William S. – The Quality Of Sobriety – 1985

About This Speaker Tape

Bill, a physician and long-time recoveree, returns to his roots in Manhattan to find solace among the people who first carried him. He opens with the raw wreckage of burying his firstborn daughter, Ann, who died of a cocaine overdose—a tragedy he frames as the 'sudden death' typical of addicts. He traces his own descent, from the final job he could get at City H. in Elmhurst to the 'wild dentist' who first introduced him to the fellowship

. Bill dismantles the idea of addiction as merely a chemical dependency, arguing instead that it is a drive for 'intoxication'—a change in how one feels. He uses the image of a carnival ride's dizziness and a diabetic patient's insulin abuse to illustrate this.

He concludes by proposing a 'fun meter' to replace the void left by alcohol, urging the room to stop taking sobriety too seriously and 'put a little fun in your sobriety.'

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Bill introduces himself and discusses the request to speak about something 'new'.
• 1:45 Bill speaks on the grief of burying his daughter Ann and the tragedy of cocaine addiction.
• 3:10 Recounts the 'last stop on the road down' at City Hospital in Elmhurst.
• 4:20 Laughter: The story of the wild dentist and the early Manhattan AA scene.
• 5:30 Bill's failed attempt to 'weekend' in Orlando to maintain a facade of sobriety.
• 7:15 The 'fun meter' concept: analyzing the drive for intoxication through the lens of a carnival ride.
• 9:00 Medical case study: a diabetic patient addicted to the feeling of low blood sugar.
• 11:00 Bill's experience with the dice table in Las Vegas and the subsequent withdrawal.
• 13:00 The 'fun meter' proposal: mapping helpful versus hurtful intoxication.
• 14:30 Closing thoughts on filling the void in sobriety and the Lord's Prayer.