Children of Alcoholics and the Concept of a Father Power – Laura B.

About This Speaker Tape

"A monkey could do a better job of managing your life than you're doing." Laura B. recalls this blunt assessment from an old-timer when she was four years dry but "dry as a fire hazard," living in a wreckage of her own making. She dissects the struggle of the ego—the part of her that balks at being a child to a Father Power and prefers to "arrange the lights, the scenery, the ballet" of her own existence.

To Laura, playing God is a recipe for chaos, shame, and a world she desperately needs to escape. She describes the shift from being the director to being a "great employee," reporting for duty to a Higher Power for a full day's wage of sobriety. Using the image of an architect's sketch, she explains the keystone: the decision that there is a power and it isn't her.

Even for the skeptic who thinks the room is full of lunatics, the action is the only thing that yields the result.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:35 Laura B. introduces herself and her sobriety date of April 6, 1987.
• 1:15 Discussion on 'playing Higher Power' and the failure of self-will.
• 2:40 Laughter: Laura B. discusses the 'bondage of self' and the resulting chaos and shame.
• 3:50 The 'boss man' metaphor for a Higher Power to avoid ego clashes with the 'father' concept.
• 5:10 The decision to concede the point and the experience of living a life she doesn't want to escape from.
• 6:20 Story about the Big Book study and the architect's drawing of the keystone.
• seconds Advice for newcomers: Take action regardless of belief; 'refund your misery'.
• 9:30 The 'monkey' comment from an old-timer during her emotional sobriety bottom.
• 10:40 Closing thoughts on the original manuscript and getting the relationship straight.