Why He’d Rather Be Stupid Than Too Smart to Get Sober – Cecil C.

This man doesn't only come to talk or come to speak. When he comes to a convention, brother, he comes to a Convention. He doesn't miss anything. All the spiritual meetings, everything, he makes them all. I can't think of a person that I would rather have the privilege of introducing M.C.C., from Saskatchewan. My name is C.S. Corrigal from Prince Albert, Saskatchean, Canada and I'm very grateful to be here. I think this is real prestige to be even invited back to Texas. And when I talk about prestige, I was over in... Sorry, my friend. I'll knock them all off their chairs before the night's out, don't worry. When I first met Bob, it was over on the beach over in Alexandria, Louisiana. And it was a day that the boys landed on the moon and everybody was quite impressed with the whole deal and so was I except that I was the only one sitting out at the pool because I didn't know what was going on. Everybody was watching television and I was taking advantage of that nice warm air and the next morning when we were having breakfast they got into a talk about prestige and one chap from Louisiana said well I would like to be one of those boys that landed on the moon and I'd like to come back to New York and ride down the streets of New York in a convertible with the eyes and the ears of the world on me and he said I think that's real prestige and I agreed with him. I shook my head and thought well I'm a Canadian I'll just I was the only Canadian there amongst those Cajuns I thought I'd just keep quiet and listen And another one said Well, my idea of prestige He said I wouldn't really have liked to have been Lyndon Johnson The day the late President Kennedy was assassinated He said But He said I think that's prestige where they just say Lyndon, old boy, you're it You know No election, no nothing You're just president He said That to me is prestige so I thought I guess that is you know and then they threw a curve at me they said what do you think Canada and I thought for a moment and then I said well I'll tell you I'd like to be out at Southern California speaking at a convention and I'd love I'd have a fellow out there by the name of Chuck as the chairman and there's a couple of new members sitting out in front and one of them said to the other one hey buddy who's that gray haired old fellow sitting up there with C. Scorgle from Prince Albert's sketch and I'll tell you that's quite a rise for Chuck because I usually use the Pope in that story and Chuck has just made it but to show you that I am not scared of Chuck at midnight tonight I challenge him we're going to walk across the pool and we're gonna prove it once and for all who can do it to get a good seat and there's something else that i'd like to do tonight you know i tell a story about a parrot and there's a lot of people been trying to tell this story and don't tell me you haven't because I've been listening to some of your tapes and I don't mind you telling the story if you tell it right you know it's quite that's prestige when somebody steals your story but Otto he really fouls it up but for Billy's sake and you people know Billy Billy has heard the story 27 times by me I don't know how many times you've told it to her and she doesn't understand it and so for no other reason but just because of Billy from Dallas I'm going to tell the story again and if I don' if she doesn' understand it tonight I'd like somebody to take her out by the pool and explain it to him it seems this dear old lady bought a parrot and she paid a lot of money for this parrot and she got this parrot home and she found out that the parrot couldn't talk and she was a wealthy Texan and you know like most of you people and it just didn't really upset her it wasn't the money idea it was the idea that somebody sold her a parrot that couldn't speak so she set about instead of taking the parrot back she set up trying to teach the parrot how to speak and finally she got the parrot to say three words. And those three words were, who is it? And all day long the parrot would go around, who's it? Who's it! Who is it! And you know the old lady used to get a little upset but she was kind of proud of herself that she taught the parrot how to talk so she put up with it. But one day she went downtown and when she's downtown a knock came to the door. Parrot said who is it?" Voice came back and says, it's the plumber. Parrot says, who is it? And he says, It's the Plumber! Parrot said, Who is it?! And he said, It' s the Plummer. P-L-U-M-B-E-R Plumber. Now Otto that is how to spell plumber because Otto doesn't even know I'd have found Plummer. Parrot says, who is it? And the old Plummer, he wasn't on the program and he completely lost his cool and serenity. And he said, look it. You asked me to be here today. I told you I couldn't come. He said, you insisted. You said it was an emergency, so I'm here. Open the door. Let me in. I'll get the job done and be on my way. Parrot said, who's it? and the old plumber he couldn't stand it anymore he just faded dead away and he's laying there in front of the door and the dear old lady comes home and she looked down at him and she said who is it? and out of the house comes a voice that says it's the plumber I think Billy got the joke another miracle well I guess I'm not the plumber I'm your speaker all the way from Canada and I imagine I hope that some of you people came to hear me on Friday night usually I'm the spiritual speaker on Saturday morning Sunday morning when I come to Texas but it seems you have imported somebody else and I can promise you he'll touch briefly on the spiritual side last time I heard him was in talking the spiritual side was at Brownwood one hour and fifty-eight minutes and he told us about the spiritual side that's before I talked Sunday morning he talked on Saturday night Chuck is quite a guy he was talking one time up in our country on a Saturday night and somebody said what comes after Chamberlain and somebody in the front row says Tuesday another time he was going on and on and on and somebody said my god he's talking pretty good tonight and Chuck says I'm sorry I don't know what time it is and somebody said look behind you there's a calendar Chuck is going to talk on Sunday morning and as I said my name is Cease and I'm an alcoholic and I'm very grateful to be here more grateful than you'll ever know and when they talk about gratitude I don't think that there's anybody in the room more qualified to talk about gratitude than I am because I've been in Alcoholics Anonymous for 20 years and I say that not in a bragging way I say it in a very grateful way for you see I was one of those fortunate people that came to Alcoholics Anonymous 20 years ago when there weren't too many young people around and I was one of the most fortunate people that people took by the hand and led them down this road of sobriety and I'd been down that road of alcoholism I don't think my drinking was any different than yours probably the only difference was is that when I was coming up one back alley you were probably coming down the other I came from a very good home I came from a poor home I from a spiritual home I went into