Why the 12 and 12 is Better Than the Big Book – Sandy B.

About This Speaker Tape

1950, Yale. Sandy B. is in tails, clutching a coffee cup that spins on his finger before he falls off his chair and wets his pants. While the old-timers were in Cleveland drafting the Traditions, Sandy was mastering the art of the blackout. He describes a life fueled by "gin and guilt," a Connecticut Yankee raised in a stoic home who felt fundamentally inadequate, imagining a scorecard in purgatory for thoughts he hadn't even acted on yet.

A Marine jet pilot who flew for twelve years, Sandy eventually became a shell of a man, wearing sunglasses to hide the fact that "there's no one in that man." The wreckage peaked in a hangar during the Kennedy assassination ceremony, where he stood shaking and soaking wet with perspiration, terrified to salute the flag. After a ground-mouse seizure in a classroom and a stint in a "nut ward" crib, he found a Higher Power. He credits his sobriety to the simple act of not drinking, noting that it's hard to have a spiritual awakening while throwing up.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction of Sandy B. and his current life as a legislative liaison in DC.
• 5:15 Sandy B. discusses his preference for the 12 and 12 over the Big Book.
• 8:40 Laughter: The story of the junior prom at Yale and the 'warning buzzer' before a blackout.
• 14:20 Discussion of childhood inadequacy and the 'relationship with guilt' from Catholic schooling.
• 21:10 The 'looking glass' effect: how the first drink made a hostile world suddenly feel brotherly.
• 28:30 Career as a Marine Corps jet pilot and the onset of physical symptoms.
• 33:15 The agony of the JFK assassination ceremony and the inability to salute.
• 38:40 The 'nut ward' experience and the realization of unmanageability while watching a Navy commander.
• 43:10 Getting into AA 'under pressure' and the early days of sponsorship.
• 51:20 The philosophy of 'the straight and narrow' and the role of pain in spiritual growth.
• 56:10 Step 10: The 'zoom lens' metaphor for daily inventory.
• 62:00 Step 11: Learning meditation like a foreign language and the closing prayer.