Charlie P. on the Hunger of the Ego and the Trap of Mental Obsession

About This Speaker Tape

A Seattle Mariners shirt in a Red Sox town marked the beginning of Charlie P.’s lifelong sense of separation, eventually leading to total powerlessness. He describes a long delusional run where he believed he could outsmart the disease even attempting to use yeast to absorb alcohol like the founder of Sam A. After a failed geographic cure in Washington and a spiritual collapse in St.

Peter's Basilica Charlie hit a wall in Vermont. He maps out his recovery through a non-linear gritty application of the 12 Steps moving from a basement apartment with silverfish to a life of service. He emphasizes the 'phenomenon of craving' and the necessity of sponsoring others to avoid the 'bondage of self,' ultimately finding a peace that doesn't depend on his beater car or financial status.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Charlie P. opens by discussing his home group, 'A Design for Living,' and their study of the Big Book.
• 4:15 Childhood memories of feeling separate and the 'crack pipe of approval'.
• 8:30 The progression of the disease and the failure of his first geographic cure in Olympia, Washington.
• 12:45 The 'yeast' experiment and the struggle to control drinking through sheer will.
• 15:20 Emotional breakdown and sobbing in the Church of the Holy Sacrament at St. Peter's Basilica.
• 18:40 Hitting bottom in a Vermont basement with silverfish and spiders.
• 21:15 The moment of clarity and the intuition to 'just walk home' in downtown Burlington.
• 24:30 Working the 12 Steps with a sponsor who had only one year of sobriety.
• 28:10 Discussion of the phenomenon of craving and the 'allergy' described by Dr. S.
• 32:00 The process of the Fourth Step inventory and the Fifth Step promises.
• 35:45 The importance of making amends and cleaning up his side of the street.
• timecode The role of sponsoring others in overcoming the bondage of self and the disciplines of Steps 10 and 11.