Step 8 – Judy A. – Wilson House Big Book Workshop Retreat – 2020

About This Speaker Tape

Chris and Judy tackle the wreckage of the past, focusing on the grit of Steps 8 and 9. Chris recounts sponsoring a man who stole cigarettes from a convenience store and the subsequent 'sponsorship summit' that forced a rigorous look at honesty. He details the fallout of 'amends gone wrong'—including a man who confessed a sexual attraction to a newcomer and another who confessed affairs to his wife, resulting in a physical beating and lawsuits.

Judy shares the raw pain of locating a child she gave away at birth, only to be rejected over the phone, and the spiritual pivot that followed when a friend's crisis reminded her that she still mattered. Both speakers emphasize that amends aren't about apologies or approval, but about 'balancing the books' and removing the 'bondage of self' to find a level of freedom that allows them to look the world in the eye.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Laughter: Jokes about the 'chocolate mule' and the gratitude basket.
• 10:15 Chris discusses the power of taking each step to gain the grace for the next.
• 14:30 Story of the sponsee stealing cigarettes and the 'sponsorship summit' on rigorous honesty.
• 22:10 Step 9: Examples of 'amends gone wrong' and the danger of making amends without guidance.
• 31:40 Chris shares his experience with financial amends and paying back child support.
• 42:10 Judy discusses the 8th and 9th steps and the concept of 'balancing the books'.
• 48:50 Judy's narrative about locating the child she gave away and the resulting rejection.
• 56:20 Judy describes the 'mysterious routes' of amends and reconciling with her mother.
• 1:02:15 Discussion on making amends to children and replacing harms 'in kind' with security.
• 1:12:40 Judy's experience with her brother and the realization of how she harmed him by mocking his wife.
• 1:21:00 Mention of the 'prison sponsorship' line and making amends in spirit.
• 1:30:15 Applause: Closing remarks on the legacy of Jerry E. and the scholarship program.