Russell S. – The Bondage of Thinking About Yourself – 2025

About This Speaker Tape

First A. Breakfast - 2025

Russell, a 76-year-old lawyer in his 45th year of sobriety, dismantles the delusion that physical sobriety is the same as sanity. He maps out the 'bondage of self'—the obsessive fear of what others think—and argues that the Big Book is less about not drinking and more about a total reliance on a Higher Power. He recounts his own wreckage: a marriage entered into too quickly, a career driven by a need for attention, and a legal case where he took a massive retainer for a cocaine trafficking charge he knew was unwinnable. He describes the 'final crushing' he received from a Jesuit priest at a retreat, who told him he was 'full of shit,' a moment that finally broke his arrogance and shifted his perception from being 'upsetable' to finding a gritty, hard-won peace.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Laughter: Russell jokes about his marriage and the 'feedback' he gets from his wife.
• 12:15 Discussion on Step 2 and the concept of being restored to sanity.
• 18:30 Russell discusses the 'bondage of self' and the fear of what others think.
• 25:10 Analysis of Bill Wilson's 'Emotional Sobriety' and the 'Next Frontier'.
• 34:20 Laughter: Story about the 'if-only-er' mentality and becoming a lawyer for the wrong reasons.
• 42:15 Discussion on Step 3 and the decision to turn the will over to a Higher Power.
• 51:00 Story about the 'upsetable' nature of the alcoholic and the conversation with Joe Snyder.
• 1:02:10 The 'cocaine trafficking' case and the anxiety of being a 'phony' lawyer.
• 1:15:45 The encounter with Father Al Grau and the 'final crushing' of his ego.
• 1:24:30 Conclusion on becoming 'undisturbable' and the role of the Higher Power.