Tradition Two and Group Conscience – Traditions Workshop – Part 2 of 10 – Local AA Speakers

Good evening, my name is Herb and I'm an alcoholic. Welcome to our Twelve Tradition Workshop. Please join me in a prayer for an open mind. God, please set aside everything that I think I know about myself, my brokenness, the Twelve Traditions, and you for an open mind and a new experience with myself, my brokenness, the 12 traditions, and especially you. This is the foreword as it appeared in the AA tradition, how it developed, by Bill Wilson, published in 1955. How shall we AAs best preserve our unity? When an alcoholic applies the 12 steps of our recovery program to his personal life, his disintegration stops and his unification begins. The power which now holds him together in one piece overcomes those forces which had rent him apart. Exactly the same principle applies to each AA group and to Alcoholics Anonymous as a whole. So long as the ties which bind us together Prove far stronger than those forces Which would divide us if they could All will be well We shall be secure as a movement Our essential unity will remain a certainty May we never forget that without permanent unity We can offer little lasting relief To those scores of thousands Yet to join us in their quest for freedom It is the purpose of this workshop to review and discuss each of the 12 traditions so we may better understand and apply them to our fellowship and to our personal lives. Please join me in a few minutes of meditation on why we are here. Please join me in the serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. We are here to talk about our second legacy, unity. And to review the 12 traditions, crosstalk is allowed in a loving and supportive manner to be informed and helpful are our only goals. My back hurts right now So I'm sitting Give it a little rest A couple announcements The House of Hope Which is the organization That I've supported personally For the last 25 years With my efforts at being on the board And other kinds of activities And in fact Are the recipients Of my first book the guide book to the 12 steps out of the big book they own that book right from the beginning they get all the royalties on that book they probably generate six or seven hundred dollars a month as a result of that that's one of the reasons they are so supportive of me and the work that I do in terms of photocopy work and that kind of thing they're holding a talent show October 12th it's really fun people in recovery who have been in fact interviewed vetted that they actually have some talent yes you know how we are a little delusional sometimes and so there will be oh ten or twelve acts I believe Sunday Saturday I think October 12 at two o'clock in the afternoon so that's the Sunday thank you there are these little red postcards back there you just take them and follow instruction if you're interested in going the tickets are $25 apiece unless you unless you want a VIP it's at the Norris Theatre in Palos Verdes so it's a very classy kind of event and I think you'd be quite pleased if your interest also for those of you who are not receiving emails from my constant contact you know who you are because you're not receiving them that means you're not in my database whether you think you should or whatever it's evidence you're not in the database if you want to be go to my website and you can just register right there it's automatic all right so you can go to the website or you can give me a piece of paper with all the contact information especially email and we'll take care of that but I would prefer that you go directly to my website Susie you have a list of what oh if you want to sign up they up she has a form for that yeah okay great thank you for those of you who might have been interested in going to the workshop that Dr. Alan Berger and I are doing this Saturday in Pasadena, and you haven't RSVP'd, it's too late, all right? They're already oversold, and they're taking waiting kind of reservation. So if you're interested, you could still call and go on a waiting list or try just dumb luck and show up, but it's already oversubscribed. I guess when you do something for free, people really respond. Please let's use the microphone. If you're going to bring up a question or a comment of any kind, please use the mic so that we can have it recorded. And you know that, and I'm announcing officially, that we are recording these sessions. if you don't want to be recorded don't talk if you don't, if you want to talk and you don' t want your name don't give it alright, it's really straight forward we are recording this session my comments and any comments that we can pick up from you that's why I'm really suggesting strongly and I don't care how powerful you think your voice is alright, so very large room Use the microphone But also I think we got bogged down a little bit Last time In some sharing of some experience And some amplification Of other experiences And I don't want to put any Restrictions on you I want you though to Manage your Input that you give us By questions or comments Or highlights To make sure that you filter it through is this relevant to exactly what we're talking about and will it help the discussion? Is it on point with what we are talking about right now or is it from 15 minutes ago or is anticipating 15 minutes from now? All I'm saying is let's be really thoughtful so that we can in fact try to engage in a good substantial discussion about the tradition and not get caught up in a lot of bureaucratic detail that might be good for an informal conference but isn't so supportive of what we're doing here is to have a broad feel and a deepest feel as we can have for the tradition, its meaning literally, but it's also its meaning in the spirit. So just manage yourselves. I won't attempt to manage you. I can't anyway, right? Be realistic. I've handed out another comparison that I've developed from my experience In conducting small informal workshops on the traditions And you might find it helpful as we go through each of the traditions I handed out once one before which talked about the principles of the tradition It's one of those that's in this format and then this one here is about the substantial substance the spiritual substance of anonymity is a sacrifice and it talks about the sacrifice that is you're invited to with each of the traditions what we give up and what we keep these are just personal reflections of mine as I was studying the traditions and going through previous workshops but I think that they might be helpful to you to stimulate your thinking about the tradition itself also if you're interested in an expanded version of the meditation practice when I in the step workshop when I talk about step 11 I stay primarily on the material from the