The Call That Started Alcoholics Anonymous – Ebby T.

bill's story in the big book it was a cold november day in 1934 when he was sitting at home congratulating himself that he had enough gin to last him for another 24 hours he received a telephone call from an old drinking buddy of his he invited him out to the house and he thought well that'll be fine i don't have to drink secretly now we can drink in the open but when this old drinking body of his came he was sober and he gave bill some ideas i believe that he had been in the oxford group and he gave bill some ideas that later when bill sobered up they began to put those ideas together and out of this great thing came a.a we have that man with us today that made that call on bill he now lives in dallas texas and we give you every my name is ebby oh camels again quick brand something my name is debbie and i'm certainly an alcoholic i'm going to try to give you a briefly a rundown on the event that preceded the time when this became this organization became known as alcoholics anonymous. Not as insofar as I saw them. As Ken had told you, it was in 1934 that I went to see Bill. I had been living in Vermont. We had a home up there. My family and my father and mother were dead and the house was vacant. The rest of the brothers were married and living elsewhere. And I was living there alone. I was alone with a lot of bats. We used to have some fish at night When I was drunk most of the time, I got into trouble with the law on two occasions. And one day as I was moping around the house, I'd been trying to paint it, but it got so I couldn't get up beyond the third rung of that ladder. But I gave that up as a bad job and I just backed him under the bottle again. when these two fellas dropped in to see me. And I'd known both of them, and I'd drunk with both of them. I don't think that you could call them really alcoholics, but they were heavy drinkers. Power crazy, both of them. And they'd had trouble in life. They'd lost their money, and they'd become ministering in the Oxford group. And they sat down and talked to me, and And they just talked fundamentals about God. They opened right up about it. Thought that Debbie Thatcher had been running his life long enough, and how about turn it over to a higher power? And many things they told me in the left literature and indoctrination I later got from the Oxford group. The thing that we see today in AA. various sayings and the principles and a lot of it is, I think, a great deal of it came from the Osher group. Well, I made a deal with a painter, a boss painter, and he sent me around a man and some equipment. I showed it up, and after about ten days the two of us painted the house. It was a pretty good-sized house with a lot to trim on it. And then as soon as that job was over I went right back to modeling and I got himself a little off the third time now it's taken down with the county street some 20 miles away on a Friday and I was told come back on Monday the judges are having a time of trial they have six trials Monday because there three times in one year being arrested instead of a mind is the man was a six-month sentence in the state prison. So of course he didn't want to give me that name. He happened to be the father of one of the men who came to see me. In the meantime, a third man had been around there and he appeared Monday when I went down for trial. So the guy here released me under my own recognizance because they had all cut and drive with this guy before him. He took me under his wing. I went back to the house, and we closed up the house and I went down to stay with him nearby a village. He had a summer home there. And we, I'd say, there were a couple of weeks we were around when I got some people off from New York and it was only about ten days after I got sober that I went around and spoke five times for one weekend. I don't know what I talked about. But I did feel that somehow a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. And when I was rid of the octopus, the alcohol, and I was for three years and seven months, but I slipped again later on. And as most of you know, I've had recurring trouble off and on. but after that weekend trip around I went to New York and I stayed for a month with one of the two men who came to see me first and then I went on a trip and I went to live in a mission which was run by Calvary Episcopal Church under Oxford Group principles there were 12 of us in there called the Brotherhood and I was one of the twelve to help run the place. And we had room for about 30 men to come in nightly, and we had a meeting every night, a regular religious mission meeting. And there, of course, I circulated around the day time. We didn't have a regular job. I circulate around. I went down to Wall Street, and then I found out that Bill was in trouble for drinking. I'd known Bill for a number of years, known him since about 1911. And in 1912 we went to school together up there in Vermont for one year. Bill and I had been fast friends because he married a girl that I'd know in all my