Why Emotional Sobriety Requires a New Constitution – Joe B.

Good evening, everybody. My name is Joe Baer. I'm an alcoholic. Great to be here tonight, as it has been for the last several weeks. It's an honor to do this. It's a... It's unbelievable blessing. You know, there are things that I did for so many years that if I truly would have gotten what I deserved, I probably wouldn't be here. You know? I'd probably be incarcerated for life. I'd be completely ostracized from my family probably wouldn't be welcome in this town or a lot of other towns for that matter but I have been granted mercy and mercy is that thing that we get from God that simply is you know, that I don't get what I do deserve and I didn't earn a lot of things in here either I didn't earn some of the many gifts and blessings and favor that I've received and that's called grace and anybody that's worked this program that has received the spiritual awakening this profound outlook and reaction to life this vast change in the reaction to light this profound alteration this transformation from going from who we were to who we can be is truly supernatural when you think about it. Paul E., I love him to death, he says, well how do I know that God did these things for me? He says, well he's the only one I ever asked. Everybody else that I asked and I depended on to rescue me and help me and enable me failed. It didn't work. It just didn't happen. It didn't work. So no human power was able to relieve me of this thing that I had inside me that dictated that when I started, I couldn't stop. And when I was stopped, I could not stop starting. Called alcoholism. And they say that my thinking had become unmanageable. Well, I need to investigate what that means. Because I never wanted to admit that my think was unmanangeable. You know, that was kind of embarrassing. kind of belittling I wanted you to think I knew I wanted you to think I understood that I got it and I would run the masquerade and all the cover stories and the facade to make you think that I had what it took because I didn't want you to think I was a loser even though everything that I had done in my life spelled the big L on my forehead I had turned into the all-time loser when I got here all my scorecards read zero I was done I was done living thank God I had a sponsor that came into my life and said if you knew what I knew about you you'd be excited as hell you know, I didn't like that I wanted to know what he was talking about I wanted to know what was in the presents before I opened kind of like Christmas thing you know what I mean and that kept me from doing a lot of work for a lot of years it kept me from doing the work to find out what was the present or what was the reward behind it because I always wanted to know what would happen before I did anything to get it I always wanted something for nothing you know It is amazing That I can stand here before you today And I've only been sober a little longer than a little bit Not as long as some Longer than many And I'm only just begun My sponsor hammered into me That every day I get up that I consider myself a beginner. That every day I get up, that I need to be God-dependent. Because self-dependency almost took me out. It was absolutely unattractive. People didn't want to be around me with that self-reliance thing going on. You know, I had facts. I had evidence. I had absolute proof that self-reliance had failed me. You know what I mean? I had it all. I pretended and lived like it wasn't true. So I had to come to believe. I had come to belief that this power could restore me to sanity, to sane thinking from unmanageable thinking. I was always consumed about what you thought, what you were thinking. I was always consumed about how I looked, about how I appeared. I was always consumed about your opinion of me and I would always make up what your opinion of me was. My thinking was always about what you were thinking and I had to make up what you were thinking so I stayed You know, I stayed at arm's length for most everybody. How do I know that this is from God? Because He's the only one I ever asked. And I made that decision to ask Him in step three. It was clear to me that no human power could do it for me. It was clearly that I couldn't overcome my thinking. My sponsor would point out these wonderful things from some of the most brilliant minds in the past like Albert Einstein. where he says that a problem can't be solved by the same mind that created the problem. That was deep. You know what I mean? No other mind created my problems for me. I created my problem. I thought the way I thought. I made up things the way I made it up. The way I made of things. I operated by my philosophy, not yours. But I had facts. I had results. I had evidence. And my sponsor took me to that evidence. I've said it before. He would say things like, well, let's just take a look at what you've been able to accomplish with all your ability, talent, and skills in the realm of recovery, intimate relationships, enlightenment. Joe? I'm going to tell you, all my scorecards read zero, so I didn't have any evidence to support that my thinking was effective. So I had to make a decision to turn my will and my life over to God's care and work a very simple, not easy, program of action. I had to become committed. Do I stay committed on a daily basis? There will be times when I'm not committed. There will been times when actually... When I