Unmanageability and Restoration to Sanity – The Four Seasons Workshop – Part 6 of 8 – Don A.

...multi-relationships, basically entire breakdowns of all... What do you think? Good, huh? Good job. That's really good. See, could we have amended our emotional nature? I feel like this is done by the second grade compared to that one. I think what we did was we started this, how good are we at controlling our emotional natures? And we started off, it seemed like, with today and kind of digressed or kind of what moved into years ago in drinking and drugs. So it covers all territories. And we start with anger, and we couldn't control that very well. Out of anger, all sorts of things came. He went through anger, resentment, jealousy, shame, guilt, envy, suicide, child abuse, moodiness, spitefulness, violence, abuse, all sorts of health issues, stress, depression. And one of the first things that was stated was that anger is a cover for fear and so you're in a fearful area that you can't control when you're that anger area we had rage loss of control and then that went into all the things that might be said which started out with fuck you I don't give a damn I hate you I never want to see you again I'm leaving or get the hell out and then and you've been replaced. That was all in anger. We had greed, gambling, fraud, workaholism, dishonesty, stealing, conning, lying. We had love. We had sex, places. I'm not sure what that meant, but love of places. Yeah, the bars, etc. Life, addiction, abuse, insecurity, security, drinking, drugs and booze. Then we had excitement. These are all the ones that were listed. From excitement was danger, wild and crazy behavior, risk-taking, violence, theft, and adrenaline. and open-mindedness and closed-minded. Then jealousy, envy, insecurity, self-pity, violence, loss of conscience, and jail. And then fear and sadness. All right. So does that make sense when you take a look at unmanageability? all those certain areas. You guys, this is really good. I mean it and I know accumulatively that doesn't mean everyone has to have every one of these but it's to give an idea of which one is mine that's causing issues. So any questions on that as a process upon how to look at the first half of step one of the unmanageability. All right, now I'd like you to go back in those same work groups and what I'd liked you to do this time is take that information, so remember the relationship between step one and step two, so in this area of personal relationships is step one, so then to create that vision in relationships. So in other words if I take that information from step one, now I'm going to take that unmanageability and build a vision. So the question is, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore me to sanity. So the questions is, how would I have me be in that same situation if they didn't change? Am I willing to believe there's a power, he came to belive that a greater power could. So what would be the picture or the image or the mind map of how I would be in that relationship, whether they changed or not? And not asking the question, well, how would the Creator do that, or when is He going to do it, but does the power exist to make me that way? you take a look at these emotional natures you do the same thing where you have anger and all of those normal reactions so then you take that emotion and you build that vision how would you have you be see we're really looking at the development in step two of the being not the doing we are human we are spiritual beings right we are human beings not human doing So we really set the vision in step two to put in the vision the being. Now, you know, it's like if I just take a look at myself, say I really have a temper and I'm really angry and I know that. So say that my mind map, I write that out, anger, I'm jealous, I attack, I, you now, whatever. So then I take that to step two and I start to create that vision. Well, what would it look like if you didn't have one? Well, I'd be very patient, I would be understanding, I'd be kind. Then there's little people. Like when you write steps, they come to little people. They're about this tall. So you'll start to write. Say I've got a temper and I'm angry or whatever. So I'll start the right. Well, I could see if it was working, I'd be very, very patient and I'd tolerant. That's when the little people come. They hop up and they tug on your ear and they say, who are you trying to shit? Patient, yeah, right. See, so you got to kind of snap the little people off. Right? So all of step two is done outside of the current belief system. This is very, very important. All of step 2 is always done outside of a current belief systems. It's in the land of impossibilities beyond what you can any way ever possibly see through the world's greatest whatever. So it's all done out here. It's beyond your belief system. All the step two work is done beyond the belief system. So came to believe that a power greater than myself could, say I was an angry person temper, make me gentle, kind, loving, be patient. So very often when you build it, you have to snap off the little people, right? Because they whisper in your ear, who's doing this You'd be patient, kind, tolerant. Right. You've been this way for 40 years. But do not get trapped by the question of how is it going to happen? Don't