the service when I was 16 years of age. I didn't go into the service because I wanted to go into this service, I went into the service because i didn't like the discipline in my home, I didn' t like the discipline of my church and I didn''t like the disciple in my school. And I can understand the teenagers today because I know what they're going through because I had those same feelings. And I ran away from discipline. But I was much smarter than the teenagers of today. Well, I ran way from discipline and I ran into the army. And they showed me what discipline really was. But, I would suggest if there's any teenagers in the crowd and you want to run away from this and try that army bit. It helps. And the first night I went into the army I had my first drink that I'd ever had to my knowledge. And it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I became a different person. I became... a muscle man. I became a great dancer that night, Canada's own Fred Astaire. I I became the best looking guy on the floor and then a horrible thing happened the next morning. I woke up in those armories and I was just that little farm boy, 16 years of age, scared with all of those fears that I had the night before before I took the drink but I found out that alcohol had something to offer me It had an answer to these problems that I had. I became an instructor in that service, and I thought it was a great thing. And I was a good instructor because I was just out of school. I was willing to learn. I wanted to be a good soldier. However, I got kicked out of the Army after being in it only 17 months I went back to my hometown and I got a job it paid too much money and I drank too much booze and I got too much responsibility in this job and once again I ran and I ran back into the service. I told him I'd never been in before and I was a genius. I became an instructor immediately. I got recommended for my commission, and I was only 18 years of age. However, I got kicked out of the army once again before officers training. I went back and I worked in a newspaper in the advertising department. I sold advertising. Once again, I got too much responsibility in this job and I ran and I run into the Navy. I went through officers training immediately. And I was a good athlete. I took part in all athletic deals in the service. I got kicked out of officers training. I didn't get kicked out of the Navy, I just got kicked out of officers training and it wasn't very nice but I was glad that I got kicked out because I really didn't want the responsibility of becoming an officer. I liked the conversational bit that I was in officers training but I can remember when I got kicked out of officers training and it wasn't very serious I didn't think you see I told a an officer what he could do with a ship it was a big ship and when I was in Florida about four or five weeks ago I looked at one of those ships out in the ocean and I realized it's a physical impossibility what I told him to do with that ship. And I went as a gunner on a merchant ship and I sailed and drank all over the world. I met many of your boys and I drank with them and I loved, I loved the Navy. I loved going from here and going to there and not knowing where you were going and not know what you doing and drinking. And it was a good life, so I thought. And I was telling Ray a story and I never wanted to tell this story before in Texas because I thought everybody knew it. Because this is the way I was. This story is about a big Texan, naturally. And he said that when he died he wanted to be buried behind the big wheel of his big Cadillac with his big Stetson hat on. And finally even Texans died, and he died. And the funeral parlor fixed him up and then they sat him behind this big wheel at this big Cadilac with a big Stetson hat on and they got this big tow truck and they towed him out to this big huge graveyard and they had a big funeral and they lowered this big Cadillac with his big Texan with his big Texas Stetson hat on down into this big grave and they had this big service and finally everybody left except this drunken grave digger and he started to throw the mud in and he looked down and he was half in a bag and he look down and heaving this mud in and here's this big Texan sitting behind this big wheel of this big Cadillac car with his big Stetson hat on dead and this little guy said boy that's really living and that's what I thought I was doing I thought I was really living when I was going down this road of alcoholism and I got to tell you a story as I told you my name is Cease and I told ya I sailed with a lot of your people and when we were down in Melbourne, Australia one time one of your ships was torpedoed and they salvaged it Pulled it back into port and it was loaded with tanks not drunken tanks, but tanks that were supposed to go up to New Guinea and We were the only ship that was Empty and the government ordered us to take your tanks. I remember that your tax up to new guinea And we went up and we'd taken a cargo liquor down for your troops 10,000 tons of it down to Melbourne Australia and we'd stolen a little bit I hadn't but some of the rest hadn't bored so and we went up to New Guinea with your tanks and I'd like you to remember that it was your tank and we took your tanks in there those Japanese people weren't too they were a little narrow about it shot at us and everything but we took them in your tanks and when we're coming back out we had to be drinking because this was a tough situation and for our nerves we had the time to drink and we're going back into Australia and our own aircraft came out to meet us to escort us back in and the captain was half in the bag too and he'd been drinking he stole some booze too I guess and he sees these planes and he was still trigger happy so he ordered us to open fire and we started shooting at our own planes and suddenly our gunnery officer realized that it's our own plane and he got really excited I don't know why we weren't hitting him anyway but I was in charge of this big gun I wasn't always in charge or something I was incharge of this big gun and I'm right down in front of the bridge this is the bridge and I am right down there and I'am really firing and suddenly the gunner officer realizes we are shooting at our own planes and he gets real panicky and he's got this big megaphone and you have to visualize this he's screaming down at me. He's got this big megaphone and he yells into it, Cease fire! So I fired. Got kicked out of the Navy, became an alcoholic and here I am. I went back home after the war and I got married while I was in the service. Beautiful little girl back in Canada. And I wish I could tell you that I led her a good life, but I didn't. I went back and I started to get jobs and I decided to lose jobs and I start doing what every alcoholic does or most of them that I've met. And when I was 25 years of age, I went into business for myself. I had a partner. My wife had a little bit of money. I found a partner with some experience and we went into business and we were in business for four months and I ended up with the experience and he ended up with the money but I tell you this because it was sort of a turning point in