Step Three and the Decision – Workshop: Expanding Higher Power Consciousness – Part 2 of 5 – John J.

this is our second meeting of an eight-part series called expanding god's consciousness so let me start off by saying i'm an alcoholic a member of a group called agape that's from hamilton ontario canada and my name is john let me just share what what a joy it is to be with you this evening. It really is. I'm just excited to be here. I look forward and I'm excited to see how the Spirit will move us tonight. It's always great for me to witness and to hear and have people respond in their recovery and what they're discovering for the first time, maybe for the first time. Maybe in a different way. And maybe just reliving our old experiences back again with newness and vigor. One of the things you can tell about love is that it has zest, it has life in it, and you'll hear from people all over AA that has that zest, that zest for the program, and hopefully I could display that with you this evening. last monday we opened up our powerlessness to include restlessness irritability of discontent or in one word self-centeredness then we looked at developing a belief system and noticing the presence of god within us and around us in the midst and tonight we're going to be looking at the step three particularly as we really transition to a new way of living so as I already mentioned but I'll mention it to myself is that we created an Instagram account for everybody to join and Mickey's been so kind to put it in the chat column now what is the reason for it you know how often have i in my 50 years of sobriety i went to a meeting and got inspired by a speaker and went home and actually didn't do anything other than i was entertained you know my intention to come to alcoholics anonymous meeting was not only be inspired but to live a new way of life and how often very often i walked out without an action plan. So I made a habit some years ago that whenever I'm in a conversation like this, or whether I'm at a meeting, I walk away with one action that I'm going to take for the following week, because faith without works is dead. And we get inspired�we're being nudged by the Spirit, if you believe that. We're being nudged. Something raises our curiosity. Something touches our hearts and resonates us with them. And this is the calling of a higher power that exists in every human being. And many, many years went by I wasn't paying attention to that, but I do today. I pay attention to all the nudging. I'm sensitive to my curiosity and my interest in what resonates me. And I respond with some sort of action, hopefully being in God's will. So, the reason for the Instagram account is to do some simple practices and some of the things that we're going to talk about tonight. To start practicing an idea or two�it isn't to give you homework, it isn't gonna give you the drudgery about what I'm not doing, what you're not doing�it is to call to remind us a notice, if you like, that the intention of coming this evening was to have your lives changed in some way. And I can do my small part in that by posting one or two small exercises to practice, to put on. You may have your own practice. That's great. You may modify your practice. That's wonderful. But it's there to remind us of the journey that we're taking and the spiritual journey of God and expanding God's consciousness. I will ask you, though, that don't judge yourself. Be kind to yourself. If you start doing an exercise and you don't do it for the rest of the week, don't worry about it. it is nothing here we want to condemn yourself with or judge yourself be kind with yourself put on a loose garment and celebrate whether you did it once or whether you simply just joined and everyone back to the account celebrate your intention be glad for what you've done and then this will grow in you so that you become perhaps more attentive to this nudging to be in action. See, we're called in Step 12 to practice principles in all our affairs, not once in a while, not just in AA, but in all of our affairs. So this Instagram account is set up for you to practice, just to practice. To notice. To observe. and hopefully you'll get some results as a way of utilizing that instagram i'll also ask you to post comments questions if you like share yourself a little bit what you're getting out of this so what you'RE NOT getting out of it i read every one of them and i'm delighted to tell you that i've had several wonderful phone calls this week with people who were on last week's workshop meeting, and I listened to the questions and I responded them. And I'll tell you what a delight it was to be with you and to see how you're confronting yourself and are willing to be open-minded enough to try new ideas. This makes me want to become a better man, and I thank you for that. I really do. So tonight, to get things started, I'd like to have two people with a laser share. What I mean by laser share is that you get right to the point. And the share is about as a result of last week and maybe practicing something, what is it you practice? What obstacles stood in your way? and if you persisted, what benefit did you get? So we'll have two people, about a minute and a half each, and someone would like to call on them. If you can please raise your hands electronically. How you do that at the bottom of your page, reactions button, if you don't mind. I'll take the first two hands. Thank you. Janine, come on up, please. Hi everybody, I'm Janine. I'm an alcoholic and thanks everybody for coming. I just wanted to say that one of the practices was the one of where I was still controlling my life and so I kept asking myself where in my life was I still trying to be in charge and not letting go And the way that I utilized and practiced this workshop was to sit a couple minutes a day and to ask God to take space and to recognize God's presence and to try to look within. And how that helped me was something that I was struggling with. It was an answer that I didn't really want, but I went, you know what? I need to follow it, and it's exactly what I needed. And so it was being open to that and seeing what I was trying to control, which means I was blocking out God. So that's how I applied it. