Why the Alcoholic Ego Heals Quick – Don P.

About This Speaker Tape

4th Texas Spring Conference - 1984

A federal penitentiary fish tank is where Don P. finally stopped trying to be a 'super freak' and started becoming a human being. After a lifetime of being a 'thief by nature' and a certified sociopath Don hit a wall in 1967 when his own mother refused to let him and his young children into the house for Christmas. He tried to kill himself with a cocktail of dope and booze but woke up the next morning to find the police waiting. He describes a brutal process of being chipped away like a block of marble moving from the arrogance of a 'high roller' in county jail to the humility of a man who shovels his father's walk and listens to his children's pain. His recovery is a gritty exercise in rigorous honesty moving past the 'garbage' of his ego to find a cause in the wreckage of his past.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Don P. opens with a joke about learning 'Texan' from his sponsor to fit in with the Dallas crowd.
• 12:15 Don describes the 'specific effects' of different alcohols: rum for love, vodka for toughness, and wine for poetry.
• 22:40 The 'miracle' of no longer wanting to be anywhere else but where he is.
• 35:10 The Christmas 1967 breaking point: his mother's refusal to let him in the house.
• 48:20 Laughter: Don discusses the 'rules' of lying to each other in county jail to survive.
• 55:15 Don's introduction to the 12 Steps in the 'fish tank' of the Colorado State Penitentiary.
• 1:12:00 Discussion of the 'alcoholic insanity' and the inability to think straight.
• 1:28:45 Step 4 and 5: The struggle with rigorous honesty and the 'garbage' written to impress his sponsor.
• 1:45:10 The emotional process of making amends to his father and mother.
• 2:05:30 The 'tough love' decision to put his son out into the 20-below zero cold.
• 2:18:00 Don's vision of the fellowship as a sculpture, with the Higher Power as the sculptor and the steps as the chisel.