The Voodoo of Alcoholics Anonymous – Danny T.

My name is Danny, I'm an alcoholic and wow, I uh, I sure love Alcoholics Anonymous and And a blonde? Todd, no wonder I can't keep our relationship going. You know what I'm saying? and when they tell you that you're on a journey they really mean it you know I finally realized that I could be a fortune teller I could But if people from, especially newcomers, if newcomers came to me and said, You know what, Danny? I want a drink. You know, I still want to go drink. Could you tell me what was going to happen? I could be wearing one of those like hats with the little moons on one of them. The moons, one of dem hats, you know, with the moons. Hamya Hamya you're going to go to jail Hamya you're gonna lose your family your wife's other husband is going to throw you out of the house and go right down the line and what would be amazing is when that stuff started happening because it will God I should have listened That guy really knew what he was talking about. It's a fortune teller, you know? And folks, it's like not that difficult. Do you understand? I thank God. You know, because the first time, I hate to say it, but the first Time I was ever in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting was 1959. You know? And I thought it was a party. You know what I'm saying? You know, it's like there's about 20 of us cruising around in Pacoima. A whole carload, you know. And we've seen about like, you Know, 30 cars parked out in front of this old house right on the corner of Van Nuys Boulevard and Lev Street. And it's not there no more. The 5 Freeway took it just before the 5 Free way. And we seemed like Pacoima was like our neighborhood. This is like the murder capital of the world, and they're having an event, and they'RE not inviting the murderers. It was like crazy. And we stopped the car. We go to the trunk of the car to get the tools necessary to crash events, and we got tire irons, piece of pipe. I had a case of beer, three bottles of wine, and a half pint of whiskey. And I was already loaded on Red Devils. Oh, God, I hated those things. Every time I say Red Deviles, I think I'm going to get kicked by somebody. I was getting kicked. And loaded on pills. And we went to the door. Because you've got to kick in the... You can't knock if you're crashing into an event because they just lock the door and call the cops. Kicked in the front door and everybody rushed in. And there's only two greetings you can get when you crash an event. Either everybody rushes to the opposite side of the room, and that means they're willing to throw the event in your honor, or they rush to the side ofthe room that you're on. That's what them jacks and them tire irons and pieces of pipe are for. We kick in the door. The first thing we saw was a big sign that said, We care. We had just crashed the Friday night speaker's meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, the weak hair group. We got the stupidest greeting in the world. We had all these people rushing us going, Hi, I'm Bob. Hi, I'm Bob. And I had trained my troops. When you crash an event, you just never split up. You know, You just stay in a group at first until they realize that this is yours. This event is yours, and you guys did that divide and conquer thing because I turned around to get my guys out, and you had them all in like little groups of four all over. This guy comes up and introduces himself, and yeah, yeah, ja, ja. Let me out here. See, but I already, I picked up on you guys real quick. You know what I mean? Real quick. I was pretty sharp. I've seen the baskets. The baskets mean church. Church means anything that's fun is a sin. And then if you think of something, that's if you do it. If you think of something that's fun, it's a venial sin. If you do it, it is like a mortal sin. Either way, you are going to burn somewhere for eternity. So I turned away from church real quick. And I am trying to get out of here now. And I got this case of beer, three bottles of wine, half pint of whiskey. And I'm already stumbling on them red devils. This guy comes up, introduces himself and says, you know, Danny, why don't you put that stuff outside and join us? This is 1959 they're asking me to come into this place, you Know. Come on, old man. I got penitentiaries to go to. What the hell's wrong with you? He whispered the curse of Alcoholics Anonymous at an early age. I heard it. He said, Danny, if you leave this program, you will die, go insane or go to jail. Now, did you hear that little whoop, that little dip in the quiet? That was the voodoo of Alcoholics Anonymous. You all heard it, see? You should have did what I should have did. When he whispered that curse, I should have went, I can't hear you. I didn't do it and neither did you. And I know some of you think this guy's nuts. Let me tell you when that curse makes a lot of sense because for anybody that leaves, now you might forget everybody in this room, but you will not forget me. Because I got to whisper the curse. And that curse