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you very much, Jensen. Thank you, and Shell, come on up, please. Hi, Shell, alcoholic. So mine was to practice being more honest with God and myself and trusting of God to be open and willing. and because i find when i block god i cannot pause and be in the moment i have knee-jerk reactions um i get upset easily restless discontent and And so I practiced with my prayer and really digging in to my God consciousness, this um my um relationship really and it has in turn helped me to be more patient with my daughter more at peace to trust that God is guiding me in all his works so that means everything i do and it has helped me find peace thank you thank you okay great so uh next thing i want to say to you is that i need to admit that i'm no authority on spiritual matters i really want me to get that i am a soldier i'm a traveler or on the same road that you're traveling the same path that you're doing. And my hope is that whatever you're getting out of this workshop is the work that you do with your higher power. I may be pointing in certain things, but I'd like you to really pay attention to what your internal experience is with God. And that's what you're going to bring out of the workshop, not necessarily something that I'm saying to you. So just get used to the idea that you're being partnered with your higher power, guiding you, directing you, and listening as carefully as you can to the voice that doesn't speak. It's a sensation. It's an intuitive thought. It is something in your curiosity. It's a word that you may have that they think you want to pause and reflect upon. So silent nudging is going to help us direct us and give us what we need in the moment. That's how you're going to get the most benefit of this workshop. So I'm just throwing some experiences around that I've had with steps and what my practices have been. And I just want to encourage you once again, this is not the practice of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's my practice. And what we're giving in this beautiful program is the ability to choose the kind of experience and the way in which we operate within the steps. So the steps are like principles. And underneath the principles is our interpretation that's unique and different than everybody else. Now, this is kind of an interesting thought. There's an exclusivity to the world and there's an inclusivity of the same world. If you look at every picture on the video screen today, you'll notice that not one person looks the same. We're all different. And yet we hold so much in common. So there's a difference and there is a commonality. The difference enriches us. So what you bring to this table tonight is your deep, rich experience and your interpretation of your life. And how you put that on and clothe the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous in there. So it sounds different coming from you. And that's how each of us learn. We learn because we share our experience with each other, and we're open-minded enough and be willing enough to listen to how it's being interpreted. Because we just may find a gem in a moment in time. Miracles happen because we're ready to make them happen. We're ready for notice. we're ready to be courageous enough to take on new ideas and even though they're uncomfortable and maybe we don't even know what it even looks like that we're willing to try something new and how beautiful that is so let's just take a moment and prepare ourselves for this sacred experience The sacred experience is how we are going to discover together really what it means to participate in step three. So, it's a sacred opportunity. It's a holy place. It's the place where lives get transformed. so to get the most out of this workshop you need to be fully present so try to eliminate all distractions don't pick up the text and phone or don't look at your google and search try to be attentive be present be engaged Not because I'm engaging, but because you are engaging. Get ready to a fantastic experience. See, this determines the quality of the experience is that we're willing and we're ready. So I'm not saying that to be bossy friends or to control the situation. I want you to walk away with something so beautiful and wonderful that you can write me and say, John, this was an experience I must share with you. And I know we live in a day at a time, but I'd like you to think about five years from now, looking back at this workshop tonight. I'd Like You To Think, that experience for me changed the way in which I live my life today. That experience way back then. See, it's not about me doing it for you. It's about you doing it for yourselves. And what I want to do, if it's at all possible, is open that experience up for you to step in and to really experience a deep relationship in that spiritual landscape that you stand there with awe and wonder and experience the depth, the width, the height of the love of God. So we learn best when we're fully engaged, friends. Each of us have come here tonight full of the day's activities. Some of the things we might be hanging on to for days or weeks or months and even years and we become preoccupied. Now, I often think about the brain as being a place that has space. There's only so much space in the brain. And when I'm full of all preoccupation, full of my judgments, my conclusions, my bias, and all the preoccupation that went on