Mary C. on the Common Solution and the Common Bond

About This Speaker Tape

5th Tradition Group -

Mary C. traces a life defined by early trauma physical and sexual abuse and a childhood spent in a haze of NyQuil and Thunderbird wine. She maps out the wreckage of her early adulthood—a marriage at 16 to escape a home life where her mother slept with the juvenile judge followed by years of prostitution and homelessness. After a 17-year period of sobriety that ended in a devastating relapse and the death of her youngest son Mary describes her return to the rooms as a total surrender. She dismantles the delusion of control using the metaphor of a bee sting allergy arguing that willpower is useless against a physical craving. Through a rigorous application of the 12 Steps she works through deep resentments toward her mother and the judge eventually finding the freedom to be a good daughter regardless of her mother's capacity to be a mother.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Mary C. opens by thanking the Fifth Tradition Group.
• 2:15 Childhood memories of abuse and the early use of NyQuil to 'make the bad stuff go away'.
• 5:40 The wreckage of her first marriage at 16 and the betrayal involving her mother.
• 8:10 Step 4: Working through resentments and the realization that her mother was 'sick just like me'.
• 12:30 The 'phenomenon of craving' and the tragedy of her son's death during a relapse.
• 16:45 The bee sting allergy metaphor explaining the physical allergy to alcohol.
• 21:10 Step 2: Borrowing a Higher Power after feeling abandoned.
• 25:30 The wheelbarrow analogy for faith and trust.
• 29:00 Step 5: Admitting the 'unthinkable'—prostitution and neglect of her children.
• 34:15 Step 9: Making direct amends and cleaning up her side of the street.
• 38:50 Step 11: Discussing the daily reprieve and the need to 'divorce her thinking'.
• 43:20 The encounter with the judge at an old-timers meeting and the closing of her story.