my life I was 25 years of age my wife kicked me out took our two little girls went home to mommy and I went down to tell my partner about it and he threw me out of the business and I can remember that day like as if it was yesterday it was 1950 and I was standing on the street corner of this small little town in Saskatchewan and a guy came along and he said do you want a ride and I said I sure do and he asked me and he says which way are you going and I say it doesn't matter let's just go and I'm 25 years of age well he drove me back to my hometown of Prince Albert, Saskatchewan and that night I had heard about Alcoholics Anonymous and so that night I went to a meeting and I went nobody took me I just went I knew where the meeting was I walked in I sat down and listened because I'd heard about some guys that had sobered up through this wonderful thing of AlcoholicsAnonymous and I tell this story because I hope this never happens to any young people in the audience and I hope that some of us older people don't do this to people for that night I heard every speaker get up it was a discussion meeting that went on for about two and a half hours and everyone told about how much they drank they told about the difficulties they got into they told me they told them about the jails they told him about the mental hospitals they told her about the divorces they told everything and they told my how to drink but nobody told me how in hell to stay sober and the only thing that I got from that meeting and I'm not saying this unkindly the only think that I got from the meeting was that I had about another 15 years to drink and I walked out of that meeting and thank God I only lasted for two years the last two years that I drank cost me a lot of money cost people a lot heartache my wife had come back to me she couldn't get along without me and she came back and I became a fighter that last year my drinking I had 17 fights 17 knockouts and I lost them all and they weren't fights in rings they were just fights anywhere that anybody wanted to fight I was a fighter and I tell the story about being a fighter because it's fighting that brought me to you people for I told you that when I drank I got muscles and the last night that I drank I was in a poker game was also a gambler and it didn't matter whose money i used incidentally and this night i had lost all of my money or all of somebody else's money and a big fellow that weighed 265 pounds took exception to something i said that i didn't have enough money or something and he looked like he weighed about 118. and I told him that I didn't want any of his hogwash and we had a fight or he had a fight. He hit me and I hit the floor and I jumped up and he hit me and I hate the floor, and this kept up and it kept up for quite a while I guess and finally I hit the floor I didn' t come back up for him to hit me again and the fight was over and I lay there and to show you today I mean I'm quite a respected citizen in the city I live in thank God for that and thanks to you people but to show you what things were like then when that fight was all over they just left me lying on that old floor nobody picked me up they stepped over me I guess finally one guy by the name of Jack Stewart Jack is a very good buddy of mine today he picked me and put me to bed in that hotel and the next day I went to a friendly doctor and I say a friendly Doctor because I hear many people criticizing doctors and this doctor put me in hospital and I was black and blue the buttons were ripped off my shirt my shirt was torn my suit was torn and I went through hospital and in that hospital that is where I found you people for the fifth day that i was in the hospital the doctor sat on my bedside and he said cease there is nothing that i can do for you nothing more i built you up physically now it's up to you and i said well what what should i do and he said well since i was into service with you i figured that you were an alcoholic then You're worse now, and I would suggest that you join Alcoholics Anonymous. But he didn't leave it at that. He didn't lead me to go out to try to find you people. He brought them to me. He phoned them and told them to come to see me. And they came to see us. They came to me, and they'll never forget the guys that came to see me one guy was a guy by the name of Bill. bill w as a matter of fact not the bill w but it was bill w and he came and this guy was the sloppiest drunk in all of canada and this night he came and he was beautiful and he was dressed up and i can still see him he had on a brown suit silk shirt the bow tie and he's clean and his hair was combed He didn't have to talk because I knew something had happened to Bill. And the other guy was a guy by the name of Earl. And he'd been in a penitentiary. I'd been into service with him and he'd got in some trouble. When he came back from the service, he did five years in a Penitentiory for robbery with violence while he was drunk. And he found Alcoholics Anonymous in that Penitenciary. and he too didn't have to talk because I knew something had happened to him but they talked and they talked loud incidentally I had a private ward that I got with a bad check and I was living high class and they taught to me and I thought the whole hospital was listening but they told me about you people and I got out of hospital and I went to my first meeting on a Saturday night, January the 16th, 1952. And it was a beautiful meeting. They had a social first. And they played stupid games like pin the tail on the donkey. And I really and truly I thought that some of them were drinking. And I sniffed a few of them because Saturday night was a night that it wasn't the night for me that you did it without drinking. Saturday night was my night to howl. And I just couldn't understand because I knew most of these people. I come from a town of 28,000 and I knew most of them. And there they were playing these stupid little games. And finally they had a meeting. Some guy stood up and he said he'd been sober a year. And I sat in the back and thought to myself, liar. Couldn't have been much of a drunk if he could stay sober for a year. Goes out on the road, I knew he's a traveler, he said he probably drinks on the road and comes back and tells these ginks that he's been sober. After the meeting they took me in another room and I can remember the words that they said those dear old fellas and none of them had been in Alcoholics Anonymous too long. They said cease there are no musts in Alcoholics Anonymous but they said there's a meeting here tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock and you must be here and I've never stopped going and that's why I say I am grateful for you see I have seen a lot of people that have stopped going. You know, we have a problem in Alcoholics Anonymous today and I'll tell you about it in a little while. We're losing a lot of people. And I went into that group and I was the youngest man, the youngest member, and it was great. They patted me on the back and they told me what a great fellow I was. I was the youngest member in Saskatchewan and we went everywhere and everybody said you know it's good to see you're doing so well they let me talk and