Why the Big Book Tools Are Made for Arrogant Egomaniacs – Peggy M.

About This Speaker Tape

February 4, 1964: the day Peggy M. arrived at the doors of recovery, "done, cooked, fried, and willing." She describes a life lived as a human dichotomy—simultaneously presidential material and "lower than whale poop on the ocean floor." A "bubble off a plum" who never fit in, Peggy recalls the wreckage of a quart-of-vodka-a-day habit that left her smelling like a rotten potato and her brain "fried like bacon."

She recounts the grit of a Paris charity hospital, where she bathed a dying prostitute named Elena, seeing her own future in a pauper's grave. For Peggy, the Big Book tools are not for the faint of heart but are specifically designed for "arrogant, egomaniacal, egominiacal inferiority complex people." No longer a "Tasmanian devil" smacking schoolboys or a beatnik painting in a coal hole, she relies on a Higher Power and the "heartstrings" of fellowship to maintain a peace she once thought impossible.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Peggy M. opens with gratitude and mentions her sobriety date: February 4, 1964.
• 6:15 Laughter: Peggy describes herself as a 'bubble off a plum' and a 'brick short of a load'.
• 12:40 Discussion of sponsorship: The 'dictatorship' of her first sponsor, Jane.
• 18:20 The 'frying' of the brain: A detailed metaphor for how alcohol affects synapses and neurons.
• 24:10 Childhood story about fighting 'Flash' and the later need for amends.
• 31:15 The 'coal hole' studio in Paris and the experience of the beatnik era.
• 34:50 The tragedy of Elena: Watching a fellow alcoholic die in a Parisian pauper's grave.
• 42:10 The 'human dichotomy': Balancing a love for classical music and the Green Bay Packers.
• 48:30 The 'bird crap' epiphany: A humorous moment of Higher Power intervention before a speaking engagement.
• 53:10 The 40th anniversary party and her father's tribute to her recovery.