The Inventory as a Tool to Get into the Now – Teresa F.

About This Speaker Tape

Woodstock West 2020 Conference - 2020

Teresa F. maps out the brutal necessity of the Fourth and Fifth Steps framing the inventory not as a chore but as a survival tool for the 'cunning baffling and powerful' nature of alcoholism. She uses a visceral analogy of her brother's battle with hemolymic anemia—a rogue antibody that attacks the body—to describe how the disease infiltrates the spirit. Teresa F. describes her life as a constant act of 'house cleaning,' detailing the split-second inventories she performs while caregiving for her mother and navigating high-tension staff meetings. She dismantles the illusion of being the CEO of 'Teresa F. Incorporated,' admitting that without a Higher Power and a rigorous inventory she is either living in her defects or in a state of total collapse. The narrative culminates in a terrifying near-relapse triggered by the suppressed grief of her father's death which she only resolved through the guidance of an old-timer.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Teresa F. opens by expressing her gratitude for the Woodstock conference and her sobriety.
• 4:15 Deep dive into the definitions of 'cunning, baffling, and powerful' as they relate to the alcoholic mind.
• 7:30 Analogy: Comparing alcoholism to her brother's illness (hemolymic anemia).
• 12:10 Teresa F. describes the 'bondage of self' and the feeling of being 'different' from normal people.
• 16:45 Concrete example: Using the Fourth Step inventory in real-time while caregiving for her mother.
• 22:10 Discussion on the 'CEO of Teresa F. Incorporated' and the need for a spiritual overhaul.
• 28:30 Teresa F. explains the importance of being in the 'now' and the danger of the 'fourth dimension' of time.
• 33:15 Laughter: Teresa F. discusses doing inventories during board meetings while men belittle her.
• 38:40 Story: A sudden, demonic obsession to drink at 2 AM and the intervention of Larry T.
• 43:10 The realization that she swept her father's death under the rug, leading to the obsession.
• 46:50 Closing: The experience of being present for her father's final breath through the tools of the program.