life, Lois, his wife, for summer. It was the summer of the same time that my people were summering. And I had grown up with her And I saw Bill off and on, of course, for years afterwards We only got done together once And that's when he landed in Albany My hometown Called me up and I took him out And I happened to be playing around with some flyers At the time And we pulled out of the airport Sort of barnstorming It was a Saturday night And Bill was going on up to East Dorset And I got the brilliant idea Why not get a plane and go up with him until we landed the plane right there on the spot. And the next day, we got up there. At least we fell out of the plane. I certainly feel sorry for that pilot because he had two drives on his head, which was not much fun, let me hear. Well, I have a thought, but maybe Bill would be ready for something like the Oxford Group. I was only sober a little over a month, possibly six weeks. But sometimes I think we do most of our, some of our most effective work in the early stages. Our enthusiasm is on fire. And later on, I think sometimes we lose that enthusiasm, although we may be just as stable. But anyway, I got over to See, Bill, as you heard, I had a talk with him. He didn't sober up that day, but he walked, that night he walked the subway with me about one o'clock in the morning and he said, I don't know what you got, old boy, but he says, I want it. But he didn't sobre up for three or four days. And then he came over to the mission one night and he had a guy with him and it turned out to be a sailor he'd run into in a bar and they both were pretty drunk and Bill got up and made a talk he was going to go right up on the platform and the superintendent said get him down get him done I said go ahead let him talk I'll see what he's up to and I could tell even though Bill was drinking that something was working on him all right and a few days later he went to town hospital sobered himself up and he hadn't had a drink since and Bill and I soldier with each other. I kind of rode hurry on him for a while. Took him around to officer group meetings and he attended them, and later on he spoke. And if anybody could tell me one of our months drifted away from the exact date when we drifted way from the officer group and phoned out all these numbers, I'd like to meet that man because Bill and I don't know. It is very hard the fridge. There's a date back there. None of us ever kept any records. And you go back 25 years, and you can't be accurate on anything. I know since I left New York, Bill wrote me a letter one time and asked me if I knew what we did the first Christmas because the grapevine wanted to store it. I can't tell. Lois can't sell. I don't know whether I went home to probably for Christmas or what they say to the Wilsons or what. So if you go back, probing back in your memory 25 years, it's pretty hard to make any accurate statements. You all know that Bill went through Akron and contacted Dr. Bob Smith and Bill and Dr. Bobson went ahead and formed a nucleus of what is now our first nine. Well, I fell by the wayside in April of 1937. I'm not going to attempt to say why. I think I can realize what it is, but it is awfully hard to put into words. But I've had trouble off and on all through the years. If I wanted to sit down, I can sum up the months that I've been sober. I can probably account for 16 or 17 years of sobriety out of the last 25. But they're not all strung out enough consecutively. Since I've Been Here in Texas, and I've BEEN in Texas... At first, I had 13 months when I first came. Then I got off the beam, and away I went. And, uh, I didn't mean to get too bad, Bill. Thank you. Bill Decker, the sheriff. I'm in the county jail. The city jail. I work for the city, the county, the city. Not on the internet. I mean, no mission at all. They'd get out of me, pick me up again, and back I'd go. Believe me, you can't look cross-eyed at a drink in Dallas. You'd get in the jail. And I haven't had anything that makes sense. It's been six years, seven or eight months. But somebody here last night, I won't say who it was, told me the idea that so much is said and done and written for the new man but very little for the person who has trouble off and on, especially for the old greybirds or bleeding dickens or whatever you want to call them. Certainly I can qualify to talk on that thing, but I don't know if I can give you any information that's valuable. I sometimes think that the reason we stay drunk so long, people who have had a long record of sobriety and then fall off, is first our pride at work. i think that's one of the biggest things we're not so sorry that we hurt somebody or that but we are sorry that that wonderful record that we have is gone and i think it just sort of draws us to believe that we can't get up and be the little bit of a big operator we've been that's just one third i mean second of course is the fact that when you started one of those Those things, that little old bell that's been still in me. And all it will be, I guess, till I die. So now that you have started