makes like a lot of sense when you're like driving and you know you're drunk or loaded. You know it. You're like, oh yeah, that's a good sign. And all of a sudden, bam, those lights go on And it makes your whole car orange. But watch those lights. Those lights go, die, go, and say you can go to jail. Die, go on, say you an go to gaol. Die, goes, ain't go to jaol. Die, I go. When you get home and your spouse, male, female, has everything you own on the front yard. And they're gone, and the neighbor's telling you. They left, and they said, just get your stuff and get out of here. That's what the neighbor says. What you hear is, die, go insane, or go to jail. And it's like from now on, the alternatives you have for staying in this program is dying, going insane, and going to jail, And I've been sober 37 years, and that has been proven to me over and over again by people. Nobody in 37 years has ever left this program and called me with some good news. Honest to God. I'm not, I swear to God, nobody has ever said, you know what, Danny? I'm going to go get loaded. I'm gonna go drink. I'm tired of this. and gone out, called me like two years later and said, hey, dad, you know what? No, I'm drinking. I'm drinkin' socially, yeah. I use a little, yeah, not just recreational, but my wife loves me. My kids adore me. I have a good job. My boss can't wait till I show up. Nobody has ever called me and said that. Nobody's ever calledme and said I'm having a good time. I get calls from people that leave, and usually it's weird because the phone will ring, and you'll hear somebody go, and there's usually kids screaming in the back, you know. And you hear a spouse, male, female, I don't know, whatever, it's a woman call me or a man, but you hear the spouse, come pick him up, we don't want him here anymore, we're sick of him, I'm calling the cop. And, oh, it's not working out. Oh, our hats are not going to be off to you. I actually had a friend of mine, a girl that used to go out and just, God, Danny, I want so bad for your hat to be Off to Me. It says that in the book about if you can drink like a normal person, our hats Are Off To You. And it's Not Going To Happen. Do you understand? We are afflicted with an incurable disease. And until we lock into that, do you understand, until we locked into that and realize, wait a minute, I don't have no power over this. This is an illness. This isn't a decision. I think I'll drink. It's not. See, that started three weeks ago. Tender sin? What I love. It's like they say, resentments. Resentments are like me taking poison, hoping you die. They are. I swear to God. Resentment makes me sick. And if you really want to... When you're resenting somebody, like resent them. And then watch them. Like the first week you resent them, they'll come in and they'll get to the podium and they will say I just got the most wonderful job I've ever had God's really because they got the wonderful job but don't stop keep resenting them a week later I don't know what my I bought a house I bought a house I'm so blessed no really then they come in walking with the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen I'm in a relationship they got that stupid look like and life is just it happens every time Every time I resent somebody, good stuff happens to them. So, I stop resenting people. I don't want to take poison, see? I don' t want to tak e poison. Life has been so good to me. Come into alcoholics now. And don' think I got like, you know, because I've been known to slip. I love that slip. I love the way people talk, I had a slip? I had a slip on Friday. Thank God I made it back for the Saturday morning meeting. That makes me mad. What a waste. I had a slip in 59, got out in 63. Had another little slip in 63, got out in 65. Had another little slip in 65, got out in 69. No more slips! Because you've got to remember, the first time we take that first fix, pill, drink or smoke any of that non-habit forming gangster grass, we can no longer guarantee our actions. No longer. It's done. See? And it doesn't start, right? It's not a decision. See that guy? I could not stand. I couldn't stand that guy coming in with that gorgeous blonde. I had my eyes on her. And that's the one that did it after all these belongings. It's a process. It's just a process, man. It's like life is beautiful. Life is so beautiful. There's a liquor store. I think I'll have a drink. It doesn't happen like that. Do you understand? And it's like slow, cunning, baffling, powerful, sneaks up, waiting patiently. I'm going to get this sucker. I'm waiting. Wait, see. And look at me. I mean, I shot heroin. I drank wine. Drank wine. Drank vine. Took pills. I'm out working in my backyard. and what do I hear in my head? But wiser. La cerveza mas fina. Are you kidding? I know. I know one beer always gives me a headache. It hasn't since I was 12. It's always given me a headache, one beer. And how do you get rid of the headache? Have another beer. And then two beers, it's just kind of like you're just not there. It's just, okay, I