The Cunning Baffling Powerfulness of the Alcoholic Ego – Scott T.

About This Speaker Tape

East Coast Convention - 1997

A childhood spent in the projects of Boston and Quincy marked by a father who was a 'tornado roaring through the lives of others,' set the stage for Scott T.'s own wreckage. He describes a life of defiance fighting cops in blackouts and a series of failed attempts at sobriety through 'marijuana maintenance' and religious performance. The narrative peaks with a harrowing leap from the Bourne Bridge in Cape Cod and a later suicide attempt involving a .25 automatic. After years of 'mental masturbation' as a circuit speaker and a subsequent collapse into arrogance Scott finds a gritty final surrender in Chino State Prison. He moves from being a 'con artist' to a man who finally reads the Big Book works the steps in order and learns to look the man in the glass in the eye without cheating.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Meeting opening and preamble by Ramona.
• 10:15 Scott T. describes his father as a 'tornado' and the childhood poverty of powdered milk and blocks of cheese.
• 18:40 Laughter: Scott discusses the 'interview' process for newcomers in 1960s Boston AA.
• 26:10 Discussion of the 'spiritual malady' and the religious dogma of his youth.
• 35:20 Scott recounts his time in 'Teen Challenge' and acting out spiritual experiences in revivals.
• 46:15 The detailed account of the suicide attempt at the Bourne Bridge.
• 58:30 Scott describes his 'human kennel' experience in the California state penitentiary.
• 1:05:10 Mention of Chapter 5 ('How It Works') and the impact of reading the Big Book in prison.
• 1:18:45 Scott discusses the 'mental masturbation' and arrogance that led to his second relapse.
• 1:32:10 The second suicide attempt with a .25 automatic and the subsequent legal battle.
• 1:45:20 Reflection on the 'man in the glass' and the importance of rigorous honesty.
• 1:52:00 Closing prayer: The Lord's Prayer.