Why the Big Book Is a Suggested Program Not a Program of Suggestions – John L.

Our speaker tonight is a guy, when I was elected to be Speaker Chair, he's the absolute first person I thought of. I will say, of my four years of sobriety since I've been sober, this guy is by far the most dedicated, dynamic, energetic, and motivated recovering alcoholic I've ever met in my life. and I thought of him because I thought maybe he could come share some of that light with us tonight. As a matter of fact, right before this meeting, purely to the service of the conference, you know, I talked to him a little bit, shared some things that was going on. It was nice speaking with him. He's just very, very excited. He's got a great attitude. He's so excited to be here. I like that. No pride or arrogance, just very excited I feel so honored and grateful for the hotel room and the banquet and the people. Just a fantastic young man in recovery, and I do hope, like I said, he shares, spills some of that on you guys tonight. He's certainly an example of what a young alcoholic could and maybe should be like. So with no further ado, I would like to introduce our Saturday night speaker for Tiki Pie 2007, John L. from Memphis. Hey, there you are. I didn't know where you were, baby. I love you, man. Good, baby, thank you so much. Oh, sorry. Thank you, Jim. Okay, my name is John Little. I'm an alcoholic. All right. Thank you. Thank you all. I need that. First of all, I want to thank Sarah and Alex for taking such good care of me and getting me here and making sure I'm comfortable while I'm here. And I want to thank you both personally. I want the people on whatever committees it is that put this thing together. And I mean that for all of us. I am speaking just for me, but not just for making it possible for me. But anybody that had anything to do with putting Tiki Paul together and making it possible for all of us, I want to thank you. And it means a lot to me. And there's something else I want to say. I have to say it. That most of the time seven days a week, 24 hours a day, I'll tell you that it's I'm real grateful to be sober. And that's one of the most important facts of my life. And right now, it's a little different and I'm real grateful for it. And that is that I'm grateful we're sober, all of us. And that means a lot to me, man. It does. I'm really grateful for that, man, because I don't believe there would be much me without us. And I mean that. My sobriety date is December 9th of 2001. That's the most important date of my life, man. And probably I'm not going to talk much of what I will I'll tell you what I was like in my drink. And, man, hopefully I won't spend too much time in doing that. And in case nobody knows, I have to say this first, man. In case somebody in here does not know, you never have to take another drink of alcohol another day in your life unless you want to. And you can breathe now, man? And I can remember the first time that a guy told me that. I won't say his name, but he said, son, I'll tell you three things. And I was shaking like a lost dog in the rain. And he said he said son, I'll show you three things and number one is you never have to drink again another day in your life unless you want to and I can remember by the look in his eyes. He meant it man and I don't know if you've ever heard of and I can remember breathe exhaling and he said another thing is this. You never have to be alone again another day in your lifespan unless you want to. And I said, God, he meant that man. And he said, third and most importantly is the program of Alcoholics Anonymous does not fail. It works 100% and it's nothing personal. The steps have changed my life in a way in which I could not have ever imagined. And, uh, I probably won't be able to describe it all in words. I don't have a very big vocabulary to do it, but you know what? I've put a couple of words together that about sums it up and that is, you know, words can't explain what words can explain. I can't describe what I can describe, man. And let me tell you, since I've been a member of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I've seen more beautiful experiences and had more beautiful experiences that just blow my mind, man. And I love them. I love him. And i want more of them. I used to be the kind of person who always wanted one more drink or one more whatever you'd give me, man, and today i'll tell you what i still am stuck on one but i tell you i want one more day, man i want to say i wantto do one more inventory I want to make one more remand and get a little bit closer to somebody and help one more drunk, man. I'm always stuck on one more, and it's good for me, man, that keeps me coming back, y'all don't have to tell me. I'm real grateful for it. And I'll tell you that one of the first times when I look back on my drinking and I could see the progression of my alcoholism. And let me tell you, and this is important that I say, that I suffer from the disease of alcoholism and just as if a person has cancer or diabetes, that person can follow a certain course of action and live relatively free from the symptoms of those diabetes. It's the same with my alcoholism. I take a certain cause of action and I can live relatively, relatively free from the systems of my alcoholics and I'm grateful for that. I'm greatful for it man and I wanted it. I wanted it when I knew it existed. There's been little to no resistance, man, on my part. I'm going to clear this up real quick. If I talk arrogantly, my arrogance is in my creator. My arrogance is into the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I know that if I take the same steps, if I think the same actions that men and