actually make a decision not to be committed. Intentionally. And I've said it all the time. I can do anything I want, as long as I'm willing to pay the price. I don't like the prices. I like rewards. I like presents. I like gifts. I like favor. But I don' t always act in an appropriate manner to receive them. It's just the way it is. So we're on step ten tonight. And we're going to be talking about things that we began in step four. that in order for me to stay engaged, I must do step three. Step three tells me that I'm a... You know, it says in the books, it says that the effectiveness of the whole AA program, the remaining steps, rests on how well and earnestly I do step two. Step three, which simply says I make a decision to turn my thoughts and my life, my will and my actions over to the care of God as I understood them. Because my life really is, the actions are my life and my will is my thoughts. So I'm turning them over to His care. And if you understand, I mean if you've ever read the history of AA and know how this whole thing came together and the divine way that it came together where we got the problem from a doctor in New York City, we got The Solution from a Doctor in Europe and Switzerland through people that didn't end up in AA. They were in the Oxford group and we got a program of action from a group called the Oxford Group. When you know and you study the history of Alcoholics Anonymous, you know that the hand of God is on it. It's simply not an accident. and it's not a mystery you know what I mean it'snotamystery so when I look at the word care this word care of God as I understood him it would simply mean what's in front of me how do I find out what God's care is for me well they say that I must validate the decision with action so every day is a day, it says to me, that I've got to carry the vision of God's will into all my affairs. Which means I must intentionally decide to turn my will, my thoughts and my life, my actions over to God's care. How do I validate that decision? Well there is a method, there is a philosophy of principled living through the steps where I actually incorporate them into my new constitution. Remember we talked about constitution. It's not just a document in Washington D.C. If you look it up in Webster's dictionary, it is a fundamental set of rules and principles by which a man or woman lives their life. Well, we all know what we got before we got here. We all know What we got after we got Here. But as we started to work this program, there are some different principles that they're saying I'm going to incorporate in my life. To let that dictate my thinking. Nobody can overcome their thinking with their thinking. You know what I mean? Just try it sometime. Try it sometime! You know, we think that our mind is constantly running. You know? We're constantly thinking about stuff. What we have, what we don't have. What we're going to get, what they're not going to give us. What we get, and what we're not getting. Who's going to offend me? What are they going to think? How's the boss going to be today? Am I going to make any money today? you know, what am I going to do tonight? What am I gonna eat today? I mean we're just thinking, thinking, thinking, right? Well they say that if I incorporate these steps into my life that I will harbor different principles within a new constitution. That I will discard the old constitution and incorporate a new Constitution into my light. A new philosophy by which I live which will produce different results and enable me to become sober and happily and usefully whole. Wow, that's a gift? So after I make this decision, they say that this thing called self-investigation, this inventorying, is critical. So we do that. We take a look. We take the man or woman looking back at us in the mirror and we become, by this time, honest and ready to face the truth. Ready to search out the flaws in our character. The things that are objectionable. The things have alienated us from other people that have ruined our relationships with other people. Kept us in turmoil, emotional disturbance and fear and we're able to look at them with an objective view with the help of our sponsor and in God's presence. So we do that And we find out who the people got when we showed up on the scene. After we do our fifth step, it's all about what am I going to do now? Am I goingto change that which I just uncovered? Or am I gonna remain the same? Am I gonna rest on my laurels? Am I'm gonna be who I've always been? See, the only way that I can be who i've alwaysbeen is to really buy into my thinking that what I was doing and how I was being and the defects that I had were effective. Now, I might be able to sell that to myself, but I'm not going to be able to sell it to y'all. I'm going to have to sell it to my mother or my sisters or my family or my friends. I'm never going to sell this to them. They ain't buying it because I've surrounded myself with people in my inner circle in the fellowship of the Spirit and give them full permissions to call me on my doo-doo, on my crap. So I do this inventory and just you've got to know that I don't just do that inventory and never take inventory again. We're going to find out through this process that that becomes a daily working part of my new philosophy of life. That if I do that it will give me rewards and results beyond my imagination. It will allow me to stay on what they say a place that's