Why the Monday Night Big Book Seat Became Her Home – Ann W.

About This Speaker Tape

39th Annual Las Vegas Roundup - 2005

A car painter and hairdresser with a volatile rage Ann W. describes a life of 'twisted perception' and isolation. She recalls the wreckage of her drinking—painting a sheriff's green Cougar candy-apple red in a drunken fit choking her daughter in a garage while Mormon neighbors watched and the 'brown paper bagging' of her marriage. The turning point arrives through a tape by Chuck and a meeting in Bellflower where she finally cried. She navigates the crushing blow of a son born with severe disabilities learning unconditional love through him and the support of a sponsor who taught her to 'bob on the wave' of life's tragedies. She moves from a place of needing people to fill a hole in her gut to finding peace in her own home having walked the steps to replace rage with dignity.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Ann W. introduces herself and mentions her home group, the Bellflower Big Book Group.
• 4:15 Laughter: Story about her father, a 'heavy drinker' from Tulare, and the rowdy nature of drunk Portuguese people.
• 11:30 Detailed account of the 'candy apple paint' incident involving a Norwalk sheriff's car.
• 16:45 Description of the 'disco dancing' era and the fear of entering a bar sober.
• 22:10 The 'brown paper bag' ritual at Lucky's market and the struggle with her daughter.
• 28:50 The 'brown paper bagger' marriage and the violence of 'china hutches' and hammers.
• 34:10 Hearing a tape by Chuck and the first encounter with the program.
• 38:20 First meeting experience: the 'all teeth' smiles and her first time crying in a room.
• 44:15 Discussion of her son's disabilities and her struggle with a Higher Power.
• 51:00 The 'bobbing on the wave' metaphor for surviving life's tragedies.
• 56:30 Mention of the 12 Steps and the decision to start sponsoring others.
• 61:00 Closing thoughts on unconditional love and living with dignity.