today, I have little room to learn. And Ann has started off prayerfully and beautifully, prayed the set-aside prayer. But I'm going to tell you what happens to human beings. Sometimes we sit and stare. We don't participate because someone else is doing something, and we get lost in our thoughts. And although the prayer intent is to let go of all the preoccupation, you may have missed it. So I'm going to ask you now in your imagination to let go of everything. All the preoccupation, all your biases and judgment, all your conclusions. Maybe you're angry or you're worried and you're fearful tonight. Maybe you're full of joy because something wonderful happened to you today and you keep thinking about it and replaying it over and over. Whatever the preoccupaction is right now, this moment, just let it go and be fully present, engaged, leaning in and getting the full breadth of this experience. Thank you. So I'd like to have two shares, Howie, on what is the experience of being fully present? Again, a laser share, very sharp, very focused. What does it mean to you to be present, fully engaged, in the zone? Zane, come on up, please. Hi, I'm Zane. I'm an alcoholic. You can hear me? Yeah. Okay, it's working. I'm new to this. Hi. Good to be here. Ladies, share what it's like to be president. For me, it is like taking a deep breath. But there's a stillness in the mind. There's a willingness to let go of the chatter. And also for me, there's just like, God help me. I don't know how to quiet this. But my life demands it because I want to be of service. That's what it's like for me. Thanks. Beautiful, beautiful, Zane. Thank you. Lisa, come on up, please. hi i'm alcoholic my name is lisa can you yeah uh i would say to be fully present for me a takes work constant effort because i'm always thinking ahead i'm a doer but when i'm fully present is when i fully experience god's voice that um i'm reminded in scripture where it says be still and know that i am god and that's when my recovery is is at its highest that's when i hear i just lost my mom a few weeks ago and being still not rushing i was able to hear a voice call your mom and i called her and i went up and by god's grace i saw her and was able to talk to her not knowing that she was going to pass away that night so um yeah benefits for sure um but it takes it takes effort to be still so thank you lisa and we're all sorry for the loss of your mom thank you for your share so tonight uh i was gonna do steps three six and seven and doing the work planning for this conference i don't know if we can get through all of that, because sometimes less is more. And I was having the feeling before I came on tonight just to stop it at step three, but we'll see how it goes tonight. I don't want to lose the impact of the prayer in which we're about to take at the end of this evening, the end of this lecture evening, I want to have a full impact of what it really means for us when we're fully engaged in the third step prayer. I'll just go by my script now because it assumes that we are going to be doing 3, 6 and 7. And I just want to acknowledge I'm not talking about steps 4 and 5 tonight. and i'm jumping over them not because i don't think that they're important or essential they are there absolutely are and if one person asks what is one step more important than the other i would say no they're like spokes in the wheel uh the more spokes the more integrity there is the wheel. So every step is critical and essential for engaging God's consciousness. But for the purpose of this workshop, I'm going to assume that you'll be doing steps four and five because we have to have a fact-finding mission to be released from our past. We're tethered to our past because of the shame and the blame and the harm that we have caused. And it's by doing step four, we begin to completion. We begin to recognize our responsibility in this thing called our lives. And from that, we can grow beyond, that we can remember the past, but we're no longer emotionally tied to it. Steps four is our first attempt to lay down what we would call the facts, where we eliminate blaming. Step five is the opportunity to really join the human race. It's about releasing the secrets to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, all the things that we've written about in steps four. And it's the start and the beginning or it's a threshold of joining the human family because we become vulnerable and open. We begin to see that whatever secrets we have makes us ill, and we're able to seek forgiveness. able to open up, take responsibility for our behavior. And from that we can move on. So no way do I mean to diminish Steps 4 or 5, but I'm just letting you know that when planning this workshop I didn't include them. Decided to turn our will and our life over the care of God, made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood Him. We made a decision. You know, first thing I would like to share with you is to decide. You know, you may hear people say, and I admit that I said it in meetings, all they ask me to do is to make a decision. It doesn't ask you to do it. It's as if you're trying to pass off something quickly without really giving it a lot of vertical thinking. All it asks me to do, is make a Decision, nothing more. Today, people decide and change their minds within the first hour. The decision, when we use the word decision, we forget its meaning of it. So just as a quick thing, if you decide to go to the show, what do you do? If you decide to go into the restaurant, what you do? You go. So it's not like, well, I think I'll decide to go to the restaurant because that's all there is you have to do is make a decision. No. The implication is that you're going to go To the restaurant or go to the movies. And this isn't any different. You see deciding needs to be brought back