safe and protected. That the level of life that I'll be able to live with that being part of my constitution where I'm always looking and giving a double check and an inside look at how did I do today? Did I do anything good today? Did I doing anything bad today? You know what I mean? How did I show up today that they say that will put me on this thing called a spiritual beam where I will have been granted access to this power and be able to call on this power to live to good purpose and to empower other people. To be an attraction rather than a promoter where newcomers will be ableto view us and say, man, I want what that person's got. How'd they get so confident? See, being confident doesn't mean cocky. And a darn sure doesn't mean afraid. When you get God's power inside of you, you speak with confidence and boldness. And you don't worry about what other people say. Because it's really not that doggone important. Right? So this inventory is critical. And then we do this fifth step, right? We confess. We talk about stuff. We acknowledge it. we incorporate this thing they call humility within our essence where we're able to share it with another human being and not be concerned about the feedback that we're going to get. I think one of the most valuable things that I've ever done is had a sponsor where I gave unrestricted access to giving me feedback. Tell me what you think. Tell me how you're showing up. Tell me what's coming out of my mouth. What's my communication like? Is it authentic? Is it a lie? Is it, is it a promotion? Is it gimmick? Is it full of masquerades and cover stories? You know what? And he would. And he still does. You know? They say that in this new thing, this step 10, this maintenance, so to speak, step, that we incorporate that into our daily routine. Anybody that's been around for a little while and has worked this process and had this spiritual awakening as the result will tell you that they're always communicating with people in Alcoholics Anonymous. We're always talking to one another. We're all talking about things that might have value for another person. I tell you, the thing that I find is most valuable to me is for somebody to tell me what's really going on with them that has backed them up. You know, we can all talk about the good stuff. Talking about the bad stuff is, you know what I mean? That's when it really gets intimate where we really are transparent. So they say that inventory and confession or talking to somebody about whatever's going on, like these daily disturbances that we go through, is really, really essential, indispensable, critical in maintaining a clean inside. Because I'm going to tell you, when we did the fourth and fifth step, we cleaned out that internal garbage can. We took out the garbage. But that don't mean that can stays clean. We got to embark on a program of change. We saw all the things within ourself, our motives and our desires that created the destruction. We have the evidence. It's really important to know the evidence, know the truth and acknowledge it. And then we embark on this thing where we're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character and ask Him to do so, humbly ask Him for His love. Ask Him to be able to do something. I think knowing that we don't have the ability to change our thinking and to take our own selves to better living and absolutely knowing that we must be God dependent and continually ask and call on this power is an expression of humility in and of itself I can't he can and I'm going to let him on a daily basis right Okay? So, they say, we're going to find out, that this is important in my daily walk in life. That when things crop up or I commit offenses and I, you know, and let me tell you, the tongue is probably the worst thing in our arsenal. they say it can land us in the fire it can start wars commit mass genocide it can do anything the power of the tongue is very very powerful we can hurt people what am I doing with my tongue is my tongue the same thing? Is it the same way? Is it communicating the same way than when I got here? Have I attempted to change that or is that something that I refuse to change because I think it's impressive or I think it's popular? It's a tough one. For me, it's a tough one There's so many things that we have to be aware of. And it's really important that if I'm not checking in with who I'm being on a daily basis and asking God to help me change in that pursuit, then I'm just going to be who I've always been and I'm going to get the same results. So every day is a day when we've got to carry the vision of God's will into all our affairs. Where had I been selfish, dishonest, resentful, and fearful? Where had i been envious and greedy and lustful and prideful. When did I get defensive? Anytime I get any of those things, I've got a problem with me. It's a spiritual axiom that anytime I am disturbed, there is a problem wrong with me because Russell talks about being offended. Well, how can I be offended or disturbed? Because I'm offendable and disturbable. There's something going on in me. If somebody said something that I couldn't relate to at all. It would just go right over my head if it didn't apply to me. But hurtful things, I mean, God, just call me a loser and we're going to have a problem because I know what that feels like. Call me a failure and we'll have a trouble because I don't know what to do. I don' t know what it feels