I May Not Be Much but I’m All I Think About – Mike

About This Speaker Tape

Dr. Mike leads a Big Book study group through what he calls the "Second Step Proposition Exercise," drawn from Dave Fredrickson's Fellowship of the Spirit material. He frames the exercise around the proposition on page 53: Higher Power is everything or He is nothing. Mike argues this isn't a one-time intellectual decision but a gut-level concession that must be sustained daily through Step 10 practice — watching for fear, resentment, selfishness, and dishonesty, and asking Higher Power to remove them at once before they bloom.

Mike explains that fear functions as a barometer indicating where "Michael is back into me" — where self-will has retaken control. He walks the group through why intellectual surrender fails: people come in beaten, agree to let Higher Power direct their lives, feel better for a while, then the ego rebuilds unchecked. Their AA life seems manageable but the rest of their lives unravel because they never conceded at the gut level that they cannot run the show. He emphasizes that the disease of alcoholism is active when sober — the self-centeredness, spiritual malady, fear, anger, and resentment — and without the steps, there is no defense against drinking.

He quotes psychiatrist Harry Tiebout's description of the typical alcoholic as a "narcissistic, egocentric core" dominated by feelings of omnipotence, and uses vivid examples — road rage, waiting in line, the battleship-and-lighthouse story — to illustrate how the ego demands the world bend to its will. Mike closes by reading Tiebout's conclusion: if the alcoholic can truly accept a power greater than himself without resentment or struggle, his deepest inner structure is modified, and if he can sustain that acceptance through daily step work, prayer, and inventory, he will remain sober for life.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction to Second Step Proposition Exercise, credits Dave Fredrickson, explains fear as barometer of self-will
• 4:00 The exercise as spiritual exercise — fourth dimension of existence, accessing Higher Power's power to live free of fear
• 8:00 Page 53 proposition: Higher Power is everything or nothing — the only real choice in the Big Book
• 12:00 Intellectual surrender vs. gut-level concession — the longest distance from head to heart
• 17:00 Why people don't make it: ego rebuilds after initial surrender, AA life seems okay but rest of life unravels
• 22:00 The disease is when you're sober — self-centeredness, fear, anger, unmanageability — not the drinking consequences
• 27:00 The mind as the problem: can't think your way through a thinking disease, delusion and believing your own lies
• 32:00 Harry Tiebout on the alcoholic ego: narcissistic egocentric core, feelings of omnipotence, battleship and lighthouse story
• 38:00 True acceptance modifies deepest inner structure — sustaining it through daily Step 10 practice, prayer, inventory
• 42:00 Closing remarks, opens for group sharing, previews next week's continuation on fear areas