to its original meaning. Particularly in this step, friends. The word decides comes from a family of words. The C-I-D-E family, side family. Words like pesticide, homicide, suicide. it's the side family of words and what's the meaning of it is is to kill off any other options so taking that responsibility on to make a decision what i'm doing is killing off any other way of living my life now i can make i'd like to make something clear here It doesn't mean you'll never take your will and your life back. That doesn't means that. But what it means is when you make a decision to give your will and your wife over the care of God, that becomes the default. And whenever we find ourselves taking our will back, and it will, you will, all there is left to do is to give it back to God. But the default is no longer, I'm going to take care of my will in my life. That's not the default anymore when I'm doing step three. I made a decision to kill off that option so it never becomes a default again. It means we have a new default of living our life. This is under the guidance and direction and care of God. Next thing I'd like you to pay attention to is the word care. Care. What does it mean to care? Think back in your experience in life. Have you ever cared for somebody or something? Has somebody cared for you? Just think about that experience for the moment and just reflect on it. What is it like to care? who would like to do again a laser share be sharp be to the point of either giving or receiving care does anybody like to just share your experience about that Jane come on up please my name is Jane and I'm an alcoholic and um I work in the school system and I care for children every day and so I entertain them and I love them and I look out for them and I make sure that they're not doing what they're supposed to do and I hug them when they're crying and I deter them when they get themselves in trouble and I intervene on their behalf and I do a whole bunch of stuff for other people's children so I feel like I care for them beautiful Jane one more thank you bonita alcoholic for me care is no boundaries that's laser sharp great excellent so tell me friends what virtue needs to be present for care to exist What needs to be present for true care to exist? And Jane actually said the word. Love. Love is always present when care exists. Now, you may be looking after someone, and it's an obligation. That's not caring. The intent of the word caring is to have love exist in the caring. So when we turn our will and our life over to the care of God, what we're expecting and what we're confident in that it's a loving God, we begin to trust that there exists a higher power that has love. Unconditional love. Agape love. That love exists in that relationship. So, if we decide to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, what are we getting rid of? What does our life look like when we are doing and being the way we are before we make a a decision and consider two selves. Each of us have two selves, one authentic self or true self, and the other one, a false self, a shadow. You know, sometimes it can be referred to his I and the small me. And also, the false self can be called ego. You know, how is it possible that we have two states in the being that lives with one body? So let's examine this for a moment. If you have a piece of paper and a pen, now's the time to bring it out, draw a vertical line down the middle of your paper. And on the left side, I have a column titled TS, True Self. And, on the right side of the page, it's titled FS, False self. So let's begin to understand what we are giving up when we make a decision. What is the false self? How can we define it in the shadow of self? What is it? So, this kind of false self is affected by external temporal things. When I mean temporal, I mean it doesn't last, like power, prestige, recognition. You know, it's the kind of feeling you get when you think a new clothes might help you feel better or a new car or a bigger house or a better job. When you go and purchase those things and only define, oh, it was pleasurable for a moment or two, then all of a sudden you remember you've got to make the payments, which is painful. It doesn't seem to satisfy your being for very long. So it's very heavily invested in material worth. It's always chasing the next bright and shiny object. It looks to be validated by others. We need approval. We're worried and concerned about how we appear to other people, and we filter what we say and how we relate, because we want them to feel or think highly of us. So in a way, we're hiding. We have a social mask. We're not ready to reveal ourselves, because what we get our power from or we think we're getting our power is all external. defined by the number of virtual followers you have on Instagram or other Facebooks and so on. Look at me, I have a thousand followers. I am important. It could be defined by the number degrees that you have in the education. Achievements. The false self always compares. Oh, I'm not as good as that person or I'm better than that one. It criticizes, it gossips, seeks attention, blames, and wants pleasure. It's always looking for worth outside of itself. In a nutshell, y'all. It's restless, irritable, and discontent. Then after you go through the cycle of finding what makes you happy by external means, you always end up wanting. It just doesn't fit. There's something hollow and empty. And your inner voice is saying to you somehow, well, this doesn't work. So it's got to be a bigger car and a bigger house. It's got the grander vacation. You know, you trade in the clothes for a money because people think you're successful because you've got the high, high, high-end clothes. And the result is always the same. This false self is chasing its tail like a dog chases its tail. It'll never catch