worry about that. Or when is that one gonna happen? Right. So I want you to take those back into the same groups. Yes. And just to build that vision. So what you'll end up doing is creating that vision in those two areas that we're using, for example, personal relationships, emotional nature, and build out mind-map vision for step two. Yes? I was going to ask, how does this relate to, like you're saying, the sound ideal in the universe? Well, when you get the relationship, if I'm asking your question right, let's just say... That's the instruction in section inventory. Well, the way that I look at... If you take a look at the steps, it's very precise on what to do. Every instruction is there. That's how I look at that. Because if you take a look at the current reality, what's going on now and you create that vision, what these steps do, it's why the vision step two becomes your spiritual awakening in step 12 because the rest of the steps sort out the blockages, all the character defects that are standing between you and that ideal that you set. And it's a spiritual process that starts to reveal that. So suppose I don't own something up there. Suppose I leave it out. It doesn't show up. It's whatever I own, set the vision for, then that is where the conflict occurs to reveal where the blockages are so I don't see it. It's very, very powerful. You grow very powerfully, very quickly and very sound. It's a conflict guiding system, right? This is a conflict. The Creator made a system of harmony so it's a system or conflict through the steps gives you the harmony. It will show you the blockage You leave it out and don't own it, you're not going to see it. You cannot fix that which you don't admit is broke. It's like you can't give away what you don' have, you know, instead of a number of different ways. So if you could go back into your same workgroups and create that vision of step two. If you need to take those sheets with you, feel free to take them. Now, we also know that the principle for step two is hope. So the first, the principle of step one is honesty, be honest. Recognize, acknowledge, recognize, acknowledge that whatever's going on, this is me that's going it. So what you would have when you finish step one and two, you'd have these nine areas in step one. Then you take that and you create these nine areas of the vision in step two, just like you did. You just did two of them. Now why is it that it turns out to be the principle of hope? So we want to explain that very quickly. The created subconscious has two other functions. One of its second functions is to solve and to resolve problems. That's one of its functions. Anytime I give it a problem, it has to go solve it. And the third function it has is to turn on my drive or the energy system. So I have... Every time I give my mind a problem it turns on an energy system to solve that problem. So I have a creativity system inside of my mind and an energy system. So the human being is always designed to have order in its life. Order in the life means that whatever I picture in here, I see it outside. So let's just say that I was born with my fingers together. And that's the way I wasborn. Then one morning I wake up and the alarm clock goes off. and I reach off and I shut the alarm clock off and I go, that's when I notice it. See? In my mind, my fingers are supposed to be together and they're apart. So our energy system kicks on and I have to go and restore it back to order. Now I have order in my life. See? So it's always working to restore order. So let's say I live in this house for 50 years. Let's say I live in it for 15 years and then all of a sudden somebody gives me an idea I ought to paint the house. Now all this time nothing's bothered me. So what they do is through my senses they start, I start to paint a picture inside of my house of what would that house look like if it was painted. So over a period of time I will create a new vision inside of my mind of this house and it's going to be blue and it'll have white trim and there'll be a picket fence. So I get the idea in my mind of the end result. So I create inside of myself a vision. Now what happens, as soon as I get that vision inside, say I come driving up to the house one day and I pull in the driveway or whatever, and I look at it and I go, Jesus, look at that wreck! Who could live in such a thing? The paint's peeling and even the boards are cracked. So what happens is when I put the vision in then I become discontent with the old. All of a sudden I notice where it's broke so it's a conflict system kicks in. When this created subconscious, what it does is anytime it sees a difference. So when I have the picture of the house that is blue and it's got white trim and it is painted and I look at it, I have just given myself a problem. A problem is anytime what I see out here is different from here. So it turns on an energy system, a creativity system. So I take vacation, I go to a hardware store, I get to paint. I get the brush as I come home. See, I set everything up and I start painting Monday, Monday night, Tuesday, Wednesday night. Anybody comes along, I give them a brush. Paint, get here, scrape here, do this. Paint Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Then Sunday afternoon, I take the last stroke of the brush, I step back and I