this thing, you might just as well make a going out of it. And that's exactly what you do, I believe. You keep it up. Honey? As you know, physically, as the years go on, when you've had a layoff of ten years, you're going to have one awful time getting back in shape again. There's no question about that I don't have trouble daily or every few days The way some people say they do About taking a drink Or wanting to take a drink It does come back once in a while Sometimes in the springtime Or in the fall I don' t know if it's a change of season You got to blame it on something You know, as old Omar Khayyam said, don't fill the cup and in the fire of spring you win a garment of repentance swing. And I always used to believe it, man. It should come spring and I hadn't had a... If I'd been on the wagon a few months, I'd have my spring drunk. So look at that. But I don't know just what makes us fall off the wagon after we drink again after we have been sober for a number of years. It is undoubtedly due to wrong thinking, and that wrong thinking can sneak in sometimes and get so set in your mind that you don't recognize it. I know that I've had a number o' drugs that I can look back on now and know that if I was drunk mentally a long time before I took a drink. And that, that comes on me every once in a while. I desire the first thing I know I'm thinking along the lines of taking a drink. And so far I say for five years and eight months I've been able to think the thing through and know exactly what's going to happen. I can almost let go through a bunch of doors. You go through one door and another door and each one getting worse all the time. more terror and more trouble and more fears you wind up in the same old spot and I also know that I could just be the end bye and that is probably one thing that holds me back I don't know the discouragement when things are not breaking for you a man is liable to get lose his faith for the time being and reach for a drink. But there's one thing sure. I can't say that you will get the breaks if you sober up. No man can say that. Sometimes nobody does get the good breaks. But certainly you will not be able to take advantage of them if you're drunk. But if you are sober, and they do come along, then you are able to handle them according to your own ability. But not if you're drinking I'd like to just briefly I'm not a long-winded speaker I never was I'd just briefly like to tell you How I got to Texas One of these same men Came to see me The Oxford group One of the first two Had been living in Paris For some years And there was a man from New York Charlie Milton was over there on business and pleasure combined. And he went to a small A&A meeting in Paris, France one night and ran into this fellow, and this fellow said, how's old Levy doing? Well, he said, I don't know, Levy. From what I hear, he's not doing it. He just ain't doing it at all. So he said... Well, and he said he's licked me, like I said before, because I know that. He says the bunch are down on him, whether that's right or not. He says he doesn't enter into it, they are, and they're not trying to help him in any way. And he says that he's under a blanket of despair down there, and see if you can't do something when you go back to get him out of New York. And the guy said he would, and those were not mere words. I was drinking at the time, and I'd drop into the AA intergroup on Lexington Avenue every once in a while, sometimes just to make a touch. I'll be perfectly honest. Other times, just to sit down and get my whim and figure out where I was going for the day. And I was trying to get back. I was kind of trying to get back to me, but I just didn't have any reason for living. Any reason, anything to keep me going. And one of the girls, Hazel Wright, she was then secretary, she's now in the central office. general service said to me she says my golly i think i know somebody can help you every he's got something for you she went to the phone call this guy and he says hold on there i'll be down so i came down at five o'clock in the first word he said what do you drink well i said i've been drinking over here i'm third half and i said let's go and of course those are pleasant words and feeling the way i was and we went over there he bought me a couple of whiskeys and he sat down on the table and And he said, how'd you like to go to Texas? And Texas was far less than I thought at that time. I assure you. So he said... Well, he says... You're not going to do any good here in New York. You're just going to die eventually. He said, why'd you go to Texel? I mean, all these... They've got their water down there. The cattle are dying. Everything's wrong. There's not even any clothes or brogue. Well, and he said we can fix up that a minute. Well, I said, I don't know. Well, he said, here's $5. He said, I'll see you tomorrow at the same time. He saw me tomorrow at that time. I'd given it some thought, but I guess I was still thinking more about getting the $5 together the next night. Which I did. I got out of the same story. And