Willingness and the Shift from ‘I Know’ to ‘I Don’t’ – Debbie D.

About This Speaker Tape

Forty-one years of sobriety began at eighteen with a 'lame' bottom—a single joint that acted as the final straw for Debbie D.'s reservations. She dismantles the myth of the 'big blowout' event describing her surrender as a quiet psychic shift from 'I know' to a state of willingness. Debbie traces her evolution from a self-serving scorekeeper to a dedicated servant of the fellowship emphasizing the sacredness of the home group and the grit required to place principles before personalities.

She recounts the danger of 'balancing' herself out of the program at six years sober nearly falling into a state of 'stark raving sober' misery before a second surrender to the disease. Her narrative culminates in the raw reality of service from the humility of the toilet paper commitment to the shock of being put in a chokehold during an H&I panel at a psychiatric unit.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening greetings and singing Happy Birthday to Derek and Bob B.
• 5:15 Debbie D. describes her 'lame' bottom and the 'driest martini' (a single joint) that led to her surrender.
• 10:45 Discussion on the 'psychic change' and the shift from 'I know' to willingness.
• 16:20 The importance of the home group and the humility of the 'toilet paper' and 'coffee' commitments.
• 22:10 Placing principles before personalities and the discipline of being kind to people she is not fond of.
• 28:40 The 'stark, raving sober' period: how she almost balanced herself out of the program at six years sober.
• 35:15 The 'booze and the boys' analogy regarding the enthusiasm of service.
• 39:40 Laughter: Recounting the experience of being put in a chokehold during an H&I panel at a psychiatric unit.
• 46:10 Discussing the complexities of family service, including her mother moving in and the situation with her granddaughter Amber.
• 53:20 Closing with a quote from Dr. Bob regarding love, service, and the 'erring member, the tongue'.