Twelve Step Workshop – Part 1 of 6 – 2024 – Peter M.

About This Speaker Tape

Twelve Step workshop - 2024

A childhood scarred by his mother's suicide and repeated attempts leaves Peter M. wrestling with a mind that feels like a loud air conditioner he can't shut off. He describes a life of 'claw marks' and internal warfare where he once played out fantasies of being Dirty Harry in his head while pretending to be serene in meetings. The shift comes through a rigorous commitment to the 10th and 11th Steps moving from an 'idol worshiper' of meditation tools—sage candles and music—to a quiet disciplined connection with his Higher Power. He recounts a visceral meditative experience where he finally received a hug from his mother a moment of closure that arrived only when his spiritual ground was fertile enough. Now he views himself as a 'hollow bone' and a 'pipe,' focusing on the 'dash' between birth and death by serving the 'icky' side of recovery—hosing down drunks and getting them to detox.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Peter M. opens by discussing the 'testosterone' and cliques often found at gender-specific recovery weekends.
• 11:15 Discussion of the 10th Step promises and the return of sanity.
• 22:40 The 'AA Gym': Peter discusses prioritizing the soul over physical vanity and gym culture in South Florida.
• 30:10 The 'Dash': A story about his sponsor, Mark H., and the meaning of the dash on a headstone.
• 38:20 The 'Subtle Foe': Analysis of the word 'subtle' in the context of alcoholism.
• 47:15 A story about his boss's narcissism and the use of a 10th Step inventory to avoid a violent confrontation.
• 56:40 The 'Loud Air Conditioner': Peter describes the noise of the mind during early meditation attempts.
• 1:05:10 The vision of the Carpenter and the hug from his mother; a moment of deep emotional release.
• 1:15:30 The 12th Step: Stories of 'icky' 12-step calls and hosing down drunks to get them to detox.