they did everything to me I broke my anonymity to everybody to tell them how great horrible I was and mostly to bank managers and finance companies what had happened to me in this wonderful thing of Alcoholics Anonymous and I enjoyed it the fellowship it was beautiful and then a horrible thing happened some younger members came in and you know what they did they walked right by me and they went to the older members and you now you know what the older members did they walked right by me and they went to the newer members and I stood there like a hole in a donut I was nothing and when I say we're losing members we are losing members who are middle members that become nothing and I see it all of the time and I also notice something in Alcoholics Anonymous when somebody goes back to drinking after maybe four or five, six years I don't know what it is they have a tough time to get back to this fellowship but what is happening to them is I don't know what it is whether we're not keeping them active enough or whether the same thing is happening the newer members not talking to them or the older members not talk to them but it's becoming a problem and I want you to look around and look in your group and see that and you'll notice it's become a problem because we're losing those middle members and I don' t think it's so important tonight that I sit and talk to somebody that's just coming into this program although they are the most important people, they tell me. But I think it's very important to me for me to talk to somebody later on tonight that's having those problems and been a middle member because these are the people that we are losing in Alcoholics Anonymous. About this time I found a great void in my life for you see up until this time I had stayed sober by the pats on the back by the fellowship by driving around to roundups and conventions and the big hugging and kissing and rubbing up against you know all of those things they were great but all of a sudden when you become nothing with you beautiful people it becomes a tough situation and then a wonderful thing happened we had a guy that has now passed away his name was Ernie and we asked Ernie to be chairman and Ernie said well I'll be chairman if you promise me to do one thing and we said what is that and he said well the only way I'll been chairman is if we will go through the steps and not only go through the steps but we will do them that we will start at step 1 and we will go right through to step 12 each and every week we'll take a step and we'll do it and he said I don't care who comes into Alcoholics Anonymous we won't go back to step one we will sponsor them properly and we will look after them and we'll go through and we do all of these steps in sequence and we thought well we'll humor Ernie and we'd go along with it and we did thank God we did and we took a look at those steps at that first and beautiful step we admitted we're powerless over alcohol and you know I had never looked at the second part that my life had become unmanageable I just looked at the first step, first part and really and truly there's nothing to that first step by what I've told you you know that I shouldn't have any problem with step one but the unmanagability of my life after I came into Alcoholics Anonymous all I did when I came to you people was I admitted I was sick and then I found out that I had to get well and I don't care if you're an Al-Anon Alateen or Alcoholics Anonymous to me the only answer is and this is not some stupid thing that I brought from Canada this comes from a stupid book that I bought in United States called A Big Book and a 12 by 12 you know so please don't say that I'm bringing some propaganda down from Canada. I found out that I had an unmanageable life in managing money and I mention this because there just might be one or two that is having this problem. Well you see financial problems have nothing to do with money Think that one over. For me it was because I wanted to be a big shot, because I had a tremendous ego, because i wanted to impress people. I wanted to buy my way in and some may say well I did that when I was drinking too. I didn't only do that when i was drinking, I did that after I was off the sauce. I would go into a place say to buy a Chesterfield. Guy takes $369, they'd say haven't you got anything around 700? You know, I couldn't pay for the $365 one. I owed $6,200 when I came to this fellowship. That was in 1952. That's a lot of money. It's a lot of because I just didn't owe it for anything. I just owed it, you know. And that's a problem and when you go to pay it back it causes a little resentment I'll tell you and I don't want any I just I just don't want any medals for paying that money back because in Canada they make sure you pay it you know we talk about those amends they're not very serious in Canada there's they got little fellas that come along and they collected but this was a problem I had and if I owed thirty dollars and somebody phoned me up I'd say be right down. I could never go down and say sir, can I pay you ten? Pay another ten next payday? And no, I was the big shot. And this is in Alcoholics Anonymous! This isn't when I'm drunk and I know none of you people have done it. My idea is to share my experience with you and I just hope that maybe if somebody runs into this in the future they'll know how I am. For you see, today things are a little bit different because of you people and because of this program. I'll tell you what happened not too long ago. I owed a manufacturer $10,000. In my business that's not a lot of money to owe a manufacturer. But in the middle of July when it's a hundred and a shade and you're not selling any of your merchandise I'm in the fur coat business and the fella I just thought I'd throw that in and and the and the fellow phones you and tells he wants his money well it's back and I wrote him a letter and I told him that it was the wrong time of the season I couldn't pay the money but I had a little philosophy in life that said if you had to walk down a railroad track 10 miles, if you looked at the 10 miles it looked like a long ways to go. But if you took it a telephone pole at a time it would take a little longer but you'd finally get there. And I signed it yours truly Cease Lee Corgal Manager, Cease Corgal Fur Clinic. P.S. I am enclosing a certified check for $100 he wrote back a letter to me beautiful letter I still have it in my office congratulated me on my letter-writing ability suggested that I get out of the fur business go into public relations and write letters signed it yours truly Moe Amsel manager Amsel & Amsel Montreal P.S. would you mind sending another telephone pole? So you see it works. I don't owe Moe Amsel any money today. I paid him off a telephone pole, but I paid them off because step one and the rest of these steps taught me how to do these things and once again i say i only mention that because this is a problem i had in an unmanageable life and i had many other areas of my life but it was unmanagable then it says came to believe that the power greater than ourselves could restore society immediately i thought i've never been in a mental hospital how can i be insane how can I