Scott T. at the Depth and Weight Speaker Meeting – 2023

About This Speaker Tape

November 14, 1979: a car parked on the Bourne Bridge, 169 feet above the canal, and a man who decided he was too much of a "pussy" to climb back down. Scott T. describes a life lived in the extremes—from the "human kennel" of a California penitentiary where he earned 20 cents an hour, to the heights of a millionaire circuit speaker flying limousines between LA and Boston.

He speaks of the "sneaky bastard" of the disease and the "mental masturbation" of ego that convinces a man he is above the steps. His wreckage is concrete: a broken neck, a .25 automatic to the head, and the collateral damage of a father who killed a woman in a blackout. After losing everything to "cocksureness," Scott describes the return to a Higher Power from the hole of a prison cell, trading the prestige of the podium for the raw necessity of survival.

He warns that the elevator to sobriety is broken; you have to take the stairs, one by one.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening reading from the Big Book regarding the 'arrested alcoholic' and the need for a program for living.
• 5:45 Scott T. discusses the 'lost art' of the program of action and his early days in AA in 1972.
• 12:10 Laughter: Discussion of 'blackout drinking' and 'projectile puking'.
• 16:40 Scott T. describes his time in the California penitentiary and his first real encounter with Chapter 5 of the Big Book.
• 21:15 The narrative of the 1979 jump from the Bourne Bridge and the 'moment of clarity' that followed.
• 28:30 Story of meeting his wife, Kim K., through letters while he was incarcerated.
• 34:10 Scott T. admits to 'giving away' his 10th and 11th steps, leading to a relapse and the loss of his wealth.
• 38:20 Account of the 1996 suicide attempt by gunshot and the subsequent 'three strikes' legal ordeal.
• 44:10 Reflection on his son Tommy T.'s battle with an inoperable brain tumor.
• 51:00 Closing thoughts on the 'man in the glass' and the danger of a watered-down recovery.