big book and the 12 and 12 with a little introduction concerning my contemplative practice and exposure and experience to that through centering prayer this i've been invited by a retreat center in palace verdes mary and joseph to do a half a day one through to five o'clock uh saturday november first just on centering it's not i'm not coming from a perspective of 12-step at all although obviously there will be some of that in there because that's who i am but they've asked me to present a training on centering prayer for those people who are not in 12-step or necessarily all right now it's everybody's welcome but it's going to be geared to the general community of people who are interested in a contemplative practice especially meditation via the centering prayer mechanism. So let's start with the traditions. I like to give kind of a little context as we're looking at the traditions, contrasting the traditions with the step work that we've done. The steps name our personal weaknesses and deal with these in the individual. The traditions name these same personal weaknesses, but that affect the group. These weaknesses diminish the community strength. The traditions deal with character defects of the group, the individuals have character defects, and when we get together, it's character defects on steroids, isn't it? The same instincts for survival gone awry in the individual that we looked at in step four are the instincts for revival that go awry in the group. We are a fellowship of defects. In fact, I think I've mentioned before, Ernie Kurtz has written a book called Spirituality of Imperfection. It's a bunch of stories about people on a spiritual journey and they find it through their wounds and their defects and the cracks in the vase. Without the steps, the individual gets sicker. The steps act or give us the ability to perform acts contrary to our own will, especially through accountability. Without the traditions, the group gets sickier. The traditions are acts contrary to the group will through the group conscience and we'll be talking some about that tonight the steps in the traditions are guidelines steps and traditions our guidelines to humility and the purpose is union with god through people union with God directly through the steps through people through the traditions so I like to kind of warm it up with those kinds of comments and then we take a look at the assignment list and let's begin looking at the assignments here for tradition three and the first suggestion is that you read and highlight language of the heart now oh I'm sorry tradition to tradition two is what we're on thank you look at me just ripping ahead all right tradition two thank you i saw the panic of where have i been did i miss a week yeah no you didn't miss a weak i just missed a loop all right so i have on order more of the brochures the group more of the brochure's the traditions illustrated and more of the books the language of the heart i'm assuming that they're going to be ready on thursday i will be picking them up and bringing them up next tuesday meanwhile i'm under the impression i think we had this discussion that you can download this or at least look at it through the web and we you know how to do that and if you don't ask somebody who does not me and so let's take a look at tradition 2 in the language of the heart and what I'd like to do is it's only a page-and-a-half I would like to take a look at the first paragraph and ask you are there any highlights in that paragraph i don't want to read it because I'm assuming that you've done that work you've read it and that you highlighted that's the whole point I don't want us to give you an assignment and then do the assignment here that will train you into laziness i want to assume that you have in fact done the assignment all right so let's take a look at page 77 in the language of the heart and is there anybody that has a highlight on that page that they would like to comment on i encourage you to use the the mic but i won't require it comments on uh language of heart page 77 first paragraph no highlights Okay. Say what? No, I'm not going to read it. I'm nicht going to go back on that. But the key points that I have, sooner or later every AA person that's not said, the word isn't in there, but I say it, comes to depend upon a power greater than himself. And then later on, on the next page, he contrasts that with every AA group follows the same cycle of development, coming to rely on God through the group conscience. And in the first paragraph, it's relying on God through guidance in meditation. That's the first paragraphe, first line. Sooner or later, every AA comes to depend upon a power greater than himself. He finds that the God of his understanding is not only a source of strength but also a source of positive direction. It's in italics because Bill's experience was looking for guidance in meditation. That was the training he got in the Oxford group. A new inner security with a sense of destiny and purpose are the highlights that I have on that page. I'm going to turn the page unless Sarah has a comment oh another highlight and you're not going to use the microphone alright yeah Do you want to connect it to the next paragraph then, please, about the group? Please. It is the collective conscience of its own membership. Daily experience informs and instructs this conscience. The group he gives to recognize his own defects of character... See the connection between the first and the second paragraph? He talks about the impact of the steps on illuminating and removing the character defects of the individual through conscious contact with God. And then in the second paragraph, he talks about the process of eliminating the character defect of the group through the group conscience. Yeah? And in this way, the group becomes better able to receive right direction towards its common figures. So it's the greater power, the greater power, and that's in capital G, capital P, the greater Power is then working through a clear group conscience. Thank you, Sarah. Alright, how about the balance of that material? Anybody have any highlights on that page? George. Yay, George uses the microphone. I hope it's on. Hi, George Brown, alcoholic. I actually saw something in the beginning of the first paragraph on page 78. You know, the AA group follows the same cycle of development. It doesn't mention inventory specifically, but this is one of the elements of development for the alcoholic, the individual alcoholic. And I became aware many years into sobriety that there is something called a group inventory. And that is a process by which a group tries to figure out where it's going. I mean, how are we doing with regard to helping the newcomer and commitments and so on? And so I see that in here, although