The Highest Power for the Sickest Alcoholic – Jeannie M.

About This Speaker Tape

Women in Recovery - 2022

Jeannie M. maps out a recovery that is far from a straight line describing it as a zig-zag of double-digit sobriety followed by a devastating three-year spree. She dismantles the illusion of the 'plastic smile,' explaining how she focused on the fellowship—bringing cookies and donuts to meetings—while neglecting the actual spiritual work. Jeannie describes the internal agony of early sobriety as 'rubbing tinfoil together whilst scratching a chalkboard,' a state of emotional bankruptcy that eventually led her back to the bottle. She traces her path from a childhood of emotional silence in San Francisco to a near-fatal relapse in Pennsylvania eventually finding a lifeline through the 12 Steps and a full-circle relationship with her first sponsee Janet J. who helped pull her back from the brink.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Jeannie M. opens with gratitude and discusses the various 'hats' of service in the fellowship.
• 4:30 Laughter: Jeannie discusses the historical lack of space for women in the early Big Book.
• 6:15 Jeannie leads the room in the 11th Step prayer and the Prayer of St. Francis.
• 12:40 Jeannie describes the 'tinfoil rubbing together' feeling of being dry but not recovered.
• 18:20 Jeannie recounts her 'moderate drinking' years and the transition from 'the cucumber to the pickle'.
• 24:10 The Starbucks 'calendar of events' and the attempt to control the uncontrollable.
• 31:00 Jeannie discusses the psychic change in her ex, Josh J., and the realization that she needed the 12 Steps.
• 36:45 The story of sponsoring Janet J. and the concept of sponsoring someone 'sicker than you'.
• 43:10 Jeannie warns about the return of the ego during her ten years of sobriety.
• 51:20 Jeannie describes her most recent near-fatal relapse and the ambulance ride to the hospital.
• 55:00 Discussion of Step 10 and the necessity of keeping the spiritual channel clear.
• 58:30 The full-circle moment: Janet J. 12-steps Jeannie and becomes her sponsor.