had two. You know there's four left in the six pack. Three, just kindof like, hey, three of your beers are always like, cool, man. Cool, three's cool. No, it' all right. There's three left. i can never you never my grandmother passed away thinking i was only drinking two beers because men especially mexicans are supposed to drink i mean it's that simple i'm sorry it's just cultural or something i don't know shit yeah and i'm clean and sober and i've gone to meetings and i're fresh out of the penitentiary and my grandmother would say No, grandma, I'm not drinking. I'm just kidding. Because she knows if I say I'm not drinking, I am lying. And so I'm sober like 20 years when she passed away and before she pitched up I finally okay, that's it. That is okay. It's cool. because to her too was none see and and it's always like you know this thing that we have this disease that we Have You Understand This Disease That We Have It's The Cunning Baffling and Powerful It Says It's An Obsession of It's It's A What Do I Hold On It's a Allergy Of The Body Coupled With An Obsession Of The Mind That Means Our Bodies Are Allergic To It Our Minds obsessed with it to understand obsessed with now the mind this mind is good this disease has that mind soda this disease wakes up 45 minutes before you do to understand 45 minutes this disease is awake you're still sound asleep you You don't even know this. This is the shit you learn after you're 35 years sober. You're sound asleep. The disease is wide awake. And it starts. You piece of crap. You can't keep a relationship. Look at you. And don't think I forgot what you did when you were five. Yeah, I remember you Piece of crap So when you open up When you wake up You're like Oh God, I'm a piece of crap And unless I get on my knees That's why they say The first thing they want Spray That's the only thing That'll get that monster asleep Dear God Please Get it out of my head It's cool And it's not going to tell us Go drink It's not it's not a go use it's going to just you piece of crap I'm a piece of scrap I'm no good and I did bad things so you stay there long enough stay angry long enough you know and all of a sudden opportunity some kind of way that's when you see a liquor store that's where you hear and somebody shows up with a bud see so it's like a process and people keep thinking that the decision is not see so i gotta make sure wait a minute okay now what am i doing man am i talking to newcomers yeah i love it i love when one of my sponsees call man and then she went wait a moment how many newcomers did you talk to today oh well you hey i got a lot of stuff going on Well, shut up. Call me back after you talk to a newcomer. See, because once I start talking to a new comer, once I started working with another alcoholic, the disease has to shut up, has to shout out. But just sitting there and waiting, sitting there. So as long as I keep doing what I'm supposed to be doing, saying my prayers, working my low steps, I screw the tradition I'm sorry I'm joking I just love saying that working the traditions working with newcomers being of service doing that stuff it's like all of the diseases asleep now I'm telling you every area of your life can be shot I need a job my relationship oh man financial instability Man, I talked to this guy on Skid Row He don't even got shoes Wow I remember I was talking I was in a meeting and I was sitting in the back And there was this guy talking And he was talking about You know This program's been put to me But I got a bed And I really want somebody To share it with He was really whining about not having a relationship And these two homeless guys That were sitting in the back Right in front of me He's got a bed And it was funny The other guy said he wants to share God I started laughing This guy thought I was laughing at him Because when you're homeless You don't think nothing about crawling It's cold Can we spoon And I could, how it is No matter what, no matter what I'm going through man All I got to do is walk into a room of alcohol All I gotta do is call up a newcomer And it's like all of a sudden Wait a minute man I'm sober I've got a job I got a place to live Oh, I got keys? And keys are very, very dear to me. You know, when you do about 11 years of the penchantry, you miss keys. You just miss keys, and you just... So as long as I can put my hand in my pocket and like feel keys must be all right it's a very very simple thing and they told me keep it simple i thank god that my first sponsor a guy named frank russo frank ruso frank russeau and i say that because he told me never to mention his name you know he sponsored me for a little while now me and this guy went to prison together We were like buddies, and we were pals on the streets. And then he got out, and he got, like, famous in AA, you know. God, I thought he was going to be the president or something. And this guy used to look at me and say, Danny, listen, listen. Because he knew me, do you understand? He said, don't worry about powerless. Don't worry About