it's not stated specifically. Thank you, George. And it's an area that really is a very healthy study if you're interested in improving the culture of your group, is to take a look at the pamphlet on the group and specifically the area that describes group conscience and group inventory. And I know there are some groups that do an inventory. It's a business meeting. Outside of the group time, it's a special meeting for anybody who's interested in the group to do a group inventory, and sometimes it takes two or three hours to have that discussion, but it talks about how can we be really helpful to the people who come into our group. Very healthy discussion. Thank you, George. Anybody else have any comments on that? Please, thank you. Hi, I have a question. Hi, Dawn. We need to talk a lot about... Jan? Jan, yes. ...the laws that we use for, like, kind of the family or the structures. Are we going to, like... the only thing that i come up with is that with meditation it helps to know what the oh what the group conscience would be but other than that i don't know as applied to the family you're saying family or friends friends or relationships well some of the questions are like that they are but and the discussion we have not really talked about we last time we got sort of caught into a lot of discussion about the literal and the spiritual sort of connotations of the traditions and shared a lot experience. And we actually didn't get to the questions, which I think will be very fruitful discussion here. So that's why I made the pre-announcements that I did. So we will be looking at that. Yeah. Thank you. Let's just keep that up here and then if people aren't willing or able to come up to the microphone, we'll just have version of Vanna White here all right alcohol will discipline him is I have that underline the collective conscience of the group will be given will given time almost surely demonstrate its perfect dependability and here's the key to tradition too it's tied to step 2 tradition 2 and step 2 are very tied together. Ask yourself, what is it that you believe about God? Is there such a thing? How does it operate? What's its role in the group? How does it function in the groups? And Bill has a line at the bottom. A loving God as God may express God's self in our group conscience. Really, do you believe that? Do you believe that the spirit underneath human existence and i'll be as broad as that in my sort of poetic concept do you believe the spirit beneath the life force that is in every individual do you belief that spirit is the creator and the source do you belive that that's divinity Do you believe that's the mystery, the holy, the sacred God as we understand him or don't? All right. Because that's what this is based on. And so you really have to challenge yourself about what decision did you make in step two about God? In context of then whether you trust the group process or not, because that's it's based on that. That it's not just a series of individuals. It's a network that's held together by the glue of the spirit that generates the force and the source of the conscience. Nicole, you want to hand the mic to me? Dang, your hair is getting shorter. Yeah, yeah, really. Next time you go to my barber. You have more than I do. Hi. I'm moving on to this just a little bit, but I think it really coincides. I only underlined one thing in this which says minority ideas get thoughtful attention. And I didn't really see anything in the 12 and 12 nor language of the heart that specifically mentioned the minority. It was really just when I started reading this. And I feel like that's where the entire experience of God in this comes from. is listening to all people, because it's not the majority of members. It's the Spirit speaking through all members and each member. And there's the sacredness of the individual member, that minority member that Nicole is talking about. And she brought us to the illustrated. But before we do that, I forgot to do this Let's take a look at what are the traditions And those questions that we have with the worksheet If you have that marked out It has the short form and the long form of the traditions And then three questions What did I hear? What does it mean? What are the implications for my life? That's a worksheet to help guide you And keep you engaged in this discussion even though you don't verbally participate, you can in fact from a thoughtful standpoint be listening to what's being said and perhaps have your own reflection that you record on this worksheet. The short form of the second tradition is for our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority, a loving God as God may express himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants. they do not govern than the long form which actually turns out to be shorter than the short form which is yeah it's really curious isn't it for our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority a loving god as god may express himself in our group conscience all right and so let's take a look at the uh legacy i mean excuse me the illustrated pamphlet. Does anybody have any other observations connected to the second tradition from this pamphlets? George. Hi, George, alcoholic again. Well, to build on what Nicole was saying, a minority opinion is an extremely important element of the group conscience. Most people don't have any opportunity to experience this, but I've been in general service and we do have long loving discussions of various issues after which votes are taken. And whenever there is a vote taken, after that, the minority gets to express opinion. And there may be one minority, that person gets to expressed their opinion. And at that point, the discussion is opened up again. And what happens in some cases is truly incredible. As a result of the minority opinion being expressed, the majority opinion changes as a result to the subsequent vote. And that is truly an example of the spirit of God at work because people are actually listening, which is not like what happens in real life probably. People are actually listening and they hear something that they hadn't thought of before. To get back to sort of an earlier thing, do you believe God is at work here? I think people on Alcoholics Anonymous sort of are trying in a way that people out in the regular world aren't. We have a program, most of us really try to live by it so we bring a more spiritual approach to what we're doing than I think we would or other people would on the outside world. Yeah, yeah, and please. Just an alcoholic. I've been to a lot of meetings, and I notice there's always an ebb and a flow in a meeting, and sometimes there's a group conscious. and the people who normally show up aren't really there and that the group conscience gets decided