look at the house. Pictures match. That house out there looks like how the picture is and you just go, it claps right on the lawn. I couldn't have went another day. Am am I glad I finished it now? No. If it was another day of painting, your energy system would have stayed intact. Do you get the idea? Now what happens in step two? First you look at unmanageability. You look at the old house. Then you go to step two and you start looking at this vision of myself. I see myself to be spiritual, patient, tolerant, kind, having courage. See, so I start to put that idea inside of my house. Now what happens? I put that possibility of that vision in step two. It turns on a problem-solving system and it gives me the drive and the energy to go to step three. I can't wait to do four. I got to do five. I want to do six. I'm going to do the amends. Because you're working off an energy system, and that's why step two is a principle of hope. Hope means I create Do you really think I could be that way? But you look at yourself and you're not. And that's what you want. You want to create the discontent. Get the idea of that? That's why you do step two with that vision. And then once you get that vision, remember in step eleven where it says be careful of resting on your laurels? What that means is the pictures match. When the pictures matter, your energy system shuts down and you are resting on laurels. you might be setting yourself up for a drunk. See, it's when the pictures match. So what we're doing in this process is to put this vision inside to turn on an energy system to look forward to doing the next step. I can't wait, see? So instead of trying to avoid meetings and doing that, you just start gathering information. I want to grow. I want you to do this. But as an energy, the energy system inside also is turned on. Does that make sense? All right, let's see what some of these visions are. Let's take this one here first. This one is on what? This personal relationship? Yeah, could we do this one? See, it's really nice too about this one. It even has a vision, a picture and branches. So when the mind sees that, the mind gets all excited about that. Good morning. I'll come on up. Hi, Lenna. And I think that the energies of truth that runs about and has roots in the river and And some of the things that are freedom, harmony, laughter, wisdom, serenity, balance, love, joy, caring, purpose. And here's integration, connectedness, selflessness, purpose, fearlessness, growth, intuition, dreams, financial security. And it goes down to the root spiritual growth and our mother, the earth, unconditional love, creativity, peace, song, sincerity, opportunity, patience, kindness, respect, humility, consciousness, reality. Celebration, spontaneity, courage, hope, sharing and play. I have an affirmation. I celebrate my life. I am a courageous, strong, connected, worthy woman, joyfully, abundantly Now, I see you take those hard statements like that, so affirmations also work. Because when you say that with that emotion, I see myself as a strong woman, whatever. And when you feel that going in, you create that new image and it turns on an energy system. That's just an excellent, excellent way to look at that step. If you say that every day, it turns on more energy and more energy and more enery. And it just continues to drive always for that picture. Now remember we talked about the medicine wheel teachings that says there are two worlds that exist. Seen world, unseen world. Both are run by a set of principle laws and values. If I design my being or conduct my thinking in harmony with those principle laws and values, there's certain results I will see in my life. So if I develop my being, serenity, wisdom, caring, humor, spontaneity, that's it. So as we go through the rest of the steps, it removes those blockages and all of a sudden you come on to see that's where you were all along. Then this is the one that drives. So the creative subconscious, as you develop that picture, it maintains sanity. You must be like that new picture. So anytime you act dishonest, tension will occur in your system and it'll correct for the mistake to get you back to be honest. If you don't care, see, it will correct so you're just naturally caring. So step two always comes out that way to align with those principles that the Great Spirit gave to us. you live like this, you're going to have good results. Okay, so we have this group here. My name is Lewis. I'm an osteoporosis. With the thought that we have created all these problems and most of these subjects have got the problems because of what we did and that we must change our thoughts and that to grow spiritually we must grow downwards inside ourselves and cut some of these off. We create this circle with a vision, a wheel with a visual self-restore and address the subject of peace, action, love, freedom, realistic self-appraisal, tolerance, patience, respect, honesty, in harmony with creation, getting on good terms with work instead of on bad terms with people, feeling good with ourselves, being honest with the feelings when we feel bad, Not hiding. Creativity. Being spiritually aware. Defendant and true friendship with defendants. Sharing, having a good God relationship and again being able to change and having the willingness to change. And most important is the