women have been taking for 71 years now, then more than likely I'll live a fairly happy, peaceful and free existence in life. And I'm real confident in that and in my arrogance and confidences in you people and what I've been taught. so please don't take it the wrong way I look back and I had been drinking alcoholically for some time but I'll tell you one day I went to school and I don't know why because I never did around this time but I had gotten out of school and I was about 16 years old and I'd gotten out school and this was around the mad dog 2020 era yeah it was before all the fruit punch flavors i believe the only two flavors were orange and grape 250 a fifth uh and i used to my weekends consisted of standing outside of a liquor store begging grown-ups to go in and buy me a fifth and please don't run off with my money. And I've had that happen a couple of times, and I started to slick slide it in. Please don't run off for my money, man. I just want a fifth of cheap wine. And, uh, I'd been drinking it a lot, man, and...and I came home from school one day and a few friends of mine had skip school and we're already two sheets in the wind, man. And they automatically handed me a fifth of orange and I popped the bottom of it, shake it up, and I took the cap off real quick and I put it up to my mouth, man, and as soon as I got something in my mouth my system wouldn't accept it. I wanted to try to kick it right back out and I can remember But at that second, my heart started racing real fast, man. And I said, my God, that got to be some kind of freak accident, man, I did. And so I tried it again. And as soon as the wine touched my tongue, my system rejected it again and again. And the reason I point that out is because I felt as though someone were holding me over a cliff. And as though my life depended on being able to get that wine down me. And it scared me that I couldn't. And then I never knew, before, I hadn't looked at that experience and saw how that me being able or not being able to get the wine in my body scared the death out of me, man. And I'll tell you that I believe that every time I drank, I drank alcoholically. I love the way booze tastes and I love what it did to me and I loved it every time. There wasn't one day that I put booze inside of me in which I was good, man. I was could anything that went on I could be okay with, with both. And having a lot of difficulties at home, one of the last days, One of the last days that I was to spend, I was spending the night at my mama's house and she just by chance went to work and she messed up and left me there by myself. And she had these bottles of wine sitting by her. As soon as you would walk in her door, you would almost trip over them. And my mind convinced me that day that I could take those bottles of wine and sell them and get me some Colt 45 or some Ice House. And so I took about four or five of the bottles, and I left one. and one of them had a Razorback on it, in which my mom is a huge Razorbacks fan, so I dared not touch that one. But there was a woman who always drank out on her balcony, and I called her a booze hound because she always drank wine out on the balcony. I took them around the tour, and she bought all of them for like $20, and I walked up to the Circle K and bought me a couple of 40 ounces and drank them. And I was sitting on her couch when she came home. And let me tell you that I did, I just skipped forward over a lot of experiences. I had done a lot OF damage up until this point. and let me tell you that this was the last. I'm not going to go into everything that I did in between mine. Let me tell ya, I drank booze viciously and I don't say that I didn't drink booze but I did any worse than anybody else in this room I don' t believe in comparing I don''t want to say that mine is any worse or any better than anyone else's I think that's irrelevant to me i did what i did and and and uh on this day my mom never brought my brother home from work uh and and that's pretty much my whole family is my mom and my brother never brought him home with her a day before and she did this day and and those bottles of wine i believe she wouldn't find or she wouldn'T notice missing as soon as she walks in the door she says J.B., where's my wine? And I, being the genius that I am, said, what wine? And she said, that's it, man. That's good. And I'll tell you, I'm sitting on the couch, man, and my mom comes over to me and she proceeds to tell me that she says, I love you. Thank you so much. She said, son, I love you because I gave birth to you and I carried you around for nine months and you was a big baby. She said that. And she said, but you know what? I don't like you, son. And my brother, she walked off to get some of my belongings that I had left there and my brother walked up to me and said, John, do you have another family somewhere in which you don't steal from and you don't just destroy, because you do that to us. And he said, I'm just curious to know, do you have another one in which you treat good? And maybe that will bring me some comfort. That will make me feel a little better. And I sat there and couldn't say anything. And I remember on this day, they proceeded to do that, tell me man, for about 10, 15 minutes. And I can remember sitting there, listening to them, and agreeing with everything that they said about me, man. Every single thing they said About me. I was a piece of dirt, man, a piece Of dirt. And I'll tell you that I wound it up downtown. Somebody had told me I could go and stay at the Memphis Union Mission downtown. And they would put me up for free. and so i did i went down there and and uh was able to stay for a little while and i continued