by a bunch of people that have nothing to do with the meeting. And usually the whole thing gets screwed up and over time it works itself out. But do you believe that God is working even in a bad situation where people aren't constantly going to the meeting and constantly caring for them how what would be the any other explanation well i i just i just i i've seen i've i've seeing coups no i understand but but i just what what else how else would you interpret well i don't i don' t really want to i i don''t i know i would see it as that's more of a will thing than absolutely yeah it's it's group will run riot yeah absolutely and when that happens i i have to let it go you know you don't have to but i can't get upset about it yeah yeah right yeah thank you all right so i don't want to get buried in this discussion all right, so if you have something that's going to move the discussion forward yes but if it's going be more of the same experience I'd rather just move on so I'll recognize you Dave just a quick observation i just love you're going to use the mic yeah just a quick observation um i love the way the guy is trying to like control it and he knows best and then the group conscience and the way they described it here down boy yeah you know it was just just lovely so i just thought that was very humorous well it just an observation it illustrates visually what really happens is the deflation of the ego of the individual through the group conscience exactly please hi i'm sandy and um this uh back in the language of the heart the thing that was so interesting to to me when I read this was that in that first paragraph, they're talking about the individual learns, he makes his mistakes and he learns from daily experience what his remaining character defects are and becomes ever more willing that they be removed. But then it says, and every group follows that same cycle of development and that was something that I hadn't really thought before that a group is learning and growing and expanding and changing just like the way that I am there you go yeah and that's the direct analogy for it to Kim hi Kim Allen on so so what I hear today is this but they must always remember that they serve for the good of all without authority over any and you You know, this really what we talked about last week with humility and bringing it back to that. And also it brings me back to step one where I'm powerless but I'm not helpless. I have a voice and I can speak what I want and I have vote on that. So I bring my humility to that, I don't bring my self-will to it. And it's like when I make an outreach call in Al-Anon or when I take an outreach call, I might hear something that I might not have thought of, the faith in that. even at work, I use that when I'm sitting in a room full of people trying to make something, you know, a project go the way we want to go. I come in with my self-will and my ego, but I have to remember like, okay, this is my choice in how I want to speak this, but I Have to be open to hear everyone and ultimately, you know go to God that maybe I don't know everything, you Know, but I'm not helpless. I still get to have my voice and that's That's what this, this is what Tradition II gives to me. It says I can have a voice, I can practice it, but I practice it with humility. Well at the same time, I'm powerless but I am fully responsible. So another take off of what you're saying. Absolutely wonderful, thank you. Less. Less is more. less alcoholic I also highlighted the phrase that the lady before me just mentioned but what I saw was and then it says AA is both a democracy and Bill's word a benign anarchy it's a group that elects its own officers who have no power to order anybody to do anything and when I reread the highlight what came to me was just like the group conscience or the group power is the ultimate authority for how the group runs, ultimately God or our higher power is the alternate authority about how we should live our lives or perceive the world. But even though it's the ultimate power, it doesn't order or dictate us. We still have free will to do what we want. So there's a similarity in why there's the possibility of perpetuating an AA group because of the benign aspect and the lack of authority to order any of its members to do anything yeah in the same way we sit in meditation for guidance we sit-in group conscience for guidance in meditation if we get the guidance it's merely a suggestion as as less pointed out for the group but for the individual we have free will and we can always say no now there will be consequences if we say yes and there will be consequences if we say no we get to choose our consequences yeah exactly please nicole al-anon i don't know if you've seen this or not but it is the conflict resolution using the 12 traditions for alan on and it's pretty awesome and conflict resolution for using the traditions in al-anon that sounds really interesting yeah well you can have this because i have another one so um tradition 2 says group conscience mutual respect and then it has a little blurb but if you flip it over and the nice thing is is it's very much from all relationships perspective from in the group to work to home relationships and so the group conscience mutual respect what steps can each of us take to be respectful to others ideas and opinions what role does a loving higher power play in our conflict how can we open our minds to hear what others are saying knowing that our higher power will bring us to an informed group conscience well and thank you nicole you can see that respect would come directly from my opening comments concerning what is it that you believe about God. If in fact your beliefs parallel mine in some way, that it is the spirit underneath our spirit and life force, then every individual has that as its source. And that would be then the source of respect for the individual all right so thank you that's good yeah john i can see your hand hesitating but i know it's been up before so i'm john i'm an alcoholic yes along those lines and the little picture of the woman with the hearts um so i walked into a particular room in aa and i and i witnessed very much a welcoming um you know you're a newcomer you're welcome a lot of love and all that kind of stuff and then one day i was uh furloughed from work and i went to seven different meetings all across los angeles and the thing that i was struck by is that the spirit of the higher power that there was something that was in each and every single one of those rooms and it was similar it was that welcoming hand outstretched uh a statement of responsibility that we all hold dear in the rooms of aa yeah thank you yeah okay any other highlights or comments were on the illustrated brochure anybody have any other please jackie hi i