come back from somewhere I haven't been and then somebody start telling me about negative thinking there are areas in my life that is unmanageable then it says came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity immediately i thought i've never been in a mental hospital how can i be insane how can I come back from somewhere I haven't been and then somebody start telling me about negative thinking and they said see think of the things that you thought think of the things that you think today and you've had an unmanageable life and here you can find a manager and you can be restored to sanity and i didn't like that but they talked me into it and we were going through the steps and trying to do them so i said okay and and i did have an un manageable life and i was sort of insane i can remember one time i went to get a big job i always went to get big jobs i went to a neighboring city and i had this interview set up and i went to the wrong hotel and i got drunk i stayed there for three days and i went home i never saw the people that i had the interview with for this big job my wife said how did it go and i said good now there's nothing wrong with that i had to say something she asked me a question and she said well what happened and i said well i'm just waiting for a letter there's really nothing wrong with that either I mean, you know after all it's just making conversation but when you start going to the mailbox every morning looking for the letter you know and coming back in and saying you know I don't know what's wrong with these people they just don't recognize my talent they didn't even know I existed and so I would think that maybe I had a little bit of insanity speaking of negative thinking you know reminds me of a story and the reason I tell this story is because Ray Kenny and I went over to the to the hair stylist in Dallas the last time I was down here cost Ray seventeen dollars it cost me eighteen dollars because I tipped the guy Ray doesn't know enough to tip he went home and Billy said that he he looked like the ugliest one of the three stages he hasn't gone back there since but it reminds me of a story about a guy that went into a barber just a $1.75 barber not a $17 one he went in and and he said I want a haircut that's going to last me for three weeks and the guy said why three weeks and he says well I'm going on a trip and he asked where are you going and he told first of all I'm gonna go to London, England he said you're not going to London England he said I am he said you're nice he said I am and he did I don't know he said, I've never been there. He said, but I wouldn't go there if I were you. He said, well why? And he said oh, he says it's a bad place, too many people he said. He said no, I don't know, I just heard it this way. I've never been here myself. Well he said I don' care if I don like it, I'm going on to Paris. He says you're not going to Paris! He said I am! He says, you're not! He say I am. He say, well I wouldn' go there if I was you. They want the tourist money. He said I dunno, I have never been ther. But I've heard that they want the tourist money and he said i just wouldn't there if i were you The guy said well look it, i don't care he said I'm goin' on to Rome if i don' like it. He He said, you're not going to Rome. And he said, I am. And he says, you are not. And he say, I AM. And he saith, well, he said I wouldn't go there. He said amongst those Catholics. And he look at the guy and says, I don't care. I'm a Catholic. Yeah, but they are different kind of Catholics. And he sais, I wouldn'y go there He says, no, I haven't been there. But he says I've heard it. So the guy goes anyway. And he comes back three weeks later. He sits in the barber chair. In the barber's chair, the barber says, how was the trip? And he says, great. And he ses, it wasn't. He said it was. He said you didn't go to England. And he said, I did. I went to London. He says, you didn't. He says it did. And he says, well, you didn't like it. And he say, I didn't and he said the people were nice to me and he says there were a lot of people there but he said the traffic was great but I walked on the sidewalks and he said I'd love to have stayed there longer but I wanted to go on to Paris. He says you didn' t go to Paris and he says I did and he says they didn't and he say they did and how did they treat you? They treated me great and he says they did and he says yes they did and he said I would love to have stayed there a little longer. He said, but I wanted to go on to Rome. He says, you didn't go to Rome? And he says, I did! And he said, you didn't! And she said, I'm dead! And as a matter of fact, a wonderful thing happened. He says I got an audition with the Pope and he says you're dead! He says you're a dead soul! And he said, when a funny thing happened, he said, When I bent down to kiss the Pope's ring he said you know what he said? And the guy said, What? And she says, Where the hell did you get that lousy haircut? So I guess some of us were negative thinkers. But I accepted that second step and I went on with that third step and it says, made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand it. I'm going to tell you something right now. I was stupid I was so stupid that I did what these people told me to do they told me that I had an unmanageable life and they told me in step two I could find a manager in step three they told me to make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand it and you know I don't know about you people but I have a tough time making a decision I still have as a matter of fact before I come up here tonight I was trying to decide whether I should go to the bathroom or not and right now I don't know whether I've made the right decision or not but it's a made a decision so in step one if I had an unmanageable life step two I found a manager and step three I turned my will and my life over to the care of this manager and that's the way I had to do it when I say I was stupid thank God I was stupid because I've met a lot of educated real wise people in this program who weren't stupid enough to do what I did and they were so smart they were stupid they didn't do it they got drunk or there were an Al-Anon or they're an Alateen and they couldn't see the necessity of all this nonsense and thank God i was stupid enough to do it and then it said made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and I looked at the book and we studied it and I found out that I had to write it down some of you are going to say that's not necessary and that's right it's not necessarily if you don't want what this program has to offer you don'T have to do a thing that's the wonderful thing about it you DON'T have to do it but I was stupid enough once again to do it. And you know the toughest thing about step four is getting the pencil and the paper. Once you get that pencil and paper, and I don't care whether you're an Al-Anon, Alateen or Alcoholics Anonymous once again, once you get the pencil in the paper it's easy to start to write but it's difficult to write if you haven't got a pencil and a paper. So some of you may say like I felt that there's nothing wrong with me. Write that down, nothing. Right