to drink a little wow and i started to go to this recovery dynamics class a guy named benny benny h taught the class who is who is my teacher i have his sobriety today his sobriet was mine and i took it and i love it and uh i wouldn't be here if it weren't for him but i went to his class for a little while and i'll tell you december the 8th of 2001 is to me is every bit just as important as my sobriete date is and i tell you Why? Because on December the 8th of 2001, I woke up that morning on a chapel floor with about 100 grown men who all of them smelled like ass and anything else you can think of. I wokeup on the same floor with them, and I had probably more than 1,000 reasons why I shouldn't drink alcohol, and I couldn't grab ahold of one of them in not drinking. And I had woke up that morning, and the thought crossed my head that I could make up a sobriety date and go buy me a 40-ounce of beer and I could lie about it and say I didn't drink it. So before I knew it, I was purchasing it at the corner of Poplar and Danny Thomas. I walked around the side of it to show you how God works, man. and I was fixing to crack that sucker open, and an old man, Mr. Haywood, was walking across the street. He turned around and looked at me and said, Boy, you know you shouldn't be drinking that. And I said, Yes, sir, I know that, Mr., Haywood. And proceeded to drink it. And I'll tell you, after I got done with it, and I'm telling my mind, saying I've already made up a sobriety date and I's not going to tell a soul, I just drank. And I walked back to the mission, and I walked straight through it. I walked right out on the patio, and I walked street up to the first person in AA I knew, Kelly G., and he's still sober today, and I love him, walked straight up to him and said, Kelly, I just drank alcohol. And I didn't want to, man. And let me tell you that at that very second, And I surrendered to alcohol and all that it did to me. And I accepted that without somebody's help, man, without some help, alcohol would continue to have its way with me as if I was a newborn baby and weak. And I accept that. I accept it. And Kelly said magical words to me, man. He said, John, I still love you. And he said, we'll try it again tomorrow. And I said, man, I just drank. You didn't? And he said, we'll try it again tomorrow. And I hadn't had a drink since that day, and I'm very proud of that. I'll tell you the kind of acceptance, man. And my life did not begin to improve until I surrendered all of me. And the best way I can put the degree of acceptance that I embraced what the program of Alcoholics Anonymous had for me, a friend of mine tells me this story about this cellmate he hired, man. And they was in 201 Poplar. And he was sitting and talking with this guy, man. And the guy says, I've got friends out in, he says, I've Got Family in Olive Branch, Mississippi. And somebody told me that if a person's incarcerated in Olive Branch, they can have family members come and have picnics with you. And he said, I think the next time I go to jail, I'm going to break the law in all of Brant so I can have picnics with my family. He did. He did, and I said, damn, man, that's powerful, man. That is powerful. The thought never occurred to dude to not break thelaw anymore. He was totally okay with the fact that he was going to stay incarcerated and continue to break the law. But the next time he broke the law, he was gonna be in Olive Branch, Mississippi. That's beautiful of me, man. It is. That is acceptance. It is, that is acceptance And it's important that I say this, too, is that I believe in the suggested. I love the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I haven't said that, that I love the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and it saved my life. It has saved my wife with the help of a sponsor who has taken a lot of time to sit down with me and read word by word the big books of Alcoholic Anonymous and take me through our suggested 12 steps to recovery. and that's the way it was taught to me this is a suggested program not a program of suggestions and you know what I'm real glad that my sponsor burned certain things into my mind man to where I know without a shadow of a doubt today that I can get and stay sober stay sober on a one day at a time basis man. And let me tell you that I was taken through the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous when I was about a year and a half sober. And I knew, and let me tell you, I went to a lot of, been to a lot of AA meetings. And I did a four-step, exactly the way the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous says to do it. And it was told to me very clearly how to do And I wasn't afraid of it because I knew the results that would come behind it, and I wanted them. I wanted dem. I knew I would be one step further away from drinking again and one step closer to peace and contentment. And so I wasnít afraid. And let me tell you, I did a lot of writing and did – I'll tell you I had a lot of help. I had the information that I discovered in my fourth step was beyond me and I was incapable of seeing without help. And when I was done, my sponsor and myself sat down and my sponsor proceeded to, we sat down with my fourth step and he proceeded to assume the role as a prosecuting attorney of each and every individual that I had written down. And he needed to do that with me. And let me tell you, after doing that for a few hours, after during that for a few hours. And it was important for me to get to the truth because my mind only told me lies. It only pointed out to me what you had done to me. And I had good reason to be resentful and be angry. And so after doing that for a certain