just highlighted something out of the illustrated one it says its voice is heard when a well-informed group gathers to arrive at a decision and i've been at meetings where there is a dominant person kind of running over the meeting and people kind of just go along with it so they're not willing to hear everybody speak they rush they rush through a vote and it's like oh let's just get this over with okay who wants to do it it's done what just happened exactly It's a democratic process, but it's sort of a pressure of the multitude in a way. And people are not that engaged or not that interested. And they certainly don't understand the group conscience process, which the key, as Jackie pointed out, is a well-informed decision. That's why George's comments are so important about the minority. Because if you hear one side of it and everybody goes, oh, yeah, yeah. because they're not that interested anyway and then some one person who really is interested and informed gets up to inform people and they go oh oh the implications oh the strategy oh the knowledge and they start to get a whole new take on it and that's what and that might take several weeks longer even sometimes for it to process but then it's a well-informed group conscience And without that, it's merely just a majority vote. And the group conscience is not a majority vote. Thank you very much, Jackie. A supplement. If you could share any experience, it is not a majority vot in these meetings I am referring to. It is one person who is dominating the group and then people are just not have the backbone to stand up. And it happens so fast. And there is no three weeks later let's talk about it some more it's done how to deal with that you try to inform the group about an informed group conscience and they might run you out of the city but uh but you know it's like uh yeah is i think you have to figure out is this the mountain i want to die on huh you know it's kind of like oh i don't agree with it but it's not that important yeah and you could do that too or start your own richard please I'd like to share an experience. Richard Alcoholic. Hi, Richard. Many years ago, many years ago I was working in Washington, D.C., and I stumbled into a Quaker meeting, the meeting of the friends. And they were having a group conscience that day. This was a fantastic experience, it was very spiritual. One of the issues that I find in our meetings and one of the things I think enriches our society is the experience is experience. We've had an opportunity, we've been around for a while and we've had experience in how to do things and bill talks about that why don't you stand on this side and turn the microphone this way and i yeah thank you more useful there you go you can see this ugly mug um in in in 12 and 12 bill talks about the value of the people who've been around for a while and what happens after a while they try to run the place and then it doesn't work and they get pushed aside and then the group begins to realize the value of their experience and they become wise elders I'm not applying for that job anyhow, back to the Quaker meat it was led by an elder and he posed the question that the group was to decide that day and people stood up one at a time and they talked about what they believed should be done and then sometimes there was silence for a while and then someone would stand up it was very patient it was very patient and very spiritual they were being moved by a power that was outside them so all the talking got done and there were people who had minority opinions and finally the elder said that my sense is that you want to do and he laid out the answer to the question and he said is there anyone who wants to talk about that and somebody stood up and said something anybody else no and the elder says then that is what we will do and i found out later by asking what about the people who didn't want to do that he said what we believe is that regardless of your choice in this question when the group decides it everyone does it willingly heartfelt completely because it's our choice it's not my choice your choice his choice but not her choice it's out of choice what a spiritual experience it was thank you thank you richard all right so yes please why don't you leave it turned that way they can address the group oh actually all right all right thank you david another bozo on the bus i qualify for many programs here and um actually i had that experience at one of those meetings is that um uh david alcoholic um you know what george was saying is that that that that service structure really makes it really clear that you know that you you know, the more service that you're doing, the more that you have service to yourself and to the others. And so you're listening. And I've been in meetings where the group conscience, where somebody is trying to dictate the bleeding deacons, I think they call it, where they're suppressing the other people in the group, that the group isn't that healthy. And I've observed this in other spiritual groups where, not 12 Steps, where the health of the group actually diminishes. And actually meetings close up because of that, because people are not following those traditions, that group conscience. And to the question that you asked, absolutely, it's God's will. It's what happens. What happens is God's will, but there's a process that could have a different outcome and that then would be God's Will also. So yeah, it's an easy answer. It's all God's Well. All right, how about the 12 and 12? A little more grist for the mill. Page 132 through. It's quite long, so I'm going to take it by the page And we're going to look at each page It's six pages And we'll be looking at each Page to see the Highlights on the page And so Anybody have Any highlights on page 132? The only highlight I have is that We learned that the sole authority in AA is a loving God as God may express himself in the group conscience, which is a repeat of the tradition itself. Let's go to page 133. Anything on that page? No highlights. It either means you didn't read it or you didn'T think that there was anything worthwhile on it. All right? So my comments are He feels a spiritual and ethical compulsion I found that a terrific statement A spiritual compulsion Which means there's an organic growth From you for this to evolve He visits preachers, doctors, editors Policemen and bartenders it also then is revealing the proactivity of Bill and the early people now this was written in 1946 48 published in 52 but it talks about the being very proactive in going out to do the service work or today we primarily go to meetings but there is a service facility within the structure called hospitals and institutions. And so that's another way of our going out and providing service on a proactive