Steps 4 and 5 – Step-Tember to Remember Workshop – Part 5 of 7 – 2025 – Chris S.

About This Speaker Tape

Step-Tember To Remember Workshop - 2025

A 1976 Ford Granada with no quarter panels serves as the backdrop for Chris S.'s account of a life spent in the grip of a 'merciless obsession.' He describes the physical wreckage of his drinking—vomiting calisthenics and the 'hundred dollar Quaalude car'—and the mental trap of the morning promise that always dissolved by lunchtime. Chris focuses on the drastic nature of the 12 Steps arguing that the moral inventory is not a therapeutic exercise but a survival mechanism. He details his history of 'resenting himself out of' various home groups from the 'hoity-toit' crowds in Baskin Ridge to the 'wild west' of artists before finding a path through the Joe H. tapes. He frames the Fourth and Fifth Steps as the only way to dismantle the 'toxic self-consciousness' and anxiety that otherwise make the fellowship feel like a gauntlet of judgment.

Topics

Timestamps

• 2:15 Chris describes the 'vomiting calisthenics' and the physical state of his drinking days.
• 6:40 Discussion on the 'obsession of the mind' and the physical allergy of the body.
• 12:10 Chris explains the 'toxic experience of self-consciousness' and the need for an action program.
• 16:50 Analysis of the Big Book's resentment inventory and the case of Mr. B.
• 21:30 Laughter: Story about the 'Morristown Friday night group' and isolating in the back.
• 26:10 Chris discusses discovering the Joe H. tapes and their impact on his step work.
• 31:40 The 'bondage of self' and reframing fear as anxiety.
• 36:20 The 'gauntlet' of entering a church basement meeting while plagued by anxiety.
• 41:10 The 'help others' books vs. self-help books conversation with Phil P.
• 46:50 Reflections on the 'sex inventory' and the shift in perception toward women.
• 52:10 The spiritual relief of the Fifth Step and breaking the facade of secrets.
• 56:40 The 'Returning Home' exercise in Step Five and the importance of thoroughness.