period of time, I was able to get to the truth a lot easier. And I have to say that at about two years sober, about two months ago, two years over, I had made virtually no amends. I had make virtually no amendments and I was fortunate enough to get an amends sponsor and my sponsor is very clear and a lot of people say that there is a miracle that happens in the 12 steps and I've heard lots of people say they don't know exactly where it is just work all 12 of them and it's guaranteed to happen. My sponsor will tell you that his experience is as a result of making amends And I was fortunate enough to be a real big thief when I was drinking. And I'm very sarcastic when I say fortunate enough. And let me tell you that by the time I made it to the amends, and I believe that my sponsor's experience became mine, and it's important that you all know this I had a great experience in doing my fourth step I had an powerful experience in the fifth step and I got everything that I was supposed to get from it and I went I went and when I start hearing noises I just better stop moving don't touch anything and stop moving And I had great experiences. I took my hour after I was done and looked over what I was supposed to look over and asked myself the questions like I'm supposed to. And let me tell you that the most powerful experience I've ever had in my entire life was as a result of making amends and paying back folks' money. I'll tell you a quick story, and I'll make it quick. When I was 16 years old, I worked at Sonic Drive-Thru. I was a cook. And one night I was cleaning. The manager was kind enough to help us clean, and I had found myself over by the cash drawer, and I looked down and seen a little brown envelope that had a dollar sign and $1,000 that I would have sworn he left for me. and uh so i kindly bent over and picked it up and and went found some trash found the trash and i threw it in some trash made it look like trash said i'm taking this out to the trash took the trash out came back in and proceeded to help him look for it the envelope for about two hours for about three hours and finally i said look man i've helped you look forward if you won't strip me down. I don't have the money. I'm leaving. He said, no, I don' want you to strip. Just go. Said just go and I'll tell you how cocky I was. I'll tell you bad I was at that age. I went back and got the envelope, the money and by the time I'm about three stores down, I'm crossing Mendenhall and Winchester, I am counting the money, and it's $850. I want to go back and tell them they shorted me $150. Because it had 1,000 written on it. So our old Sonic drive-thru, $8 50. And let me tell you, thank you, that by the time I was on this step, I wished that I was doing my fourth step again. and I do, and that experience plus a piggly-wiggly that I used to shoplift from on a regular basis. I knew a single mother who had about seven kids, and I would steal her food and sell it to her at good price, and I did that for a period of about three or four months, And my sponsor had me to round up, and I rounded up to $500. And so in addressing these two amends, I withdrew two checks, one for $850 and one for $500, and i called them early that morning. And with the sonic drive-through, i said, sir, you don't know me, but i worked with your company. I called the corporate office, said, you don't know me, but I worked for you or for your company at about 16 years old. And I have some money that belongs to you. And he got freaked out on me. He was like, no, no. You know, I don't think that you do. And I said, hold on, sir. Slow down. I said the question is not if I have your some money, that belongs. Do you? The question is, will you see me and let me give it back to you? And he said, OK, come by at one o'clock. And I did the same with Piggly Wiggly and set up a time for 1.30. And I went out. I went to the corporate offices of Sonic, and I sat behind this guy's desk, man, and I told him that I'm a member of a 12-step program, and it's real, it's vital for me to do this in order for me to continue to live the way I've been living. And I slid an $850 check across his desk and said, is there anything else I can do except for give you your money back, man, to make it right between us? And he said, wow. He said, Wow, son, I don't know what it is that you're doing, but keep on doing it. And I went to the Piggly Wiggly corporate offices, and I sat behind the guy's desk, man. And I slipped him a $500 check. And I said, is there anything else I can do besides this, besides pay you back what I owe you to make it right between us? I'm willing to do it. And he said the same thing, wow, except he said thank you for giving me something to talk about with my friends for a couple of weeks. He said, no, but just keep doing what you're doing, son. And what's more important than that is at about two years sober, I don't know how to describe other than to say I had a lot of questions revolving around a lot of things that has to do with Alcoholics Anonymous and me and the path that I found myself on. And let me tell you that when I got back home, when I get back home man, I went to my bedroom man and I wanted to be grateful to some, I wanted to be grateful and to express that gratitude to who I think is responsible for placing me around you people who gave me access to the sponsor that I have. I wanted to express that to this person, and I did. And I did, and I said thank you a bunch of times. And I said that I don't know how I was able to muster the willingness to do that. I said I'm glad that I didn't spend too much time thinking about it or I might have changed my mind. And I'll tell you that when I stood up, I didn't