Why He Stopped Comparing and Started Identifying – Dave H.

About This Speaker Tape

Ruston , Louisianna, March 1999 - 1999

A brick thrown through a storm door missing a baby by inches serves as the wreckage Dave H. remembers from his first marriage. He spent years oscillating between blackouts and a deep gnawing sense of difference eventually living in his car and throwing bottles at cops just to see if they'd actually arrest him. After a series of failed attempts to stay sober through sheer will or by attending meetings without working the steps Dave H. found a lifeline in a sponsor who pushed him toward the Big Book and the actual program. He moved from the grocery business to a dynamite factory and eventually to Tyler Texas where he discovered that the only way to stop the cycle of bad checks and broken promises was to stop comparing himself to others and start identifying with the wreckage. He now views his house and car as things held on loan from a Higher Power.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Dave H. opens with jokes about his wife and the hospitality committee's fruit basket.
• 5:15 Discussion of childhood and the feeling of being 'different' from his family.
• 12:40 The brick through the storm door: a turning point of shame and a failed promise to quit.
• 20:10 Laughter: Dave H. describes the chaos of his second marriage where both partners were drinking.
• 28:30 The deathbed promise to his father and the immediate trip to the liquor store.
• 35:15 First experiences with AA meetings and the trap of comparing instead of identifying.
• 45:00 The 'dry heaves' and the spiritual awakening that comes from hitting a physical bottom.
• 55:20 The importance of sponsorship and the danger of 'half-measures' in early recovery.
• 68:10 The story of sponsoring Tammy and the 'program of attraction'.
• 82:00 Reflections on his relationship with his daughters and the role of a Higher Power.
• 95:40 Closing thoughts on the history of AA and the necessity of one-on-one work over just attending meetings.