basis. Founders and their friends are sometimes wiser and more humble than this. that's sort of the ingredients of the elder that we've been talking about a little bit an elder doesn't mean that you're old although there is a correlation because most of us human beings learn from our mistakes and the accumulation of our mistakes and the only way you accumulate mistakes is you live long enough to try to correct some of them we're passing the basket you know the drill we're a little light in attendance We do need to make rent, so try to target the $5. And if you can't afford anything, don't pay it. And if You Can Afford More, drop it all in there. Page 134, any highlights on that page? Please, Marvin. and so this is the way we will be conducting the workshop is looking at the work that you've done assuming that they've made some highlights and some questions or some experiences that you want to share and we'll go through that i'm going to try to get to the questions tonight so that we can have some more connection to experience in relationships it's on the top the founders and his friends are hurt and depressed they rush from crisis to crisis and from member to member pleading but it's no use the revolution is on the group conscience is about to take over and my name is Milton from Al-Anon. I went to two different churches before, and whatever the pastor was preaching out of the Bible, he would pick certain passages, and that's what the church went on. And I found that very depressing, and I didn't want to be involved in anything like that before. So when I came to the um al-anon and i started realizing how spiritual it was i was really happy and fascinated that um we have a group conscience and that we let god yeah take over so there's no dogma yeah and there's uh no official dogmatic person there's lots of unofficial dogmatic persons yeah but you know like change of leadership so if we get one bozo for six months and then you know we get a better person afterwards you know it really works out for the benefit of the group right well and that's another point they make in some place in the literature that i've read is every they recommend every six months rotation of positions and it just keeps it fresh and it keeps people from becoming vested in their position and then potentially misusing or abusing it hi sandy alcoholic the other thing that it says is you're talking about rotation and what he just read about the revolution is on and one of the definitions for the word revolution is to revolve yes and so that it just continues it's a circular thing and it's not like it gets somewhere it just continues to revolve it keeps reflecting the dynamic of evolution that's right i love the phrase these wisdom people are servants not senators the leaders have a role of service the elder statesman On page 135 he contrasts that with the bleeding deacon I mean, the polar opposites They become, the elder statesmen Become the real and permanent leadership in AA Theirs is the quiet opinion The sure knowledge and humble example That resolve a crisis They become the voice of the group conscience they lead by example the group conscience is well advised by the elders and will be in long run wiser than any single leader this is my highlights on page 135 anybody on 136 or 137 this really builds a story of experience that he's bringing home this tradition anybody want to recap it uh in terms of the story you rely on me to do that all right bill is poor really dog poor he and lois have lost their house they're living in the second story of the alano club and uh she's working in a retail outlet for minimum wage at those days and bills don't totally focused on helping others and so he's at the hospital town's hospital and and the owner says bill you i think you got something going here i thinkyoujustbasicallyinventedstarbuckscoffee i mean no he saw it he saw that the the franchise ability of what bill was doing uh these are my words and uh bill and he says bill why don't you bring your program here to town's hospital it'll pump some revenue into the hospital you can be the lead consultant and counselor and we'll even we'll give you a salary and we're giving you a piece of the action well bill said whoa you know that's a that's a three strike all right i'm i'm in any any on and on the train going back to his home he's reviewing and meditating because there was something he didn't quite feel right about so he needed to have it spiritually based and he pulled on a line from the bible the uh worker is uh worthy of his hire and bill goes there it is it's it's i can quote the bible on this one that must be good and he rushed into the home to tell low drunks that she was feeding at and and lois said uh bill sit down and eat and literally and and he was explaining then to the alcoholics in his home at that time and and none of them were speaking but one of them finally had the voice he said bill money will ruin this thing this is a spiritual venture all right and you cannot do that And they had a very big group discussion. And despite Bill's need and despite Bill his ego, he listened to the group and he turned it down. You know, thank God that's the story that he relates here. And he gives us a phrase. He gives us the phrase here at the end which I've actually used in the last six months for my own personal discernment. He says, the good is the enemy of the best. The good may be the enemy of the most. So each one of us has talents. Each one of use can do many things. On a scale of 1 to 5 we can do ones which are just outrageously wonderful and on the scale of 5 is still really good. People need it. It's useful. People will pay you for it. But it's not as important as number 1. The good, number five, is the enemy of number one. Because to the extent that you use your time and talent on numbers four and five, you don't have time and talents for number one, which is your primary gift. I've been doing a discernment recently, for lots of reasons, about my activity. And I use the scale of one to five. and one being my gift, my destiny, my passion and there's no question as to what that would be and everything else falling into 2, 3, 4, and 5 including the two part-time functions that I have with treatment centers. One function is a marketing function and one function is spiritual counselor to the treatment center and those they they they ranked four and five and I resigned last week from both of them because I can't be distracted from number one see and that was a group conscience in the sense of my sponsor my therapist my spiritual director and my wife I you know vetted this concept with everybody to just make sure that it wasn't just some delusional reaction and i'm really feeling a sense of freedom as the result nicole alanon so mine was uh mine was on the relationship