Why Alcohol Stopped Working for Him – Ben H.

About This Speaker Tape

Northern Plains Group of Alcoholics Anonymous - 2006

A plastic dart poked out his eye at age five and Ben H. spent the next two decades crafting a fake story to hide the truth—the first of many masks. From cheating on science tests to becoming a 'chameleon' who mirrored whoever he was with to gain approval Ben's life became a series of high-energy runs and deep wreckage. He describes a drinking career that was 'an absolute blast' until the alcohol stopped working leading him to a point where he was choosing between treatment and suicide. After a failed attempt at sobriety and a run that ended in a VIP suite at a snowmobile race he found a group of young men in suits and ties in Jamestown. Through the steps and a surprising spiritual awakening he began the slow process of paying back $60,000 in debts and reconciling with a mother he had disowned for eight years.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Childhood injury: The story of the plastic dart and the start of his lying.
• 2:15 First resentment: Getting caught cheating on a science test and helping the janitor.
• 4:10 Childhood memory: The preacher and the bike with training wheels.
• 7:20 The first blackout: Drinking Black Velvet whiskey at age 12 and puking blood.
• 10:15 The 'Avoid Hangover, Stay Drunk' sign in Windsor and the cycle of daily drinking.
• 13:40 The decision: Choosing between treatment and suicide.
• 16:50 The last run: Drinking in the VIP suite at a snowmobile race while talking to his sponsor.
• 18:30 Spiritual Awakening: Working the 4th and 5th steps and discovering a Higher Power.
• 20:10 Amends: Discussing the $60,000 debt and the process of financial restitution.
• 22:00 Family reconciliation: Rebuilding the relationship with his mother after eight years of silence.