Why the Fellow Astronauts Stayed Quiet About His Drinking – Buzz A.

About This Speaker Tape

A series of relapses and a hazy period of early attempts marked a recovery for Buzz A. that was far from a straight line. He describes the wreckage of his descent into 'desolation' after the apex of his career battling not only the bottle but a deep-seated belief that he was simply suffering from inherited depression and bipolar disorder.

He recounts the physical misery of drinking while on Antabuse at a Long Beach Navy facility and the friction of being a 'celebrity' in rooms where some felt he wouldn't make it. Now with over 30 years of sobriety he finds his stability in the fellowship and a clear-headed confidence that allows him to return to his work in space exploration without the manic fringes or the fearful discouragement that once defined his drinking years.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction of Buzz A. and his history with Operation Understanding.
• 1:15 Buzz A. discusses his early denial, attributing his problems to inherited depression rather than alcoholism.
• 2:05 Buzz A. shares his sobriety date (October 25th) and the reality of multiple relapses.
• 2:45 Laughter: Buzz A. describes the unpleasant experience of drinking while on Antabuse.
• 3:20 Buzz A. addresses the 'feeling of superiority' some in the fellowship had toward celebrities in recovery.
• 4:30 Buzz A. identifies the fellowship and longstanding friendships as the highlight of his recovery.
• 5:30 Buzz A. discusses his descent into 'desolation' and his current mental clarity.
• 6:15 Buzz A. explains his ongoing struggle with depression and the use of lithium for bipolar disorder.
• 7:10 Buzz A. mentions having a sponsor and taking them to an event in Lyon, France.
• 8:00 Closing remarks and the 'one day at a time' philosophy.