up. that always will leave you wanting and desiring more. Who I am is a question for the ages, and I'm sure sometime in your life you have asked yourself that question. Who am I? And the false self can't give you an answer because it doesn't know Because all it's interested in is externals. So you can never satisfy yourself to answer the question, who am I? And as we say in Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a God-sized shaped hole in our soul. it continually filters the human experience through a selfish and self-centered filter. That's how the false self works, always through that self-centred filter what about me? Can't they see my value? How could you hurt me? It defends itself, it thinks it's being attacked all the time. So it defends itself. There's little pleasure in self-satisfaction, but it leaves just as quickly as it comes. The pleasure we're seeking comes and goes so quickly. And we're left with this question, friends�and I don't know if you've ever experienced this or not�is that all there is? The false self asks that. Is this all that there is?" I thought I was to be happy, joyous and have meaning and purpose in life, and all I have is emptiness and a hollow spirit. Can you live a life of quiet desperation? A couple of shares about what I've just read and how you're viewing that. Is there two people with laser sharp shares? Nancy, come on up, please. Did you say me? Yes, ma'am. Hi, I'm Nancy. I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Nancy. i have a wonderful wonderful friend older lady who has um dementia and i work with her because it's so satisfying i get a lot a lot out of it she was a therapist for many years and she uses the word character defenses instead of character defects so when you said you know what does the false self look like that just popped in my mind as um our defenses because we're afraid that our authentic self even if we know what it is is not going to be accepted by other people and she said she never had a client that she didn't love once she got past their character defenses so i wanted to toss that in thank you beautiful nancy thank you for that thank you nancy sorry if you don't have your video and i'm not going to be calling on you jazelle come on up yeah go ahead i'm an alcoholic my name is giselle so is that all there is yeah that was my mantra for 20 years of sobriety when i lived in the bedevilments and didn't work the steps because i didn't think i needed to change that i was perfect just the way i was and thank god after an eight year hellish relapse um i'm back um just celebrated two years last month but it's you know i'm all in now i'm all in and that's one of the reasons i'm here and um i've spoken to you before john and thank you so much for what you're doing um i lived on a false self my whole life it was always about the outside to make the inside feel better and it was always a temporary fix. I managed to go to law school, become a good lawyer, work in drug courts and then became a judge to create another type of drug court and helped a lot of people for nine years. But because of this disease, I was caught slurring on the bench not once but twice and um blasted all over the news and the newspapers and everything and i thought that i was nobody you know because i lost i completely lost my identity because i didn't know who i was anymore and thank god i have found purpose in this program and i'm one of the pack finally thanks thank you giselle thank you okay the last thing i'd like you to get about the false self two things i'd like you again it's in the false cell that our defects character are like yeast they rise rise. You get what I'm saying? It's in the false self, gives rise to our defects of character. And it's important to know that. The last thing I want to say about the false self, because I probably made everybody feel pretty poorly, wasn't my intention. But now your false self, your ego says, oh, I can fix this. And it's like asking a watch to fix a watch. The ego doesn't have the power to fix this because it's a false self. It's a shadow. It doesn't really exist. So the watch can't fix the watch. So the false self cannot fix the false self. It doesn't have the power. Yeah, we can all point to improvements. When we stop drinking, our lives do get better. There's no doubt about it. But what we're leaving behind is a banquet of the opportunity of a miraculous life that exists somewhere else, not in the false cell. Now, I have to share with you that I spent a lot of time in my life trying to fix the false self by knowledge, reading more, doing more, being more purposeful. And there's nothing wrong with that kind of life, by the way. What the weakness of it is, is done by self. That's the weakness. And what I've found, and what I can share with you and assert with you tonight, is that my resources have limits. Oh, I could�before I was a person that was always late, and I can brag tonight that I'm always early. Or I can improve some places. But in the heart, in the depths of my being, I couldn't change this self-centeredness, friends. I just didn't have the power. Now, I get in our Step 12 there's nothing going to help us prevent ourselves from drinking as helping others. I get it. I understand it and I believe in it. But if I'm doing it from the ego�the false self�I'm doing out of obligation and responsibility. Where's the care? I was sharing with somebody last or this morning, actually. They're talking about sponsorship and they're concerned about, well, I don't have the answers. It's not about having answers. There isn't. You know, it's about caring. That's what it's all about. That if you sit and listen to another human being and you listen intentively, with the desire to understand and to be kind to them. Rather than trying to give them advice, they'll remember this experience. And