unmanageability. Just wake up in the morning, look yourself in the mirror and say, brain broke. That's it. That's all you've got to do. That's hard. Just realize that. I still do that. Brain broke. And there's a lot of people in Alcoholics Anonymous, well, you're not willing to accept responsibility. You're absolutely right. You're Absolutely Right. I'm not. I am the most irresponsible person on the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I take great pride in that. I don't write anything down, nothing, nothing. Somebody calls me to speak, I say, okay, but you better call me five times because otherwise I'm not going to make it. Well, do you have a calendar? No. Well, uh, okay. I call me about 12 times. and call me today. Oh yeah, I got you. My daughter drove up. You know, my daughter, she's going to have 60 days. She drove me up. You know. And great ride up PCA. Slow down, watch out. She drives better than I do. Because I'm not I'm like a good driver Yeah, I'm a great driver I'm mad Oh yeah Alright, I am going to kill you Alright, i am going To kill you Hey, i'm going to Kill you Okay, I got it. Oh! God put me in a position to where my job, if they want me, they send a car. You know? You have a 6 a.m. call. Okay. I've gone to work in pajamas. Because they're going to dress me when I get there anyway. You know what, I honestly, and I used to, I think I used to be responsible. No, I didn't. I remember my second sponsor, a guy named Sam Hardy. Sam, because when I first got here, I was having a lot of trouble in Alcoholics Anonymous. I wasn't doing good. Fresh out of the penitentiary, I just finished doing five years. I thought I was violent. You know, I thought I was angry. But Sam used to have this thing when I would be talking and I would say, Here, I'm very violent. He would stand up and go, Scaredy cat. And then sit back down. And I got really angry. Scaredly cat. You know what I mean? See? See? I'm not scared. Well, then why are you carrying a pistol? Uh, in case somebody attacks me. Besides that being a parole violation, why do you carry a knife? I mean, it's certainly not to, like, protect myself from bears. You know what I mean? I started showing up at meetings with no weapons just like wow hi I'm Bill people were so funny hi I am Bob yeah well Bob up and down on this and get away from me I wasn't like friendly do you understand I wasn'nt friendly I wasn''t a nice guy you don't come out of prison being a pleasant person you know and I was really angry these guys used to just this is one guy a guy named Hank Magdaleno passed away and I learned to love this man he was one of those guys that would not let you not say hi you know what I mean I first met him and I didn't like him I didn'y like him my sponsor Frank It's Hank, Hank. Yeah, well, Hank on this. Get away from me, man. And he said, okay, hey, you keep coming back because we need you. And I'd go to another meeting and I'd walk in and, hey Danny, what's up? There, yeah. I don't know this guy. You know what I mean? He wants to be my buddy. I'd go to another meeting and I'd sneak in and I hear this psst psst nothing I swear to God I mean it's like weird I go to a meeting I go into another meeting hey Dan it's me Hank how you doing come here my brother come here why don't you screw off Holmes leave me alone everywhere I go the first time I walked into a meeting and I saw Hank and he didn't see me automatically Hank you going to say hi? no he tricked me I got so used to hearing him say hi that you know the first night yeah and and me and he became really really dear to me I mean really dear and You know, I was having a lot of trouble in these meetings. Man, I didn't like people. I didn' t like hugs and everyone getting near me. You can' t be a touchy-feely person in prison. You can, yeah. And AA people are touchy feely. You know they're like, hey, how are you? Hey! And I tell Sam, you know what man, I'm sick of this. man these people they disrespect me how they disrespect you they look at me too long when I'm holding him and he says Sam was always had that shit on well Danny Hey, one of the reasons you have a lot of trouble is you're not a nice person. And your problem, Danny, is double because you're only not a not a nice person, you don't even look like a nice person. Could you sugarcoat that a little bit What you got to do is you got to start doing things for other people and not expect any kind of re-waward. And he said it like a hillbilly, re-woward. I could have forgot it if he said reward. But how in the hell are you going to forget re-oward? and doing nice things for people sometimes when you look like me, it's tough I can remember I was in Reseda Park and this lady she had two dogs an adobe and a boxer and the boxer got away and it was right here and the leash was right there and I'm standing there with no shirt with no shirt and I'm saying hey jackal you want me to get your dog I don't know how that lady did it but she picked up that boxer ran by me grabbed the dopey and jumped in her car bitch and I