The Alcoholic Mind and the Inability to Reason – Bart R.

About This Speaker Tape

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A New York accent in the Arizona desert Bart R. doesn't believe in sobriety—he believes in recovery. He spent his childhood as a 'little punk' drinking with older men in Brooklyn eventually cycling through institutions and shelters where he learned to treat therapists with contempt. After years of chronic relapse and a marriage to a detox nurse that failed spectacularly Bart hit a wall of despair in 1995. He describes a volatile relationship with his sponsor Eric a man with a 'horrendous personality' and a massive ego who forced Bart to read the first 164 pages of the Big Book. Through a rigorous process of inventories and amends—including a chance encounter with his ex-wife's son in a bank line—Bart found a way of life that replaced the mental obsession. He closes with the heavy reality of caring for his dying father a self-centered man who never knew how to be a parent but whom Bart learned to love through the lens of the program.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bart R. opens by distinguishing between being 'in recovery' and being 'recovered'.
• 10:15 Childhood memories of drinking with older men in Brooklyn and failing fifth grade.
• 16:40 The 'frothly emotional appeal' of his mother crying at the door while he physically threw her away to go drink.
• 22:10 The first day of work for his father's business, ruined by a bottle of Jack Daniels.
• 31:50 Laughter: The story of sneaking out of his first AA meeting because he was terrified of reading out loud.
• 38:20 The 'dry drunk' period and the sudden decision to leave his wife and daughter.
• 45:10 The confrontation with his sponsor, Eric, and the insistence on reading the first 164 pages of the Big Book.
• 52:30 Discussion of the Second and Third Steps and the 'imaginary' nature of a Higher Power.
• 58:15 The process of the Fourth Step and the fear inventory.
• 1:05:20 Ninth Step experiences: making amends to a former girlfriend and his ex-wife's son.
• 1:15:40 The story of sponsoring a tattooed man from the Creedmoor Rehab.
• 1:32:10 The final days of his father's life and the lesson of being a son.