Workshop – Part 279 – John

About This Speaker Tape

A parking lot outside a federal prison in Oregon. Ten minutes before turning himself in, John got loaded one last time. For decades, he chased the approval of others like a drug, compromising every moral he owned to feel the rush of attention. He describes his early drinking as a "missing piece," the first time in his life he felt he could finally breathe deeply.

Despite a career in real estate and a family, John admits he treated the program like an "all-you-can-eat buffet," taking the fellowship and the prestige while ignoring the steps and spirituality. This ego led him into mortgage fraud and a pill addiction that only ended when a group of mismatched friends staged an intervention—a "surprise party without the cake." After serving time in federal prison, he stopped trying to outsmart his problems. He traded his "know-it-allism" for a literal approach to the steps, finally owning his wreckage and making amends to those he defrauded.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 John F. shares his sobriety date and the scene of his final drink in a prison parking lot.
• 2:15 Childhood memories of his father's drinking and his early addiction to approval.
• 6:10 The first time he stood up as a newcomer in a meeting in 1996.
• 9:20 The 'buffet' phase of recovery: focusing on service and fellowship over step work.
• 13:40 The descent into mortgage fraud and the start of his Norco addiction.
• 17:10 The intervention and the subsequent transition to rehab and federal prison.
• 22:30 The experience of detoxing in a federal prison.
• 27:15 Working the steps literally with a sponsor and the importance of the Fourth and Fifth Steps.
• 31:00 Detailed account of making amends to defrauded investors and the emotional release.
• 36:20 The irony of his sons attending college in Oregon.
• 41:00 Discussion on Transcendental Meditation and Step 11.
• 46:30 Laughter: Debate over the term 'sponsee' and the danger of the ego pedestal.