between family because my biggest relationship in my is still with my family i was i'm the oldest So I was always looked at as the authority figure in that respect. But then I instilled myself as the Authority Figure because, well, my parents are crazy and alcoholics. And so I just – but they also allowed me. They helped me do that. So it created a lot of confusion for self. But in working the steps – well, I'll back up a little bit. So they always would call me and I'd be in the middle of all the conflict. And I would probably, I mean more often now having looked back I acerbated it because I'm not even in the same state and I'm trying to solve conflicts when I'm not even there. So it was all just based on gossip. And now nobody calls me unless they want my opinion on something to do with just them. They don't talk to me anymore about outside, about each other in the family. And that was all a direct result of setting boundaries and allowing God in between each and every relationship that I have. So there's no longer, I no longer have that authority figure in my family and it's been a huge relief. But it isn't always easy because I still get to hear things and I still want to fix them. but that's what putting God in the middle and turning them over has done for me. Yeah, the term authority comes from the word author, right? The source. Please. Mary Jo, just tilt it down a little bit. Well, I don't do well with authority. I haven't my entire life. And so it was, you know, I just kind of, I'm better than I was. But when I got to AA and I saw that, you know, there was groups that I had to hang out in. And then I had a group of people that were to get along better at work. And I had do different things to, you know, have a better life. I kind of would, can I just jump down to the prayer, Herb? Because kind of. Please. That'd be great. OK. God, you are the ultimate authority. and I trust that your will for others is the best that your love for us all I hope will help us to become better people and live in harmony and unselfishness that kind of is how I feel thank you notice how the structure of the assignments is to do some reading from the literature then to do somereflections from your own experience and then to combine both the readings from the literature and your own experience into some prayer that is reflective of the spirit of the tradition so if you follow that sort of technique sort of learning i think you'll have a different experience with that as several of you have sharing have obviously had all right so let's move on to question number five and i think that's the one here and that would be write a paragraph about how how i acknowledge god as my ultimate and loving authority how open am i to god's expression of god's self in others and in the following a a at work my personal relationships with family and friends this is now god as the ultimate and loving authority it's kind of a combination of tradition too and step two for sure anybody have any comments experiences resistances about this and they would like to share with us please there we go a new voice there's no right or wrong answer here you see this is really tapping in now to your personal reflections and experiences and how to make the traditions come alive for you not in aa but in your life please thanks hi i'm barbara alan on and also alcoholic addict all right barbora hi so I love you said resistance too because this has been a big one for me at my work I've I've had actually the honor and privilege to work with children that die um of uh of cancer and it's been a huge spiritual crisis in my recovery and just about uh kind of firing God and deciding that the God I had actually wasn't loving enough and big enough uh and I still struggle with it sometimes. But what I've come to is that I'm not God, because I used to want to be God in that situation and fix things for people. And why would God ever do such a horrible fucking thing? Because that was my opinion. Sorry to curse. And so I felt really buried actually. And it's when my drug addiction took off was in that context. But one of the things about acknowledging of myself of not being so powerlessness and also not being God is being able to be a servant in a situation that can be really vulnerable, difficult, sad for people to find love in myself and to find that loving God in a space that sometimes doesn't seem to exist. And also it helps me in my Al-Anon program too to realize that I'm not God and that I need to allow for a space for people to sort that out for themselves as I too get to sort that out in that moment and I get to see these wonderful opportunities of love expressed whether it's a husband like two two people that I mean I'm assuming they've been married for years and his wife is dying and he stands at her bedside holding her hand and just loving her and so there is a loving God there I get to see that acknowledged to sometimes so I still resist the concept because I am not gonna lie there are times when I do want to play God in that setting especially with children but but I find that it if I can find in myself a place of and I think the tradition talked about it of servitude I mean it like I'm enslaved but of being a servant for for God's love in that moment and just be present without you know the Al-Anon wanting to fix things for you and I'm gonna make it better um then i i can find god in myself too if that makes any sense yeah thank you very much for sharing yeah wonderful any other expressions from question number five how about question number six uh consider and write a reflection about what degree of trust in god's will for others that i possess trust in god s will for others that I possess do I trust God will be a part of the various groups I am a part of how do I demonstrate that trust when things don't go my way the question um number six the the statement that really I had an aha about is do I trust that god will be part of the various groups i am a part of and i i realize that there's a big disconnect for me with my 12-step groups and things like work you know work groups or or collaboratives at work and i actually was i first wrote i started answering by writing a question what degree of trust should i have in groups that express no interest in or do not purport to be spiritual entities which every AA group is ought to be a spiritual entity it's in another tradition so you know my I had to then reflect on my own question and sort of answer my question and I realized that if I actually was questioning God's presence or God's work in any group than And I was sort of challenging God's eminence, his presence, his relevance, his activity in human affairs. And I realized that that was a lack of humility on my part and I thought about it from a perspective of humility, I