like so I'm looking at myself I'm investigating I'm taking I'm really attempting through this process to become better every day to carry the vision of God's will into all my affairs to be as helpful as I can to other people because I'm still a selfish, self-centered egotistical prideful individual it's in my DNA and I don't know that's just the way it is so every day is a day I've got to be on watch and when I offend somebody I've got to make amends I've gotta clean it up you know, we began to do that in 8 and 9 I don't want to stop doing it I don' t want to fill up my spiritual garbage can again and choke myself off from the inside of the spirit because I'm going to tell you immediately when I hurt somebody or I get into a power driven argument with somebody I disconnect immediately God isn't around I'm thinking about you them. And I'm self-righteously saying, you're wrong, I'm right. Do it all the time. A lot of times it's not what I say, it's how I say it. It's not the content, it' s the delivery. I stink at it. But the difference is, where before I didn't give a damn, today I care. I want to be better. I want to feel God's love more. I want him express himself in me more. I want his protection. I want feel his safety. I want fill his love. I want experience that blissful state when I know he is right next to me in everything. And I am the only one that creates a separation. And if you do something to me and I allow it to be a problem with me, he's gone. So, I have to keep this temple as clean as I can because it's only then will I sense the power of God. It's only when I act out on my defects of character or I become selfish and self-centered where I choke myself off from the sunlight of the Spirit. It never fails. I saw this. This is really, I thought it was profound. It says you can come to a beautiful temple every Sunday, or you can practice all kinds of Bible sayings, you can know the Bible back and forth, you can go to church all the time. You can label yourself with the most fantastic tags that you can comes up with, but you won't find your heart in a temple if you don't have a temple in your heart. How do I make, how do I do that? We just got done talking about it. These steps are perfect. They're perfect. They absolutely work. If I'm committed to having them, if I'm committed. If I am halfway committed to this I'm not going to be happy with the results and probably none of y'all are either. You know what I mean? In our book of instruction, in our basic text. It's really cool because I just went over this this morning in another meeting. By the way, there's nobody more spiritual than anybody else in here. There's only those that are more surrendered. You know what I mean? It says after the promises, these will always materialize if we work for them. If we work from faith without. works is dead. We see that time and again. We've gotten off that wagon of wanting something for nothing. You know what I mean? That WSFN frequency, the radio frequency, wanting something for nothing, and we begin to do things, take action. We get good counsel from our sponsor and our spiritual mentors and our friends and we take action, we may make decisions that we bounce off other people they give us good guidance, good counsel. A lot of times what I'm thinking, it's like, it'S not good. I may make a decision that I may try to masquerade as God's will. Oh, must be God's Will. I better run that off somebody. Because it may be the devil himself. You know what I am saying? It may be totally selfish and self-centered. Kind of like I lock my keys in my car. Must be God'S Will. it says this thought brought us to step 10 which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along I'm going to tell you something I don't know if anybody realizes it but to set write any new mistakes as we grow as we move along takes into account a number of things I can cause harm with my tongue I can take shortcuts that will not only harm me, but harm others. If I'm harming myself, I've got guys that I sponsor and that I care for. If I're cutting corners and I'm beginning to compromise, I'm going to hurt them. Inadvertently. But I will. I may cause harms to other people, which may be things that I need to make amends for. But there's many things that they would incorporate in this word mistake. Right? It says, we vigorously commenced this way of life. We vigorously commence this way of living as we cleaned up the past. When we vigoriously commenced this way of living was when we took step four. We vigorlessly commenced to look inward instead of outward. Right? Okay? It says as we clean up the path. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Well, what does that mean? How do I know when I've entered the World of the Spirit? You'll know. Trust me, you'll know You will be inspired You will be led from this other dimension This godly dimension This God consciousness they call it How do I know that? Because it will absolutely determine when I'm going to do something. What's right and what's wrong? I'll know what's right and what'S wrong. Now, I may decide to do what's wrong, but like Jim, more about alcoholism, I will absolutely vaguely sense that I'm not being any too smart about this thing. And there's going to be consequences for my actions. So, they talk about this world of the Spirit, this God consciousness, this profound moral, this compass, this thing inside me that absolutely lets me know that