The Promises – Janine W. – 2012

About This Speaker Tape

Janine, a New Y. with a lifelong battle against fear and a history of 'wilding out,' recounts a childhood marked by early exposure to alcohol and a teenage years spent in group homes and family court. She describes a career as a stockbroker on Wall S. where she lived a double life, masking her blackout drunks and professional instability with a facade of normalcy

. After a devastating relapse involving a 'scotch on creme brulee' incident and a total collapse of her finances and relationships, she found a rigorous path to sobriety. Janine details the grit of her early step work, the pain of reconciling with her father's death, and the shift from a self-centered existence to one of service and faith.

Her narrative is punctuated by a persistent fear of flying and a newfound courage found in activities like ziplining, symbolizing her ongoing effort to stay in the 'now' with her Higher Power.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and gratitude for the Promises in Paradise Convention.
• 4:30 Childhood memories: gin on the gums and hot toddies with scotch.
• 8:15 Teenage alcoholism and the 'person in need of supervision' (PINS) petition.
• 13:40 Wall Street career and the first company Christmas party blackout.
• 18:20 Discussion of the 'phenomenon of craving' and the failure of mental defenses.
• 25:10 The 'scotch on creme brulee' relapse and the 'lipstick test' in the bathroom.
• 30:15 Step 4: The 'long talk' and the realization of self-centered fear.
• 35:40 Step 9: Making amends and the guilt over her father's death.
• 41:10 The experience of supporting a partner through brain cancer while sober.
• 45:00 Step 11: Meditation and the struggle with a fear of flying.