underneath it, write down that you're a liar and you've got to start. And don't do like some people do. Don't write down your life history or something and make it. Go by the book. Go by that stupid book that I bought from the United States. Tells you how to do it, tells you what's bothering us, talks about resentment, talks about fears, talks for sex. All of those things are in that big book. I don't have to tell you what to do about step four, I think you all know. But I can tell you this that if you take step four you'll have no trouble taking step five but you're going to have a tough time taking step 5 if you haven't taken step 4 for you see some people say well why do I have to do this I can remember one time I was chairing a meeting at a penitentiary back home one of the inmates said the same thing and I tried to tell him why he should do step five. And I couldn't get through to him. There was a fellow sitting in the audience who was helping me with the steps, the name of Hartley. And Hartley said you know Clarence was the name this guy. He said Clarency if you were standing at the bottom of a hill and you were wondering what was over on the other side of that hill he said I could tell you anybody else could tell you but unless you climbed up that hill and look down you would never really know what was on the other side of the hill so he said why don't you take it and then argue and the guy said he'd take it and if you want to argue with any the steps, do them and then argue. Don't argue before you do them. Step five is a beautiful step and I can promise you that you will find contentment and you will be able to walk comfortably in this program if you take these steps in sequence and then it comes to step six and it says we're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character you look at a 12 by 12 the first line in 12 by twelve says this is the step that separates the man from the boy well you see we really haven't done too much found out we had an unmanageable life found out if we could find a manager we found out what we could turn our will and our lives over to the care of this manager we took an inventory of ourselves we went and wrapped off to somebody else about how great we were how bad we were and then we come and it says this is the step that separates the men from the boys we're entirely ready and I can't think of a better time to take step six than immediately after you take step five because this is a time and this is what it suggests in the book did you find a quiet time and you read step six and seven. Step seven says humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings. You know a lot of us are afraid of becoming too good too fast, don't be. I'm privileged to be doing this practically every weekend and I meet a lot you people and I haven't met any Saints as yet. So don't be afraid to do, Niecy. And you know we have many, many discussions about humility. We kid about it a lot. Humility to me is very, very simple thing. It's the ability to stand and the willingness to kneel. Well you see I can't be humble no how unless I can get down on my knees. And I learned this from dear old Shy Walker and Shy's now dead, and I was New York delegate 1958 or 57 or something like that. I was a New York Delegate with Shy Walker and Shy told us a story about how he'd come out of a penitentiary and how everybody had told him to pray and how he couldn't get down on his knees and he told how one night quite by accident he was wearing high-top boots and he kicked them underneath the bed and he told how the next morning he had to get down on his knee to get his boots out from under the bed. And he told how he thought seeing he was down there he should say a few words and he told how every night he booted those boots under the beds so that the next morning he could pray. Some of you may laugh, but I tried it. I didn't have high-top boots, but I had ordinary shoes and I kicked them under the bed and it worked. I don't have to do it anymore. I can get down on my knees in the morning and I can thank God at night by getting down on my knees. Some people may say that that's been a sissy. I'll tell you something, if that's Vinnisissi. I sure love Vinnississi, I just love it. Then it says made a list of all the people we'd harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Once again it tells us to get the pencil and the paper. You may say well you don't have to and I don't know how you can make a list if you haven't got the pencil in the paper, just don't how you could do that. All of you ladies I'm sure when you go to the grocery store. When you go anywhere, you're making a list. Why is it when we come into this program and they tell us what to do that we don't want to do it? That's all it asks us to do in step eight is to make the list and become willing. And then in step nine it tells us to make direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. And why does it tell us to do that? because you see I think that every one of us is very self-centered those of us who are afflicted with alcoholism and every one of us if we're Al-Anon or Alateen or Alcoholics Anonymous we all are and we all become very self centered and what do these steps do what they did to me is they started to whittle some of this self-centredness off me and they whittled me down the sign you know the toughest amendment I had to make was a lousy three dollar amend one night I was sitting in a beer parlor a high class beer parler incidentally there wasn't anybody else there took a high class it was a couple of guys walked in and they asked me to have a beer and I had a beer with them I didn't have any money they asked me to go to a hockey game and I told him I didn t have any money that left my wallet at home and they took me to this hockey game and they got a 12 pack of beer and they sat me in the back of their car with the 12 pack of beer when I got out they said lock the door well I got up I didn't lock the door I lost them in the crowd and I went back and I took the case of beer I went down to this army navy place where I used to drink and somebody stole it from me and I raised particular health you know I said things like this here I am you know a disabled veteran come into this place and a bunch of thieves. They steal my beer. Next day I met these fellas and they said to me, what happened to you? Last night we lost you. And I said, there's a big crowd there. I didn't know what happened to you. I lost you in the crowd. They said, a funny thing happened. They said, somebody stole the beer. And i said, isn't this awful? Here we are, little town 28,000. It's just like Detroit or Chicago. All of these boosters around, you know. Can't see me you know because i was a high class pony and then i sobered up and one of these guys came into the store i was working at one day and he borrowed ten dollars from it and one night i was coming from a drive-in theater with my wife and she asked me to go in and get some cigarettes for in his cafe and i went in and these two guys were sitting there this one guy hollered at me and he said here's a ten dollars oh yeah and i thought well it's now or never because you see I met these guys every time I came