there is a right path and a wrong path. That there is morality and immorality. I will know these things. Hopefully I act on the right ones. It says we've entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function, telling us what our next function is, is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. So I'm going to, through this process, through this daily method, philosophy, this new constitution, this incorporation of these steps into my life on a daily basis, I'm going to literally grow in effectiveness and understanding. Because they say this, this is not an overnight matter, it should continue for a lifetime so I'll never get to a plateau. if I stop growing, I'm going. Okay? I never get there. I will get there when I die. Alright? But they say this. This is what they say will help me grow in understanding and effectiveness. It says continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear. I'm not going to be able to look out there to determine if I've got that stuff going on. That's an inward reflection. That's a self-examination. That's in inventory that we started, that we did in step four. That's where I first identified those things that I never looked at before or acknowledged before where was I resentful, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened. Right? Remember? So they're saying that I incorporate step four into my daily way of being, My daily method of living. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. So when I get selfish, when I gets resentful, when somebody pisses me off and I get angry, or when I feel I'm not going to get something that I want or I'm going to lose something I got, or I feel entitled and I'm getting all this emotional disturbance going on, when these crop-up, we asked God at wants to remove then. So I'm entirely ready to have God take this stuff away and I humbly ask Him to do so. so they're talking about six and seven here a daily reprieve they're talking about here this is going to give me that daily reprieved okay it says and you may ask you may be already asked what happened step five okay got it for you it says we discussed them with someone immediately well we discussed this stuff with somebody after step four in our fifth step. So they've already told us the components or the ingredients to maintain this spiritual freedom, this place of emotional sobriety. That's what we want here, emotional sobrietty by doing four, five, six and seven and then it says and we make amends quickly if we've harmed anybody. So step 10 Right Is to grow in effectiveness and understanding And they're saying how we do step 10 Even though it says Continue to take personal inventory And when we were wrong promptly admitted it It also says in here That we Set right any new mistakes As we go along We may have compromised You know what I mean We may Have done something that didn't offend anybody but we did it all by ourselves and we know what's wrong. We said it right, right? We discuss them with someone immediately and we make amends quickly if we've harmed anybody. Four through nine all the time. That's what they're saying, right. That's What They're Saying. That is What They'RE Saying. That'sWhatItSaysInHere. And I found it to be true. It says then, then. So we do these things and then We resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help Love and tolerance of others is our code And here's what happens If we incorporate this new philosophy of living This new set of principled living in our lives And make these steps a working part of our life A working partof our mind To get closer to God To be freer To be more emotionally sober to be more effective says if we cease fighting anything or anyone imagine that feeling like the way we did 24 hours before we got here we cease fighting anything or anybody we were at war when we got here for this time sanity will have returned we will not think about what booze and drugs did for us when things hit the fan we will think about what boozo and drugs did to us what a gift what a freedom that is that we don't sit and fantasize and romance what it did for us when we're in our stuff we think about what it did to us and we recoil from it as from a hot flame we talk to somebody immediately We commit to change. We ask God for help and we make amends where necessary. That's what we do. It says, We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally. That's like what normal... I mean, a lot of normal people don't even do that. See how gifted we are? See how blessed we are and we will find this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude is all about attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes. That's the miracle of it. Supernatural. Not humanly possible for people that once lived where we lived in our state of mind with our internal condition. Impossible. Unfathomable. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we've been placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected. We've not even sworn off. Instead the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We're neither cocky nor are we afraid but we speak with confidence and boldness because it lives inside. That is our experience. What is your experience? Ask yourself. If you've gone through the motions and you've done these things superficially and half measured them, is this your experience? If it is not, please regress and redo or recommit. Please. It says that is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. Now, if you're asking, how do I stay in fit spiritual condition? Then maybe you were on your phone or texting for the last 15 minutes. I don't know. But it says, we have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for a lifetime. We continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. 