that was Thursday night. And he said now, no more. He said but I'll be at my apartment. He gave me the number and the phone. And if you want to make up your mind to go to Texas, he says we can do it. So I didn't see him Friday night. I nursed that five dollars long and had enough to eat and enough to sleep. Flop they call it. But I began to think that maybe that's the wiser thing to do is to get out of New York. Might as well go down there to the streets of New york. streets of New York, so I wanted around that Saturday morning and said, all right, let's get cleaned up. And he took me up to his apartment and sent the suit out and got it pressed and gave me some clean underwear and got some shirts and bought some shirts. He called up Dallas and got only Lancaster and only said, send me Yankee, son of a bitch guy. I know that's what he said because only he's got a booming voice and I was right alongside So Sunday night, Charlie loaded me on the nonstop plane for Dallas. And I'm telling you, I didn't have a drink. And I learned afterwards that he had a pint of whiskey in his delivery. I told him later on, I've got to go back and do the whole thing all over again. It wasn't fair. Well, anyway, I landed in Dallas, and I was pretty badly shaken because I was bad cheer physically. I run way down. If you share it with me, he's sorry. And that's been a great help to me. And for a long time, I really didn't realize that I was in Texas. I had hallucinations all over the place for two or three weeks. It was really rough. I think there was another guy that came up and saw me down in the clinic that I had at that time. And I really didn't know myself who I was going to make it. I was afraid of the old noggin that really snapped. But with time and patience, I came out of it. And I said to me, I'm grateful. I must express my appreciation for the people down there who were patient with me in Dallas, and for Charlie Milton, who really did something. He acted. He did it. He didn't talk if he really did it but he came to see me and it cost him money to send me down and he went ahead and did it and I think, well, I've tried to prove that he didn't do it in vain. I know that I probably would have died within six months in New York in that situation or been committed somewhere forever knowing I would get out if I hadn't come down here and I'm grateful to those people who did it and to all you people here, I certainly enjoyed coming up here this weekend enjoyed the party last night it was a lot of fun excellent food too by the way I think that's about all I can say. Thank you. Thank you, Abby. Well, Abby may have had some difficulties with this program, but A.A. still owes him a big debt of gratitude. I heard Bill Wilson say that in St. Louis at the 20th anniversary five years ago this coming July, that if Abby hadn't have called on him that cold day in November, There might not have been any AA today because the idea wouldn't have come from the way it worked out at that particular time. So we still owe Evie an awful lot. The last speaker we have on our program today also comes from Dallas, Texas. He just finished serving four years on the General Service Board of AA. That's the service board in New York. And prior to that, he was General Service Representative for the state of Texas for two years. I've had the privilege of visiting with him since yesterday morning about 11 o'clock. With he and Abby both, I know that his AA is good and it's solid. And I know we're going to get a good message from him. He can share it. There's still some seats down here if you're drunk and don't want to stay in. I'm not going to do it all like I did the other day. I got up to a place like this, and I said, can you hear back there? And that guy said, yeah. And the joker sitting down here, he jumped up and said, let me swap places with you. I do want to thank you for being asked to be on this program. And it's necessary that I remind myself that Alcoholics Anonymous does not need me, but that i need a more than i ever did in all my life because as i stand here today i have more to lose than i never had before in all of my life it's necessary that i remind myself that i'm not cured and i'm only one little drink from being the stupidest stinkiness nastiest drunkest you've ever smelled. The chairman was so nice, but he didn't tell you that I'm a drunkard. And through trying to follow the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and with the help of God and the group of people like yourself, that I haven't had a drink of any kind of alcoholic beverage or goofballs of any time in 11 days and three months and 14 years at 4 30 this afternoon for the grace of god and nothing that i have ever done or ever will be able to do it's truly been a gift and it just been through people like yourself that has made this possible but that truly doesn't have anything to do with our being here today any length of time because you know old groups never die they just smell that away and when they asked me to be here today i i knew that i was moving out of those old