don't come back here sober. see you guys knock on the door night and day I'm telling you it's really something else they'll be willing by day or night to place a new man in the hospital and visit him afterwards they had to have a plan for payment $75 the guy who had gone through and got sober put up the $75 for his sponsor you had to be sponsored into the hospital the sponsor had to bring you and pick you up and pay your $75 and you had to pay the $75 for the next chapter. Amazing, amazing. And visit him afterwards. They grew in numbers. They experienced a few distressing failures. But in those cases they made an effort to bring the man's family into a spiritual way of living. That's what we've been talking about. The wives, family afterwards. Mentioned in the 12-step work from chapter 7. All of this, all about the whole thing, bringing them in. thus relieving much worry and suffering eighteen months a year and six months later these three had succeeded with seven more we got ten alcoholics and accidents over ten seeing much of each other scarce an evening passed as someone's home did not suffer little gilding of men and women happy in their release and constantly thinking how they might present to discovery to some newcomer do you pray about newcomers? Do you ever say to God, before I walk up and introduce myself, let me say the right thing here?