I'll tell you something else, if you give them advise, they're going to forget about it by next week. But the caring, the love that exists when you reach out with somebody because of a transformed heart will always be remembered. Always be remembered live. I just, before I got on the internet tonight, a fellow phoned me up and I haven't talked to him in 15 years, 15 years. I haven'T talked to him. You know what he said to me? He said, John, you were one guy that changed my life. And you know what? I have no idea what I said to him. And I don't think he knew either. well he gave me an estimate but one thing stuck in his mind that i cared for him i willed the best for him as him see this is what we're dealing with here friends you can stay in the self false self and you can show improvement and you make comparisons like well i'm better than i am today than when i was drinking but you're going to be asking yourself is that all there is i cannot tell you how many people from 15 to 25 years of sobriety have come to me and say you know what there's something wrong there's just something wrong and it's because of this what i'm what i was sharing with you tonight the false self gives rise to defects of character the false self can never fix itself so we belabored that for long enough what's the true self then i had a wonderful phone call tonight or this week from a lady she said i don't know who i am and i said wonderful wonderful what an opportunity to learn what is the true self so first of all let me just say this our existence isn't a mistake it isn't you see we go back to step two when it talks about being restored we're being restored in this program so our existence is not a mistake it's a gift from someone or something and this someone or some thing keeps inviting us to a relationship a love relationship doesn't stop. We could be in the false self, and all of a sudden we get an urge, a nudge to pray, to think about God maybe. See, it keeps calling us in. It keeps saying, come, come and see, come and sea. So we're always being invited. our most profound freedom is not to do what we want but to be who God's wills us to be let me repeat that our most profoundly profound freedom deep truest freedom is to be what we are to do what we want because we're adults. No. But it's to be who God wills us to be. See, there's a sinking going on. You know, in the false self, we're broken. And in the true self, there is unity. There is connectedness. It's a healing. God wills us to be. He wills us to be. And the freedom comes on us as a infinite possibility for growth. An infinite possibility for growth and So what level are you going to settle for in life? Oh, I've been sober for 10 or 5 or 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years. Is that enough for you? Are you still get anxious and restless, irritable and discontent? Do you still have kinds of arguments around self-centeredness and selfishness? Are you defending yourself? Is that okay to be like that for you And it might be. I'm not here to judge you. What I'm here is to say there's an infinite possibility for growth by being in this love relationship with this higher power. Now, what do I mean? This is so important to me. Each of us has this word love, and we make it mean something. And for me, love was always kind of romantic kind of love. But I saw in movies and heard in my music in the 60s and 70s and 80s, the love was all about feelings. What does it mean? I got a better definition than I live by today. love is willing the good for the other as the other is willing to good god's willing me into being and what i'm doing with that willing into being i am willing other people into being so when i meet you and before we started this program today i'm looking at every picture you know what i was i'm willing the best for you I'm willing the best for you when I answer your comments on Instagram what I'm doing and behind you and I'm not sharing with you about this I'm willingly the best for you you're in my prayers and what happens I get transformed you see this is fascinating this is absolutely fascinating I become who you think I am. So if I am being willed for good by God, by this higher power, and I'm willing the good for you, I become good. See, I have purpose and meaning. My life gets elevated. I don't do that as a first reason to do it, by the way, because I care. But I'll tell you what happens is you elevate me, God elevates me, and I get to celebrate life like I've never celebrated it before, brother and sisters. I have to tell you that. I was sharing last Monday night about going through the grocery store almost skipping. You can imagine a 74-year-old overweight man with a grocery cart skipping through the bakeries in the supermarket, smiling at people, engaging with them, saying hi and thanking them for their service and meaning it. See, I get to have life like that. Now, just to share another little experience I had. I'm here in San Antonio, visiting my son's family. They decided to buy a new puppy. That's six hours from San Antonio on a drive. So we go in the car and they have two kids, one 12, one 11. You might know what that's like when they're driving there that many hours, the kids get a little rambunctious and so on, little discussion going on, what have it. I'm sitting there very satisfied because I'm willing the best for each of them as they are. I was sitting quietly. We went to stay at a hotel last night or Saturday night and Sunday morning we picked up a poppy. A poppy, God's creation. And we went to the the breeders, and their little puppy was outside in a little cage. I'm watching very closely my son's family. What I witnessed was a miracle. Immediately all the defenses went down, all the arguments that they had on their travel to get there, and you can see that each of the four of them were