went and told Sam I said Sam yeah try to get her dog and I knew he was going to say, well, damn it. You know, there's some women that do not like men's help. You know? I thought he looked at me and said, Well, look at you. You look like a damn maniac. I wouldn't want you touching my dogs either. Y'all covered with them cartoons. Now, you're going to have to start doing things for other people and not even let them know. And to me, that sounds like stupid. I'm sorry. That means there ain't no chance of getting a tip out of that sucker. They're going to be running around saying, well, who did that? Who did that, you know? And I'm standing out in front of my mom's in Pacoima. And, like, you Know, I'm staring at her like an idiot now. And you've got to remember, my first three years, I used to stand out in my front yard with a double jigger, You know, the two-shot glass. And I'd have one ice cube in it and Coke soda. Just so any of the guys that I knew, if they passed by, they'd just think I was drinking. Soda. And I see this old lady trying to pull out this trash can, this big old trash can. And this is in the 70s, you know, this is not when they had the big rolly, greeny, blue and black. It's a big old trash can. So I went over there to help her, you knows, just to pull. And the first time I remember, no me robas, don't rob me, shut up! Throw this trash all over your yard. And I put out her trash can, and then I, I remember there was about five or six old people. God, I hate to say that because they were 60 and I'm 60. they were 140 they were like 60 and I went and I just started putting out even the bruja the witch we had a witch lady in our neighborhood she could never come out because witches can't come out during the day but but I'd always see her at the window I'd put out her trash And, you know, that's what I did. That's all I did, I just went around. It was like, we had a route, I guess, I don't know, about five people. And the first sport coat I ever got was, my mom says, Mijo, you knew that old man down the street, the older he was, this cripple? He brought you a beautiful suede, like blazer, gorgeous tan. Because the only thing, I've never had a sport coat in my life other than like a joint dress out. You know, like when you get out, they always give you like a please don't rain on me suit and shit. And I would get these little gifts. And even that witch lady, she'd like always put like lemonade and cookies and stuff. My friends are like, don't eat them, you'll be a cat. Shut up. Take a bite. I didn't believe it, but I always make them take a bite first. And everything good that has ever happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else. Everything. That's the God's honest truth. Me and a guy that some of you know, a guy named Danny Levitar, we started a gardening business. And we used to like go and it was funny. We didn't have a lawnmower. We'd got to go knock on people's door and say, hey, do you want us to mow your lawn? We'll do this, do this for 20 bucks or 10 bucks. I don't even. Yeah. Okay. Do you have a long more? They go, yeah. And if they had a lawnmower, then we'd go like next door. Do you want to mow your lawn? We've got a lawn mower. And we started, we mowed lawns. So we did a good living. And we would always go. There was a couple of old people that would always just go and mow their lawn. And like the witch lady was one of them. We'd mow her lawn. And just, you know, for free because that's what you're supposed to do. And one day this guy comes up. I'll never forget this big old dude. This guy, you know one of them, oh God. One of those old guys that used to be tough a long time ago then. About 60. This guy comes over and the first words out of his mouth are, hey, poncho. that's ten bucks right there whatever he wants how much are you charging this old lady we're doing it for free she's crazy and she's a witch well come on over I want you to do my art we go over to this guy's yard and it's funny because he says bring Pablo there Danny Levitop the furthest thing from Pablo and we go over to this guy's yard and I already got it for 20 bucks for the poncho and the Pablo pay out his ass and he starts I ought to do this break a sprinkler you'll fix it and then we go to his garage and he says opens up the garage this guy got like two lawn mowers like a real edger not one of them damn little wheels I don't know if any do they still have those like a little star wheel you hit a rock and he almost goes he had one like and wheel barrels and shovels alright now I want you to do my yard do it for free and have that stuff Do you want me to come over and, like, wash your back too? And he says, what is your name? I said, Poncho's cool. It's all right. Shit. How about, yeah, Pablo is all right, you know. And we actually had a gardening business. I mean, we had such a mini-tool. We actually bought a truck because I had a 65 Mustang. And that's what we were running around in. and we'd get all the bags and we put them in the trunk and take them to like