Why the Big Book’s Concept of Higher Power Must Make Sense – Howard P.

About This Speaker Tape

Sumner County, Kansas, in a world of wheat crops and Methodist churches. Howard P. grew up believing he was separate from everything, haunted by a "corrosive thread" of fear and the crushing weight of "baby elephant beliefs"—the limiting convictions that he was responsible for making his life work, yet lacked the power to do it. He found a temporary, magic solution in whiskey, which turned him into a senior engineer and manager, until the booze stopped making him smart and the bennies took over.

By 1972, he was a "pitiful and incomprehensibly demoralized alcoholic," drowning in debt and the wreckage of stolen company equipment. He entered AA convinced he wasn't an alcoholic, clinging to a Higher Power defined as the immutable laws of nature—a God that doesn't change things to accommodate human trouble. Through the grit of the steps and the honesty of old-timers, he stopped brooding and learned to love the rain.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Opening tribute to J.T. and reflections on the fear of public speaking.
• 4:15 Childhood in Kansas and the 'corrosive thread' of fear.
• 8:30 The baby elephant metaphor and the limiting beliefs of the ego.
• 13:45 Career as an engineer fueled by whiskey and bennies.
• 18:20 The 'half-pint' delusion and the collapse of his marriage and career.
• 24:10 First AA meeting and the insistence that he is not an alcoholic.
• 31:00 Discussion on the phenomenon of craving and the 'slugging it down' type of alcoholic.
• 36:40 His initial struggle with the concept of a Higher Power, viewing it as immutable laws of nature.
• 42:15 The realization that 'takers are losers' and the decision to work the steps.
• 47:50 Step 9: The concrete act of buying back stolen equipment to clear his conscience.
• 53:10 The frozen lake metaphor for living one day at a time.
• 58:00 Closing thoughts on spiritual principles as laws of nature and the value of the fellowship.