lack of self. our ego, trying to get rid of our ego. Happiness, forgiveness and finally trying to have decent morals. And that's as far as we go. It's not easy. Thank you very much. And sometimes step two is not easy because we're not used to thinking that way. But that's But that's why it's good you do it in a group level. Those associations start to help us see. Because you really want to do a good job in step two, so you don't cheat yourself in step twelve. As long as you're going to do the work, what the hell? Go for it all. Not just a little bit. Don't cut yourself short. Because then you have to wait another whole four cycles to see for it to happen. Okay, can we get the next group? So, what we were trying to illustrate is to take this emotional, these emotions right here that were negative, so to speak, of the anger and the love and the fear and the greed is below the line on Mother Earth. And in that planting of these emotions, it took a long time for us to bring up, come with that vision. It took a big transition, a lot of tears, a whole lot of sweat that went into Mother Earth and started nourishing through this tree that blossomed, and up through these roots came spiritual growth. And this tree started developing and blossoming and acknowledging the higher power. And what we have is patience, tolerance, control, anger, unconditional love, serenity, strength, honesty, healing, passion, compassion, understanding, contentment, acceptance, sharing and caring. And in this process of this tree being nurtured as a tree of life, that we are growing strong and the roots are strong now and coming up in this good positive way. The eagle and acknowledging the spiritual growth, the eagle is going to come through this tree and be the protector and the life of this three because it's the tree of light and it's an interceptor between between this tree of life and the Creator. So we've seen that a little bit that way, and I'm glad that we were the counterpart to that one over there. Is there one more group yet? We did personal relationships and in our first drawing before we started with the self and we were painfully honest in our relationship with the Creator and the relationship with children and men and employers. And we thanked Men's Group for showing us one that we forgot, which was Friends. And as we were coming up with our different concepts for the dream, the spiritual awakening, what we're going to need in Step 2 or required in Step 3 to get to the spiritual awakening, we did a wish list of what would really be perfect and wholesome not just a dream but really wholesome and fair for everyone and best for everyone and again we started with the creator so what was very important was conscious contact with the Creator we really had a need for that oneness we wanted the Creator to reveal himself or herself to us we wanted total faith and total trust we wanted God to be first god in all areas of our lives and um even even in the worst situations to have complete dependence and alliance um and and that of course is going to flush into all the others into our men relationships and self and children and friends um with uh then we do that then we went to self and we we want self-forgiveness nurturing we want acceptance of our body and the aging process of our feelings of our genders many women we all brought this up at the table it wasn't like the greatest news in the world to my dad when he found out that he had a girl and i think a lot of women had experience so we got real honest with that and talked about um accepting our gender and then which is different our sexuality we want to take personal responsibility uh for taking actions not just dreams not just having dreams but taking action about dreams we have making turning them into goals which is which is what the whole concept of this exercise is as we took it um living in that reality uh procrastinating and um uh follow up on commitments to ourselves um then we did children and the children was uh to help them find their own spirituality accept their individuality and all these are pretty much directly diametrically opposed to what where we came from you know and what we had done with our children um teach through example mind our own business be loving and supportive have unconditional love have open communication act without fear of their anger that was a very important step for us that was something that's really an important step that was really everyone struggled with that one and earn your children's trust and respect at first we said haven't and then juanita said no no i want to earn it you know we we it was tough we said no this is a dream but in the perfect world we have to earn and that's one thing that we just talked about while we were listening to everyone the struggles and the conflicts and the corrections um we're just isn't this going to be great when we have all these things really went wait a minute we're at step two this is going to be a step 12 it's going to be an over walk um and then then we did men um we want to have fearless relationships want to see our own selves interdependent unconditional love trust loving hearing spiritual relationship honesty very important compatibility openness communication and security um and then friends loving understanding consistent uh allowed to be ourselves and