Vaughn's. Safeway. All the places I used to rob. I don't know. And it was like, like we had so much equipment. We bought a truck. We bought our truck and a van. And we actually had like a real business. We even got shirts with a little guy. green and uh and uh and we were doing pretty good and everything good that has ever happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else in 1985 i spoke at a cocaine's anonymous meeting and um i didn't like it you got to remember 1985 cocaine's synonymous was just kind of Like, getting started. That's when all the, like, therapists and stuff were, like. Still coming. You know, the. Oh. Oh, we might do a little rehab here. You know. Those guys. Oh. I see Betty Ford in my future. You know those guys. Crack had it with me. They hadn't started rocking that shit up yet. You know what I'm saying? I walk into this meeting. And it was. God. was like unbelievable me and it was like pretty people you know I'm I want to see some sucked up human for those guys tell them like doctors and it looked like a gold come everybody had gold you know just everybody saw this golden gotta shut up give me your money I know I don't left it all outside but I I just got that obsession. And I wouldn't have stole it. And after the meeting, this kid comes up to me, man. This kid's about 18 years old. And he comes up and says, boy, I really identified with you, Danny. And I'm talking about Folsom, San Quentin, Soledad, every prison. And I look at him. This kid didn't have like a feather on him, you know. He couldn't have been from a neighborhood near my neighborhood. and if he would have been in any jail with me we'd have changed his name from now on your name is Katrina but he identified with me I remember talking about the bottom I really hit the bottom and he's got a one of those Rolex imperial, the good one, you know, the one that goes like that. Not that one. The one that's the real one. It's about $3,000 on it. Damn! And I you know my mind, that one three quarters of it, it's like just thinks, I'll take this kid outside and take that watch. I'll show him the body. I gave him my phone number and this kid thought, I got eight days, and my dad gave me my car back. And I'm living at the house now. I'm doing good. A hundred days later, at 11 o'clock at night, this kid calls me. And it fooled me because the call started out with a I feel like getting loaded. I feel like, since 1969, nobody has ever called me and said they feel like getting loaded. I get those calls. And homes. I got loaded or I give them calls at like quarter to two in the morning. I couldn't believe it somebody actually called from 1969 this was 1985 somebody said I feel like getting loaded you mean you're not? no, but there's a lot of blow there's alot going on in my job and I Johnny Carson was getting ready to come on and that lady with the bugs was going to be on and I said well come on over he said I can't Danny I'm working can you come down and he said it you know with that desperation the one the desperation that we all know when we really said you know please man you know not that we weren't the fingers crossed nothing it was like when you were sit I'm done And he said, please, can you come down? And I want so bad to say, I've said, certainly. I'm thinking who to call, because I sponsor a lot of people. I'll send one of them if they have to. Why me? But then I remember all the people that did for me. I said, where are you at? And I got the address. He was downtown, working downtown by Olvera Street. He said in a big warehouse. So I thought, oh, cool. So I though, you know, the typical, you're going to sit there until break and then he's going to come out and you're gonna sit in the car and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes, then breaks over. He goes back. Everybody thinks you're gay. And it wasn't. I walked on to a movie set of a movie called Runaway Train. And John Boyd and Eric, I don't know these guys. I'm like, wow, this is like so cool. It was like fun. I've been watching all these guys, they were all dressed like convicts. All these guys from Brentwood and Westwood and Bel Air. They're all like dressed in the prison blues and fake tattoos. And I kept going, oh, I'm sorry. And they all kept coming up to me saying, hey, do I look hard? I'd go, yeah, you'd be somebody's wife in prison. This guy comes up and says, do you want to be in this movie? What do I got to do? Do you want me to be an extra? I said, an extra what? I've never been on a movie set in my life. And he says, can you act like a convict? It's almost like a joke. I swear to God, I was expecting some TV host guy to say, hey, we got you. And I look at him and I said, I'll give it a shot. And they give me them blue state pants. And I'm not bragging. And I'm sorry, but those blue state pants just look good on me. They do. Doesn't matter what size. They just look great on me, don't they? They look good. The way they're cut just seems to drop just perfect, you know. And then he gives me that shirt, so I take off my shirt. When