around the corner and I said how much is a case of beer and they said what do you want with a case of beer since you've stopped drinking I said yeah but just just how much is a piece of beer they said well look at this we like you this way never mind and then I said it I said well I was the one that stole your beer the night that we went to the hockey game. And then they wouldn't believe me. I wish I'd known that. I dropped on $3 and I left. Some of you may say, what was so great about that? Does that lousy $3 amount? I'll tell you what was so great. What was so good about it? You see, I had to admit that I was a thief, a foul ball, a phone in a cheat and a liar but the greatest thing about it is those two fellas still live in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan I still meet them when I come around a corner they still grin at me but I grin back and you see that's how you get comfortable and then it says continue to take a personal inventory and when we're wrong promptly admit it. This is something that each and every day I have to do. Thank God I can do it, thank God people taught me to do it and God taught me to do this. I can talk about step 10 because, and I like talking about it, for you see when I was in Alcoholics Anonymous for ten years I forgot who I I was and what I was where I'd come from. I was working for a man who was the wealthiest man in my city, and I decided that he was going to be the second wealthiest men. And one day he decided that he didn't need my services anymore because the store was too small for the two of us and I had a big job and I got fired and I had a little cousin Chuck knew her she was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and she died last summer of cancer a little friend I don't think she just came to see me I think she was sent to see me. I think she's one of the very few people that could have talked to me at that time. But I can remember I was going to go with dear old Dave and Chuck knew dear old David, he's now passed on. I was going to go to him to a roundup in Flin Flon, Manitoba. Old Dave came to take me because he knew I was having problems. And I can remeber going downtown and buying a brand new suit and going down to see my little cousin standing up in front of her in my big egotistical way and saying well kid how do I look and Fern said these few words and I'm going to share them with you and I share them every time that I speak because of the words that brought me back to you wonderful people she said you look real good on the outside see but how are you really on the inside and I went to that convention and old Dave didn't talk to me I drove the car and I took a look at Cease and I didn't like what I saw I went into Winnipeg, Manitoba and I spent two days in a hotel room with God and Cease and I came back to you people I never was away I was going to meetings I was offering my services I wasn't missing me but I was just there in body with thoughts something like this you lucky people I am here if some of you are having problems I'm available if you care to discuss them with me and I tell that story because this has happened to people in Canada I don't know whether it happens down here but if it happens I hope that you can pull out of it thank God that Fern said those things to me and then it says sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand praying only for the knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. The very fact that I can talk about prayer and meditation is a wonderful thing because there wasn't a great orangutan that came to this program than me. I was too big to pray because I knew it all. To sit around and meditate, I didn't know what it meant. found out in Brownwood Texas what it meant. I sat down there in that little place by that cross and Willard told me to listen. That's what meditation means to me today, to listen for those answers and not to pray at somebody else's expense. I learned that at Mount Eagle but to pray for God's will for me and the power to carry that out for you see I told you I got fired from that great store few years ago I decided with the wrong motive that I should own that store and it set up a company and I was president naturally and I was back in the ladies' wear business and last fall I sat in bankruptcy court in this ladies'wear business and I can remember the day that I was going to bankruptcy court and Mac a man that I sponsored and a beautiful man and I hope someday you'll have him down here he's just a great guy he phoned me the morning that was going to bankruptcy court you know what he said phoned me from 600 miles away and he said cease on my way to work this morning i figured something out and i said what's that and he said maybe god decided that you shouldn't be in the ladies wear business that's not what you want to hear when you're going to bankruptcy court believe me and then he laughed and then told me about his sponsor and i was his sponsor but all the pearls of wisdom that i told him and then hung up friends like this you don't need it but I believe today that that's right because I'm not in the ladies wear business I have a nice fur business I have an ice staff that works with me and not for me and I can do the things that I'm doing like tonight and if ever I had a purpose in life maybe this is it so maybe that is God's will for me and I'm glad I can talk about it and then it says having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps lots of people will come up to me and they think I know all of the answers and one time I used to think I did and they say how do you have a spiritual awakening it tells you as a result of these steps what steps are they talking about in that book well I'm stupid but I figured that out that it's these 11 steps taken in sequence and coming up there and you have they call it a personality change and the fact that I can come down here at your expense granted but but the fact that I can take time out for work the fact that I care about you people that is a personality change believe me because I never ever cared about anybody unless there was some dollars attached to it and today I know what love and understanding is all about. And I learned it by taking those steps in sequence. And then it says we tried to carry this message. You know, I've probably done a thousand 12-step calls and every one of them has been a success. Some of them are drunk. Some of the others some of them were dead. Some of they were in mental hospitals. Some of them are in jails, some of them have short terms of sobriety, some of them long terms of subriety. But the reason I say that everyone's been a success is that old Cease is still sober and that's what they asked me to do, to try to carry the message. And it's a story I'll have to tell because so many of people sometimes become a little complacent about this program. You get a 12-step call and you're busy watching television that you didn't have before you came to the program. Oh, you asked to give somebody ride home after the meeting in the car that you didn't before you came into the program? You're too busy. You tell him where he can catch a ride. A story about a young member of Alkalics Anonymous. And he