see anything. I didn' t feel much outside of an extreme gratitude. But I'll teII you what, when I stuId up, man, the picture was a Iot more clear. It was as clear as it's ever been. And I knew for certain that I wasn't where I was, and I didn't just do that for no reason. Because I questioned it. I knew that I did that on purpose. I knew the steps that I had taken prior to that I Did on Purpose. And I did it for a reason. And that reason would not, anything that I do would not be in vain. And I needed to know that. I think that has a lot to do with control and trying to look towards the end of the picture, to look toward the end further on down. But it was important for me at that moment to see that I didn't do it for nothing. And I'll tell you what, the God that I found in Alcoholics Anonymous got a little bit bigger that day. And I needed that at that time. I neededthat at that timethere's no way that I can talkenough about the 12 steps of AlcoholicsAnonymous. I believe the path that us members have been given is the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I heard it, and I reacted quickly, didn't I? There's no way that I can sit here and talk enough about the 12 Steps of Alcoholic Synonymous, And I'm not going to attempt to, and I believe that when I came to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, my problem was not alcohol. I believe that my main problem was a separation from God and people. And I think that there's two sides to every coin. And if that be a big problem for me, then I think the solution is a constant unity to God and the people. and I've taken a lot of actions in this program out of fear. I won't lie, I have. And you know what? I've probably done a lot of work out of fear. And I'll tell you, I don't say this boastingly. I say it because I think that it's important that I notice and I realize my growing spiritually but a day came no that's the microphone that's the microphone that's me meddling with stuff up here touching, I have to touch on it you know what So the 12, and I love, you know what? I heard my friend, my new friend Paul back here. I was in a meeting with him last night. Man, he pointed out, and I love the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I love The Twelve and Twelve. I love our literature that we've been given. And he mentioned something about the warnings that's in the books, warnings that are written. And I've just now sort of picked them up and I'm noticing the warnings that the people who wrote the book gave us. And there's one of my favorite readings out of the 12 in 12. It's a huge warning for me, and it says, I believe it's on page 174, and it say unless each AA member follows to the best of his or her ability, I was suggested 12 steps to recovery, and here comes the warning. It says he almost certainly signs his own death warrant. And it says his drunkenness and disillusion are not penalties inflicted by people in authority. They result to his personal disobedience to spiritual principles. And when I read that, when I reading that, I wrote down in my journal, John, you better learn to adhere to spiritual principals. i did i understood the warning i heard it man and and and a little bit further on down and and it gets even better it says so we of aa do obey spiritual principles at first bless you at first bless you young man it says so we of a.a do obey spiritual principles at first because we must and ultimately because we love the kind of life that such obedience brings and it says great suffering and great love a.s disciplinarians we need no others and and the reason i mentioned that is because there was a time in my sobriety in my recovery when i noticed that i wasn't taking actions based on fear anymore. I was taking them out of love, and I don't know exactly what love for what. I know it's strange for me to have so much compassion and care and concern for other people. And I would be lying if I said that I've never worked with an alcoholic because I know that in order to keep it, I must give it away. I believe when you people say that. So I've taken that action in fear of this happening to me. And, and I can't say exactly the day when it happened, but I was no longer afraid, and I am not, and it's important that you know this. Beer, alcohol, liquor does not frighten me in any way, shape, or form today. I frighten me a lot of times. I scare me. But I don't take actions because I'm scared. I'm not even scared of the consequences that liquor causes me. And I mean that when I say it. I mean it when I say it, that the consequences would be exactly the same. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous saved me from an alcoholic death, and us alcoholics are not real good at dying immediately. We have a high threshold for pain and can take lots of pain. And let me tell you that I lived on the streets of Memphis, Tennessee long enough to where I could still be living on them now. I had learned how to stay warm and not freeze in the wintertime, and how to live outside and not burn up in the summertime. And I would still be livin' and dyin' that alcoholic death. And that does not scare me one bit today. Not one bit, and that's beautiful for me. That's beautiful Something had just come. You know what? It came to me, man. You know, the past couple of days I've never taken down notes or anything for me to read off of when I speak. But for the past few days, I've just been writing down words on Alex's and Sarah's invitation that they sent me. I go to meetings, just words. And you know what I love? In the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, it describes a great description of an alcoholic, and I love it. It says that when an alcoholic