struck with love. They fell in love immediately for this little furry animal that's so darn cute. I may even show you a picture of him, so you get the experience of falling in love with something insignificant as a puppy. Because this is what we're called to do, friends. We're called the fall in love with this power. And then you start believing it. All the defenses go away. All the anxiety and upset gets removed, because you begin to trust this is not a mistake. Life is not happening to you. It's just happening. And that we have the tools to overcome what has to be overcome, to confront what has been confronted, To love something into being. I love when people share, by the way. I'm getting off topic. I apologize. When somebody starts to share by saying that people in Alcoholics Anonymous loved me before I knew how to love myself. That's what we do. We care. We love. Willing the good for the other as the other. So, immediately, I'm almost in tears witnessing this little experience. Seeing my grandchildren, my granddaughter's eyes, holding and hugging them, kissing them, puppy licking them. Beautiful experience. And all it was, was an everyday thing that maybe some people wouldn't even bother to notice. And I just witnessed a miracle. I just witnessed God's love being transformed into a puppy, and the puppy's love coming back to the people. It's an experience you don't want to miss. So let me get back on track. Forgive me for getting off topic. So our most profound freedom is not to do what we want, but to do what God wills us to be. And freedom comes upon us as an infinite possibility for growth, friends. Hidden and clothed with God's grace. God wills us to be free. Free of all false self attachments. See, that's what hurts us. Is this attachments we have to the false self. what god wants most for me is myself my sacrifice must include letting go of the false self i have to be available in order to find my true self i had to let go of that life as become as it defines me now we have to live in the world we have to go to work. We have to earn money. We have to save. We have to work hard. Those are good things. Those are external things, but what the difference is, what I'm sharing with you is they don't define us. They never will define us because we're something different than those things. We allow God to define us, that's what we allow. And false self is a distraction. I must learn to go beyond my narrow limits of my ego. So in other words, very simply, to save my life, I have to lose it. For God to be is to give being. For man to be is to receive being. That's where the power comes from. The power that Wilson, I believe, was talking about is that we receive being from this higher power, this God, whoever your God is for you. And our true self is receiving being. Our false self is broken. And our truth is broken as well. Our true self isn't intact. The unifying act is practicing each step in our 12-step program, guiding us to live in our true selves. What's our response to God's love? Our self-gift is to love our neighbor as ourselves, as acts of service. See, we find ourselves by losing ourselves. we discover our true self by letting go of self it's a paradox hidden in plain sight so by giving the self gift living our lives for another by serving others we get to know our true selves so when we give our will and our lives over the care of god we become in the truest sense of the word our best selves this likeness to god reveals that man is the only creature on earth god willed for itself cannot be fully find him or herself except through the sincerest gift of him or herself. In other words, the only way we can find our true self is by being in service, which we in Alcoholics Anonymous know so much about. Love increases to the portion as it is shared. So if I love little, I share little. If I share a little,I love little. okay i'm running actually i knew i wouldn't have enough time to do all of this friends but i think this is okay because this is such a significant and transformative step see it's more than just making a decision there's implications in it But I wanted to give you a clear picture of what you need to give up in order to get the true self. You need to Give Up the False Self, which doesn't serve you for any good purpose. Not because the situations in them are bad. So buying a car is not bad. Don't walk away with that opinion. But when we define ourselves by buying a Car, that's what's bad. So what happens when we decide to turn away from our false self, stand in the threshold of surrender and step three? Friends, I invite you to prayer. Let's recommit to be fully present and without any preoccupation. Let go of all the tension and recall your unholy ground right at this moment. kind of take off your sandals as a metaphor out of respect for what we're about to pray and fully appreciate that you are in a presence of a much greater power than you can even imagine. Power that is constantly inviting you to a love relationship. This is not about knowing, it's about caring. And I would like you to savor every word and imagine you receiving precisely what God has prepared for you today. And experience the prayer and not just say the words. So as you get ready, just lift your hearts and minds up to God. Pray together this great and wonderful prayer of the third step. God I offer myself to thee to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life. May I do thy will always. And as we sit for a moment in meditation, reflecting on what we just did in the prayer, let's continue the prayer by thanking our higher power for each gift that he has bestowed on us We accept the gift gladly and thankfully. And we may not know even what the gift is at this moment, but we trust that we've been given something to transform our hearts and minds. Amen. Thanks for listening.