The Fourth Step Isn’t Finished Until Your Own Name Is in the Resentment Column – Jim P.

About This Speaker Tape

Jim tells his story at the Alco-An Club in Orlando, sober since February 18, 2002. Born in 1954 to a military family, he had his first drink at 11 at his sister's wedding reception — gulping champagne behind the fountain, spinning, vomiting, and waking up already in love with alcohol. His drinking escalated alongside burglary, juvenile detention, and a run from Florida to California after stealing his father's .45 and jumping bail. He contracted hepatitis C in a military hospital, and at 18 a judge sentenced him to 52 years at Raiford before reducing it to 18 months on a chain gang, where he cooked buck wine in the kitchen from yeast, sugar, syrup and rotten grapefruit.

He married in 1978, had a son Forrest in 1994 after three lost babies, and drank every night after 5 o'clock — never one drink, always to oblivion. Mixing Percodan stolen from his sister with alcohol, he urinated in the marital bed three times. His wife bought a $20 plastic mattress cover, then filed for divorce. He walked into AA on October 18, 1998 after a friend burned himself alive in a car in Volusia County, but spent four-plus years in and out, sponsored by another sick man — himself named Jim — drinking every 60 to 90 days.

The turn came when old-man Leo told him to go home and drink arsenic, and when Dan dragged him through a crowd to meet Joe at a speaker meeting. Jim and Joe traded business cards and discovered they worked for the same company. One final relapse — waking face-down on his kitchen tile with half a gallon gone — pushed him to call Joe. They worked steps one through three over barbecue in two hours, and Joe caught Jim leaving his own name off his fourth-step inventory.

Four years sober, Jim credits his son, his home group, and the hula-hoop philosophy a sponsor taught him: everything inside the hoop belongs to him and Higher Power, everything outside is none of his business. He buried eight drinking friends who never made it to the rooms, and closes by telling newcomers the Big Book is a blueprint and that a sick person cannot sponsor a sick person well.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Jim introduces himself, sobriety date February 18, 2002, says he walked in October 18, 1998
• 3:00 First drink at 11 at his sister's wedding — gulping champagne behind the fountain until the room spun
• 8:00 Juvenile detention on Michigan Street; learning burglary from other kids to fund his drinking
• 12:00 Stealing his father's .45, jumping bail, catching hepatitis C in California
• 16:00 The 52-year Raiford sentence reduced to 18 months on the prison farm chain gang
• 20:00 Cooking buck wine in the prison kitchen and selling it for 50 cents a cup
• 25:00 Marriage in Mississippi 1978, Percodan mixed with alcohol, wetting the bed three times
• 32:00 Friend's suicide by burning car in Volusia County; Jim promises Higher Power he'll go to one AA meeting
• 38:00 Old-man Leo tells Jim to go home and drink arsenic — first day without a drink in 30 years
• 44:00 Meeting Joe at a speaker meeting, trading business cards and finding out they work at the same company
• 50:00 Working steps one through three over barbecue; Joe catches Jim leaving himself off his fourth-step inventory
• 58:00 The hula-hoop philosophy; closing on hope, the Big Book as blueprint, and burying eight friends who never made it