vice versa and honesty trust giving and accepting so all of those are community So once you get this work done, to take step two, one needs to ask themselves this question. Do you believe that there is a power could make you this way? if not are you willing to believe that there's a power that could make you this way both of those is enough power to do the step if not am I remotely kind of willing to once in a while possibly think that maybe there is a power questionably that could be that could make me that way That's more than enough to answer that question. Not worrying about how or when, but in the existence of the possibility of that power, that step is done. Does that make sense? So as you put that in your energy system also kicks on and you see it's like once you see that I mean just to say that something this was someone's step it's like you don't hesitate to take step three and you go reading the big book and do what you need to do you look forward to the possibility see i don't believe that the creator made a set of steps to have them done by fear but when we can see that whole picture but you can see for the most part they all line up through those principles that there's no other place to line up to and we start to become principled people instead of fear-based systems then we don't react or act. And then we start see our point of view of the world changes because if you take a look at the human being and how it sees reality, if this is a human being, whatever that is. And let's just say this represents reality. See, there's this little concept that says what you see is what you get. So we really don't see, what we really see in reality is not with our senses. I have inside of my mind a projector, a camera That is my truth, my belief system, my habits, attitudes, expectations. And I will project out to the world and that becomes my reality. See, I will see in you what I see in YOU. So I could see good in you and that's what I would see. Somebody else would look at the same one, that's an asshole. Now who's right? Both. It's what you see, it's what get. These senses here, they merely very selectively gather information and it will filter out any information that would make you look crazy for thinking what you're thinking. Because the mind is designed, you see, to always make sure I'm not the nut. I know why you're the way you are. So my mind is always designed to make sure that I'm crazy for what I'm thinking. But as you go through the steps, you set the vision of the possibility, then you start to change the projection. You start to the change the reality and then all of a sudden, you see... It's sort of like people who really are judgmental to others by the law, you can guarantee you are judgmentable to yourself. You're really critical with yourself. So if you want to work on the issue of being judgmental towards others, you want quit that? Just work on quit being judgment to you. Lighten up on yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes. And as you do that, then all of a sudden you quit judging other people. It's always working inside. I think in the big book there is a line there I believe it's one of the greatest lines in the Big Book and it says So basically we think our problems are of our own making. That is the greatest blessing there is. Because what if they were of your making and you decided to not change it? I'd really be in trouble, especially if eight of you decided to not change me. So it really gets us into that position of choice. I don't even need to change you because I can change me It's not what's going on, it's how I'm looking at what's going on. And I start to line those up through the principles that the Creator, the Great Spirit gave us and all of a sudden the results will change in my life or in that. So, that's kind of what these steps are about. I believe that they are the most powerful thing I've ever seen on earth, in terms of the change of a human being. We won't get into it, but they are in a very specific order that allows the mind to change. You almost couldn't do it any other way. Okay. So, is there any comments on today? Just go all right, even though we've got just two steps. It's very, very powerful stuff. so the books enjoy them there's instructions that says we're in a big book to look at it so let's see you have you're taping some of this but if anybody wants to get it they get it from you right and so feel free to have that Debra you want to say anything I just want to say real quickly when you did it I was angry and it It amazes me how much I can still learn from all of you and how much wisdom that you guys have. Sometimes I think you're unaware of it and how you see it up there. And in a lot of Indian communities that we're in, a lot of the people really don't have that belief system that's inside of them. And I guess what we just put today is it is inside of you because you guys are for me. You know, I've learned a lot of things here today that I haven't learned anyplace else. And that wisdom came from inside of you. So I just want you guys to remember that you do have that inside of yourself. It's not out there in another human being. You know? It's inside of YOU and to kind of just keep believing in yourself. And thanks for allowing me to participate in all this. Thank you. All right. Thank you.