told an old member that he was going to quit. And the old member said, well, why are you going to quit? And he said, Well, when I came here, they told me that all I had to do was to come here. He said it wasn't going to cost me anything. There were no dues. There was no fees. He just come they told me that and now he said they want money to go to for birthday parties they want money for our state assembly they want to send off the general service office somebody's having a birthday and they want mone for that they want me to go on 12-step calls to prisons to hospitals they want be to go conferences they want do a lot of things around the club rooms and he said I'm getting sick and tired I'm going to quit and the old member said you know son i don't blame you a bit because he said your story reminds me the story of my life but he said when my wife and i were very young we were blessed with a bouncing baby boy and he said the moment that child was born although somebody told us that three could live as cheap as two it started to cost money first of all the wife had to stay in the hot flat to take the kid home i had to hire people to look after her i had a higher people look after him every time i went downtown they asked me to buy something for that kid finally started to creep around they wanted toys finally needed a tricycle i bought him a tricicle finally got big enough to have a bicycle i bought her a bicycle finally he went into high school and the bicycle wasn't big enough he wanted a motorcycle and the motorcycle wasn't good enough he want an old car then he wanted money to go off to summer camp and he wanted money to take the girls out and i was like you i was getting sick and tired but then he said in the final year of high school that boy of ours died and he hasn't cost us a penny since do what you like with that story but remember what it says we tried to carry the message to the alcoholic it still suffers and to practice these principles in all our affairs what principles are we talking about I think we're talking about those lousy principles we learned by taking those 12 steps in sequence and it's real wonderful tonight you know where I talked about kissing and hugging and rubbing up against it's great we all love each other and we're oh we're just the greatest bunch of people what is going to happen on Sunday when we leave here we get driving down that freeway the wife forgot her baggage back in the hotel. The old man runs out of gas on the freeway and that Al-Anon language comes out. You know, this is what we're talking about, these principles. It's easy to practice them here. I once knew an alcoholic that was so miserable that he bought his wife a seminary plot for Christmas and the next Christmas she said what are you going to buy me this year and he says hell yeah I haven't used last year's yet that's those beautiful AA members And then there was this Al-Anon girl. She just couldn't sober this wealthy Texan up, her husband. She decided to take him on a trip and she took him over to Europe. He was drunk when he got in the plane and he got drunker on the plane and he get drunker over there. And she took them on a tour and finally they came to this wishing well. And they're standing beside this wishing Well. and that damn poor alcoholic fell in and he drowned and you know what that dear Al-Anon woman said she said holy hell this thing really works so I don't know whether that's practicing the principles or not but I think we've learned something there's another story I'd like to tell about practicing the principles but a great Vincent Peale and Eddie Rickenbacker they were asked to make a film and they arrived on the set at three o'clock in the afternoon and there wasn't anybody there about three thirty there's still nobody quarter to four somebody starts to stroll onto the set and finally about a quarter after four it seems that they're going to be able to get going but by this time poor old Vincent Peales he had sort of lost his serenity and he went up to the producer and he said look I am a busy man and he says I have other appointments you told me to be here at three o'clock and I was here and he started and you weren't ready and now it's a quarter after four going on 4 30 and we have to be out here at five o' clock I have an appointment and he looked over and used Eddie Rickenbacker sitting over under a tree rocking on an old rocking chair and he walked over to Eddie and He said, what the hell are you doing? He said they told us to be here. We were here. And he said now it's almost 430 in the afternoon and you're sitting there rocking like an idiot. What's with you? And Eddie looked up at him and he said I'm just trying to practice what you preach. So maybe we should remember that one. I want to thank the committee for inviting me down here I got a phone call about 13 months ago and asked Sue asked me what I was going to be doing on the 6th, 7th and 8th of April I think it was 1971 2 and I said I'll be wherever you ask me to be and that's the reason I'm here and I know when I go back to Canada that I'm going back a much, much wealthier man. Not money-wise, material things. But I'm gone back with a host of new friends. And I'm goin' back with people that love me. And I've learned that everybody doesn't love me but I've learned that I have to love every one of you if I want to be confident and if you don't love me it reminds me of another story doesn't really remind me of another story I intended to tell it all along a story about a little psychiatrist and a big psychiatrist and he used to get on an elevator every morning and the big psychiatrist got off in the third floor and when he got off he spit on the little psychiatrist and this went on for a whole month and finally the little elevator boy says to the little psychiatrist he said why does that big fellow spit on you every morning and the little psychiatrist says that's his problem so all I can say is that I love every one of you and I don't know whether you get the message or not but when I talk about gratitude believe me I am grateful to be here and we're having a roundup in my hometown Prince Albert, Saskatchewan, Canada and I wasn't going to mention this to you because we can't look after too many more it's sort of an exclusive thing but we're going to have about 1350 people and some people are coming from Texas and just because I love you so much I'll tell you about it you won't get any posters or anything the last weekend in May and if you care to come up we'd like to have you and we show you a good time and there's a little town just outside of Omaha, Nebraska and as you drive up to this little town you see a statue the statue of a little boy carrying another little boy and you can tell by the way that he stooped over and by the sweat on his brow that he's having a very difficult time but underneath are words something to this effect no Lord he is not heavy for he is my brother and that's the way I feel about you people and I'm going to close this talk the way that I close every talk that I ever give and I hope it will help you as much as it's helped me you all look real good on the outside tonight how are you really on the inside thank you God bless you