texas bush leagues because kansas city as i understand it is in the big leagues now and i told every when we come up here i said you know we want to be careful we don't want to be too good up there they'll trade us to them damn yankees Well, we're all awfully happy to be here this beautiful sunny afternoon. I understand this is the first time you've seen the sun in Kansas City in so long. And it seems like the old Kansas City drunk often said to his wife as he sat down to dine, I don't give a damn where this snow goes. I hope it don't get into my wine. Said they washed the cellars more than they did anything else when you all were snowbound for so long up here. And just to be honest with you, I'm shaking like two men right now. I don' t know how come, but when I get up before a group of people like this, why, my stomach just starts to go in all directions and I'm just standing here holding on. So there's not a crap game going on up here. It's my knees that are really shaking, as you hear. Because you know the true correct definition of frustration is exactly like I feel. And real frustration is the same as a sterile rabbit, if you know what I mean. It finally dawned on her. Yeah, old Flaherty just caught that one. In fact, I'm just as nervous as the Mexican peon that didn't have a patio to pace in. If you're tongue-tied, don't try that one! But truly, you know, we're hundreds and hundreds of miles from home, But Ebby and I really, truly believe that we have more friends right here this afternoon than all of our 20 years drinking experience or living the life of a drunkard. And we haven't been in Kansas City but two days. But there is something in this room this afternoon between total strangers that brings you and me closer together than any bond i don't know what it is whether the attraction for one drunk it has another or the love of one drunk or or what this mutual feeling exists in the air in every meeting that you and we have ever been to people write about it they talk about it we can't see it but it's here so we feel as if it's home and we're awful glad to be here because just a few short years ago on sunday i was living in a tin shack on the trinity river at home two colored families lived there with me and i was a derelict and i mustn't forget what i was drinking between squad cars late at night we have drive-in pig stains And they sacked the beer cases in the rear. And I had a gunny sack for ten or twelve old empty beer bottles. And I can still see that old dirty cotton that I used for supper. And after they closed, like an animal, I went around behind and poured the drapes or whatever was left in every bottle until i got my toe sack full of what i lived on a man with a college education and within walking distance with one of the finest homes and wife and family in the city of doubt a derelict so i mustn't forget to thank god in you that the day I didn't have to do that and I could come and be with you but I don't ever get like that old boy they were talking at a meeting and he got off on the spiritual side of the program and he was just giving them this goddess and got that after everybody that's ended up want to go to heaven and everybody in and the room got all worked up except one old drunk over there. And he just sat still, and so he pointed him out, and he asked him, he says, Frank, don't you want to go to God? See God, go to heaven? He said, sure I do. He said why didn't you stand up? He said I thought you was trying to get up a carload to go this afternoon. I'd rather be here if it's all the same with you. So we all thank him, and I'd just rather be here and be with you drunk. And truly, I have to do everything the hard way, and instead of trying to talk on one subject this afternoon real good, I want to try to talk On Two, and you know neither one of them will be any good. But the last half of this talk is going to be good because it's about me, And I'm not to talk about me, but I would like to say a few words about you and Alcoholics Anonymous. As Ken told you, the groups in Texas were nice enough to choose me to be a member of the Board of Trustees to AlcoholicsAnonymous General Service Headquarters in New York. And I was truly your trustee. And by using the General Service Third Legacy plan, the meeting was held in Brownwood on September 18, 1954. And that was the day that I was chosen to be your trustee. There were over 165 groups from the state of Texas represented at that Sunday afternoon meeting. There was no nominations from the floor, no politicking, a list of people that said that they would like to serve as trustees from the State of Texas. Name was on a blackboard, no talks of any kind were given, and by ballotin' a two-thirds majority was necessary, and I was chosen as your servant to serve for you as a trustee the board of alcoholics anonymous and i know that in the mind of each and every one of you you have a definition of what is a trustee i'd like to say that it's not a gift that you can do anything that you want to with but it is a trust that is placed in the hands of a person