Willingness After 27 Felonies and a Mexican Prison – Kip C.

About This Speaker Tape

Violent, racist, and self-destructive—this was the identity Kip C. had to dismantle after a lifetime of extreme wreckage. He traces his path from a childhood of domestic chaos to smuggling drugs across the Mexican border as a teenager eventually landing in Mexican prisons.

The narrative centers on the crushing guilt of his son's near-fatal accident and the suicide of his brother Bill B. both of which drove him to a state of total emotional collapse. Kip describes his time as a wino in Carlsbad living in a stinky bamboo patch before a chance encounter with a former acquaintance and a compassionate woman in a meeting finally broke his resistance.

He works through the agony of losing his son and the revelation of his own manipulative nature in marriage eventually finding a gritty hard-won serenity through the 12 Steps and a commitment to absolute honesty.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Kip C. opens with a joke about the early morning start time and discusses the magic of unity in a room.
• 2:30 Kip discusses his early identity as an 'alcoholic addict' and the correction from his sponsor regarding the nature of the group.
• 5:15 The story of the school drug-education movie that inspired him to start using at age 12.
• 12:40 Kip describes the trauma of his son's accident and the subsequent nine months in the hospital.
• 16:20 The devastating discovery of his brother Bill B.'s suicide and the mention of Chapter 5's 'grave emotional disorders'.
• 22:10 Laughter: Kip describes his 'condo' in a bamboo patch in Carlsbad and his struggle with the 6:00 AM liquor store opening.
• 27:45 The encounter with the woman in the meeting who shares her history as a prostitute and embraces him.
• 32:10 Kip's total surrender to his sponsor, Charlie C., and the experience of learning to pray in a public park.
• 38:50 Kip discusses the reconciliation with his daughter and the healing of his former racism.
• 43:10 The story of his wife Connie's coming out as a lesbian and the subsequent inventory of his own manipulative love.
• 48:20 The grief of his son's death in his arms and the realization of true serenity.
• 53:10 Kip closes with his modified Serenity Prayer and a tribute to the 12 Steps.