The Disease of More – Stevie B.

About This Speaker Tape

12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous - 2011

A childhood in Long Island suburbs felt safe and loving but Stevie B. describes a 'disease of more' that drove him from a twelve-year-old's misuse of Tylenol with codeine to a life of wreckage. He recounts the absolute farce of his first treatment stay where he played the 'happy joyous and free' part to manipulate counselors for a four-hour pass only to drive straight into the path of his super alcohol dealer during rush hour on I-95. After a relapse that left him drinking in a closet on January 2nd he found a way out through the Third Step prayer and a sponsor who was 'hard and mean.' He argues that sobriety without surrender is just a state of being exhausted and that the only way to stop running into brick walls is to finally get out of the driver's seat.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening prayer and introduction as a member of the West Side Men's Group.
• 4:15 Discussion of the 'disease of more' and the obsession with wanting more of everything.
• 8:30 Stevie B. discusses his resistance to religion and the 'why' of Step 3.
• 13:45 Laughter: The 'spiritual MRI' and how alcoholics react to the word 'no'.
• 17:20 The story of the four-hour pass and the encounter with the super alcohol dealer on I-95.
• 22:10 The 'closet' relapse on January 2nd and the limits of shame and remorse.
• 26:40 Step 3: Reciting the Third Step prayer in the first person.
• 31:15 Analysis of Big Book pages 62, 63, 86, 87, and 88.
• 35:50 The 'drunk from Wisconsin' prayer for removing bad thoughts.
• 38:10 Closing thoughts on the difference between being sober and being exhausted.