Matthew M. at the NW Woodstock of AA – 2016

About This Speaker Tape

Redondo Beach in the 70s: a collision of ancient Catholic tradition and the sexual revolution. Matthew M. grew up in an Irish family where the "elephant in the living room" was simply turned into a coffee table. He entered recovery as a destroyed man, weighing 108 pounds, fleeing a living room filled with Coors and cocaine to save the only thing he had left—thirty days of sobriety.

He describes the "imp of the perverse" that haunts his 10th step, noting that while the monkey is off his back, the circus is still in town. He recalls the grit of early sobriety: sugar in the gas tank, expired licenses, and a jail cell where blood dripped from a cellmate's fist onto his face. Through the bondage of self, he found a Higher Power not in a textbook, but in the small, altruistic act of remembering a visitor's name. From wearing brown Hush Puppies to a corporate airline office, he learned that prayer is simply doing the next indicated thing.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Matthew M. opens by discussing his home group, the Hermosa Beach Men's Stag.
• 2:15 Laughter: Story about Sister Dennis A. and the 'crowded' nature of hell.
• 6:40 Discussion of the 10th Step and the 'imp of the perverse'.
• 11:20 Early sobriety wreckage: The 90-day chip and the 'welcome to your past' arrest.
• 15:45 The 'bondage of self' and the advice to do something nice for someone without telling anyone.
• 21:10 The job interview with the airline VP and the 'brown hush puppy shoes'.
• 26:30 The crisis of Philippa P.'s stroke and the conflict over going to Chicago for training.
• 31:15 Surrender: Praying on the tile floor of a hospital shower at 4 a.m.
• 35:40 The practice of the 11th Step and the 6 a.m. meditation calls with Jay.
• 40:10 The metaphor of the Martian in Austin, Texas, and hearing the 'music' of a Higher Power.