Why the Best Person to Take Advice From Is Not You – Mary P.

About This Speaker Tape

November 1999: a sister chokes in the passenger seat, her eyes roll back, and the world narrows to bumper-to-bumper traffic. Mary P. describes the wreckage of a life lived on adrenaline and "purposeful forgetting." She speaks with a jagged edge, recalling a marriage defined by violence and a "group conscience" in her head that once plotted her husband's murder. She describes the moment she nearly drowned him in a bathtub, only to be stopped by a voice reminding her she had become an animal to fight an illness.

From the "motorcycle mama" in leopard skin to a woman navigating the "continuous blackout" of her sister's brain injury, Mary traces her path through the grit. She admits she was a "spoiled kid" who turned her back on a Higher Power at twelve. Now, she finds sobriety in the paradoxes—the joy of new poodles and the tragedy of a ruined rug—and the hard-won truth that the best person to take advice from is not herself.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Laughter: Mary P. opens with a joke about her husband.
• 4:15 The trauma of her sister Dorothy's brain injury and the subsequent health scare.
• 10:30 Laughter: Stories about her miniature poodles and the 'redneck truck' bed.
• 14:45 The 'continuous blackout' of her sister's memory loss and the grocery store banana incident.
• 20:15 The story of beating up a neighbor with a bed slat as her 'first spiritual awakening'.
• 26:40 The violent cycles of her marriage and the 'hide and seek' of finding J.D. with other women.
• 32:10 The bathtub incident: Mary P. almost kills J.D. and the moment of clarity that follows.
• 38:50 J.D.'s first AA meeting and Mary P.'s leopard skin coat outfit.
• 44:10 Discussion of sponsorship and the value of the Big Book and 12 and 12.
• 51:20 The deep dive into her mother's history of abuse and their eventual reconciliation.
• 58:15 Reflections on the progressive nature of her sister's decline.
• 59:40 Closing remarks and Applause.