takes any alcohol whatsoever into his system, something happens. Is what it says. Is what is says. Something happens. Boy, is that powerful, man. Take it and run with it. Well, let me tell you. There's two sides to every coin, and let me tell you that when a person takes the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, so does something happen. So does something happened. When a person accepts what this program has to offer wholeheartedly, something happens. Something happens, and I'm more grateful for it than I am for anything. on this earth. Let me tell you that with the acceptance of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I'll tell you what a big piece for me was. When I came into AA, I was 24 years old and I had a three-year-old girl, a beautiful daughter, the most beautiful girl that's ever walk the earth. And I had seen her maybe once when I come into AA. And it hit me one day that all the love you have in your heart for your little girl, John, is not enough to keep you sober. And let me tell you, I have an amazing mom who would kill or die for me. And I love her more than anything on earth, man. But let me tell you I accepted one day that all the love that I have in my heart for my mama is insufficient to keep me separated from alcohol by itself. And you take both of those loves and put them together You'd have a whole lot of love. And that is still not good enough to keep me separated from alcohol. And I'll tell you, man, when you get through, and nobody said that to me, it hit me, but you get a sucker to accept that fact, and I promise you, you won't have to tell him twice. I'll give you that plus a couple of other things. You won't Have to tell that person twice to do anything. He'll be willing to take some suggestions, man. He will. And let me tell you, I can't go over and say everything that has happened to me in sobriety. I really wish that I could. I really wished that I would. I could, and it's important that I say it hasn't taken not one thing spectacular. I'm not capable of spectacular feats. I'm a very bright individual, if you ask me. I'm the brightest crayon in any box. And if you ask me, I'm kind of slow, man. But I'll tell you, I was real willing to do what somebody I knew was no longer suffering like I believed he told me he had. I was willing to take the same actions that he had taken to get free, to get freeman, to get free. And that's what I wanted. And let me tell you that it has been worth. And I would, I've made a lot more remains than just those two I spoke of. I've paid a lot money back than I have time to sit here and tell you guys. And let me tell you, I have not missed one, I hadn't had to miss one meal. I hadn' woke up one morning without having coffee in a Marlboro and Bob Dylan to listen to when I wake up in the morning. And no, that's okay. That's okay, thank you. Is that because y'all are Bob Dylan fans? No? Okay. But let me tell you that everything that I have done in order to get and stay sober, to say that it has been well worth it is not saying enough. It's not saying enough. I think that a gift that I'm given on a one day at a time basis, man, is I wake up in the morning and sometimes I'm reminded that that I have been this close to surrendering to a life in which I could fit my supper in two pockets. And if you eat out of a soup line or a soup kitchen, you can fit your entire supper in deux pockets. People ain't supposed to fit their supper in your pockets. That's not right, man. Your life is taking a wrong turn. when that's a fact in your life. And I'll tell you that I'm able to know that some people don't make it. The disease of alcoholism not only takes people's lives, It ruins entire families. And I am no exception. I'm no exception to that, man. And I see that as clear as it can be seen. And I know it. I just refuse. I refuse for some man to go to my mama and say he told me to tell you that he's sorry and he loves you. I'm not gonna let that be my life man I refuse to and I'm gonna close and you know what I hope that each and every person sitting in this room refuses to and takes takes what they want and let me tell you I was talking about it earlier when I was done drinking. It's not a man big enough in this room to have kept me from finding something different. I'm going to tell a joke and shut up, and this joke has a good point to it, so after I'm done with it, please let me tell you the point. There's a chapel service going on And it's about this big. And there's a priest, and he decides to have some fun on this day. And he says, out of all you people in this room, how many people have sex three times a year? And a large portion of the service raises their hands. And he said, okay, okay. Out of the rest of you, how may of you have sex only twice a year And about the other portion, the entire other half raised their hands. All of them were probably lying, but he said just to humor you guys, he said out of all of you, how many of you have sex only one time a year? And there's one guy in the back jumping and raising his hand. And the guy says, hold on, man, I don't think you understood me. He says, I said, how many of you have sex only one time a year? And he says, it's me, preacher, and it's today. It's today, preacher. It's going to be today. And I say that joke. I saythat joke because every day I wake up and the thing that comes to my mind is today is the day. Today is the day in which I can do something that will have an effect on the rest of my life. And I hope that each and every one of us in this room knows that he can do that, he and she can do it. He can do what he can't do that. Thank you all for allowing me to share with you. I'm glad to be here.