guess I have kind of two responsibilities in whatever group I'm working with, an occupational group or whatever it is you know one is that you know i that i am willing to accept the group conscience as representing his authority whether or not i agree with it and and then two i think this is something that i think kim had said right at the beginning which is humility also gives me a responsibility to speak up if i don't agree because you know sometimes you just i just want to check out right and if i i don'T like how this is going so you do whatever the hell you want even part of this anymore. I'm just sitting here, you know. And that's ego as well, you know. I mean, if God can speak through any members, then God can speak through me as well. And if I'm not willing to share my own voice, then I'm not willing for my higher power. And that's not right either. So I have the responsibility to accept the outcome, but have the responsibility to participate and share what i truly believe in a respectful way so that's what i came to through working through that question six you forgot your own way when you don't get your own ways when i don't pardon like that you said about having a voice and when you don't do it your own because you decided to be brave and speak up right Oh, well, I have to accept it for then and then realize that if this group is a spiritual... If this group isn't, you know, I'm thinking of work generally. So if this work group is an entity then first of all they have a right to be wrong just like every group has a right but through trial and error and growth and evolution they will eventually group will eventually will align with with the authorities will with God's will I have to trust that yeah sure please well we got to and through lots of the questions tonight we will continue with that kind of rigor uh i really appreciate your listening to the suggestions at the beginning and and cooperating with it hi i'm bonnie i'm an alcoholic uh this step six and it talks about considering right reflection about the degree of trust in god's will for others it brought me right down this section in 12 and 12 under step 11. It says on page 104, sometimes we're tempted to think we know God's will for other people. We say to ourselves, this one ought to be cured of his fatal malady, that one ought to be relieved of his emotional pain, and we pray for these things, these specific things. Such prayers, of course, are fundamentally good, but often they are based on the supposition that we know it's God's Will for that person for whom we're praying. There is a certain amount of presumption and conceit in us. And it is by my experience that I have often found that the most tragic things that I've experienced in my life have been the greatest gifts. And often when I go to a group consensus or a group consciousness taken and it doesn't go my way because I'm kind of opinion and a little arrogant and often it doesn' t go my because, you know, I'm a little headstrong. What I have learned is that in the long run it goes exactly the way it's supposed to be. And I currently belong to a group of people that have a lot of structure and a lot traditions and a lots of rules, and what I've found is that the greatest number are served based on the way they've learned to do things more than the way I think I should be doing things so yeah thank you very much all right yeah alex one more all right hello so this is a little bit uh possibly five maybe seven um and it's just a reflection that i was thinking about while listening to everybody talk and i'm noticing that right now i am going through a lot of struggles and I have kind of given myself this boundary of just to assume that everything's happening for a reason. And as a codependent, I want to problem solve and figure it out. And I hurt myself so much by dwelling and thinking and reflecting back and trying to figure it ahead of time. And i've given myself the rule to just trust it's all the way it's going to be. Don't think about the future, don't think about the past and i'm finding so much serenity and peace and everything is just the sun rises again and the next day is beautiful and i get to process and figure out the next step one day at a time and i think this really goes along with the um that authority of just relinquishing my sense of sense of god internal sense of God that I am the higher power but just trusting and trusting that everything will be okay everything does end up being okay so that's my experience thank you and you know that that reminds me both of your last share reminded me of what broke the code for me which i shared with you who are in this step workshop with me about the 11th step when this man who is not in the program but a very spiritual man said to me herb you're responsible for the effort the results are none of your business both of you said the same thing it's kind of like do the best you can and detach from the process and the results and just trust that god's in the mix so the message underneath the underneath the beneath is really trust in God. And that's the reflection question perhaps for you to take from here today and go into this, the third tradition and prepare for our discussion for next week. Now, next week, I assume we'll be back in the other place. I like this place, but I don't think it's available to us at the right price for us. They gave us a little taste of upgrading and teased us. our respective 12-step fellowships help their members maintain their personal recovery and encourage them to offer to share their recovery experience freely with others who may have a similar problem this we owe to our fellowship's future to place our common welfare first to keep our fellowship united for on unity depends our lives and the lives of those to come when anyone anywhere reaches out for help we want the hand of our fellowship always to be there and for that we are responsible after a moment of silence please join me in the prayer of st. Francis Lord make me a channel of thy peace that where there is hatred I may bring love that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness. That where there is discord, I May bring harmony. That where there is error, I May bring truth. That where there is doubt, I May bring faith. That where there is despair, I May bring hope. That where there are shadows, I May bring light. That where there is sadness, I May bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted to understand and to be understood to love then to be loved for it is by self-forgetting that one finds it is bye forgiving that one is forgiven it is buy dying that one awakens to eternal life amen there's flyers on the workshop this one and on the step workshop coming up in january back there do the assignment three and we'll see you next week