5 and 6. We discuss them with somebody immediately, 5, 6 and 7, sorry. We make amends quickly. If we've harmed anybody, 4 through 9 all the time. That is how we stay in fit spiritual condition. If we maintain that method and philosophy on a daily basis, we will remain free and we will remained emotionally sober. Emotionally sober. We will not be disturbed. It says it's easy to let up on our spiritual program of action And rest on our laurels Laurels are those reefs they used to give people back a long, long time ago When they'd win a race or do something of accomplishment And then they sit on them Look at me And stop doing what we did To get us that accomplishment If we're not growing, we're going it says we're headed for trouble if we do for alcohol is a subtle foe we are not cured of alcoholism we will always have the allergy to alcohol what have we been working on since page 45 we have been working on the mind we have seen we have them seeking the power lack of power was our dilemma we had to find a power by which we could live and it had to be a power greater than ourselves that means we have written a book that we believe to be spiritual as well as moral and that means we're going to talk about God. It says what we really have is a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition. How do we maintain our spiritual condition? Four through nine all the time. Inventory, talk to somebody, commit to change, ask God for help, make amends where necessary. That's how every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all our activities how can I best serve thee not serve me serve thee the God that picked us off off the cement out of the hospital from the depths of hell and brought us to a level of life we never ever thought was possible how can I best sir him thy will not mine be done these are thoughts which this is not vague it says these are thoughts which must go with us constantly it doesn't say that we can pick and choose it says these are thoughts which must go with us constantly if you've gotten to this place in this process chances are really good you become God dependent and live a very independent life your worry factor has gone way down your fear factor has gone way down you've begun to live to good purpose and feel whole or close it says we can exercise our willpower along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will. They said the will was a bad thing to be using back in, well, a bunch of pages ago. About 50, 60 pages ago they said you really don't want to use this will thing. It's gotten you in a lot of trouble, Job. Self-will. Demand. Entitlement. All that stuff. But now Now, they're saying we can use our will all we wish, that it's the proper use of the will if I ask what God's will is for me. What is the good for all concerned? I can ask for me if others will be helped. It's like the spirit of this thing. We're going to find out by this time that you only get through giving. You only receive by what you give out. The measure of what you receive, and it says in the Bible, the measure of What You Receive is by that which you give. It's a spiritual law. I found it to be true. And I've also found that when I'm selfish and I don't give, I'm disconnected. they talk about these things called emotional hangovers anybody had them besides me? they say it's the excesses of yesterday's negative emotion it's when I don't clean it up it's cuando las cosas suceden y no estoy tomando la inventaria no estoy hablando con alguien sobre eso y no he hecho amenazas yo no me gusta los hangoveros emocionales ellos ascienden porque te despiertas estás enojado no puedes poner tu dedo en él Don't want to put your finger on it. Pretend like it never happened, but you're still all screwed up inside. You drink your coffee. You don't do your preparation to turn your will and your life over to God's care. You watch Channel 7 News and you walk out that door saying, who's going to offend me today? They're going to get the wrath of what I should have taken care of yesterday. If that's not the past dictating the future, I don't know what is. Our whole lives were spent living a future that was dictated by the past. This is really important stuff. Really, really important. Really important stuff! It says if we have carefully followed directions to get over the suggestion thing, right? It's the book of instruction. It also says we can give much practical advice. I get it from people all the time. I love it. Because I'm not practical a lot. It says this, it says if we carefully follow directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit, God's Spirit into us. To some extent we've become God conscious. Think about that. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense so rather than going full throttle against the world with what I can see what I kan smell what Ikan taste what Iken hear and what I ken touch I have a different direction I have anew power source that keeps me emotionally balanced in the times that I'm doing what I'm supposed to do so next week we'll talk about how we enhance that Thank you.