I took off my skirt, he sees this big old tattoo. This guy goes... I'm looking at him saying, now what stupid neighborhood is that? this punk better not be signing me I'll slap the shit out of him like splashing me a sign this other guy comes over and says hey you're Danny Trejo he says Danny I saw you in the lightweight and the welterweight title up in San Quentin I said you're Eddie Bunker he says yeah I said man what are you doing here Danny I said I'm hanging out with this kid he wants to stay clean and they're gonna she said do you want a job I said I got one they're going to give me 50 bucks for acting like a convict he said no no no a real job we got can you train one of the actors how to box what's it pay he says 320 a day I said, how bad do you want this guy beat up? No, no, no. No, I figured, come on, 320 bucks? I figured I'd beat him up, I'd write about it, and I'd go tell Sam I was expecting a reward. I said no,no,no Dan, you've got to be careful. This actor's really high strung. He might sock, he's already socked the coach. For $320, give him a stick! Man, are you crazy? Shit. I've been beat up for free. I started training an actor named Eric Roberts how to box. And Eric kind of liked me and we got along good. And the director saw that and all of a sudden this director comes up and says, You'll be in movie. And what's that? What's that mean? Shh. Shut up. I know it. And they're signing some stuff, and they were mad because I wasn't SAG. And the director said, you make that SAG! And walked away. He's a Russian, a Russian named Andrei Kajalovsky. Make him SAG, and walks away. From that day, everybody started calling me Mr. That's all I know. Mr. Trejo, would you like some coffee? Yeah. Two cups, cream and sugar, and some Pilates, some little biscuits. Get some of those. Anything to do with it. I could say, it was so weird. I could see stuff like, do we have any like apple, cranberry, something like that? Wow! That was cool. I was joking, you know. Since that day, since that day I've done over 123 movies Since that date I've worked with some of the biggest actors there is And the amazing part is that They want to work with me again See? Because of the stuff I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous What does Alcoholics Anonymous show us? How to be courteous, kind, sharing, caring. That's what it shows us. Okay, it's got to teach me how to be a better person. That'swhatitdoes. See? I've got to do stuff for other people and not expect any kind of reward. And it's so funny because people always ask me, Danny, there's a lot of drugs. Does that bother you? Oh, sure, because I want to die going to jail, you idiot. Are you kidding them? Some of the big actors, I love to catch them. Like coming out of the bathroom going... Oh God, I Love it. Oh God. Hey, did you do coke? They can't beat me up. I don't give a shit. You kidding? And then just follow them. No, how is it? Is it okay? Well, I'm not. This program will work in spite of us. Do you understand? This program won't only save our lives, it'll save our kids' lives. It'll save my son's life. It'll help save our family's lives. My son was running around going crazy. Do you know what I'm saying? He was just doing every drug known to mankind. And his sister was following him. He was like 15, she was like 14. And like, you know, I'm dying. I'm talking to 500 kids at a time in schools and mine are dying. I'm, I, I am dying. Do you see that? and I remember I'm trying to get Gilbert let's go to meetings he's like 40 pounds or something he looked like Jack from The Nightmare Before Christmas you know and I'm God what did I do and it's amazing because because I got mad at him one day. You know, I got bad at him and I grabbed him, you know, and I said, and you know what? I heard my dad. You know what I mean? I heard them coming out of me and I knew that didn't work, you know What I mean, because right after that I was in the penitentiary. So I was like, I let him go and I walked away. I said Gilbert, I love you man. I just hope you're okay. And I'm talking to these kids, and I walked off the stage. I couldn't talk. And my friend, Chief Puss, who's in the program, found Christ and ex-Mexican Mafia. And he said, what are you doing? I said, I can't do it. I said they might find my son behind the 7-Eleven dumpster right now, man. And I am sitting here trying to act like I know how to help kids. He says, hey, oh, now we're playing God, huh? He says all you got to do is God's work, man, and leave his work to him. You know, it's like that's what you're supposed to be doing. I finished talking, and then I went to a meeting. I went through a meeting, and I sat there, and somebody called on me, and I just said something and then sat down, and this kid comes up to me right afterwards. This kid comes over. and this kid had like four earrings in each ear had his eye pierced had his nose pierced had a piercing right here with a little knife hanging down had his tongue pierced had both chichis pierced and he says hey will you be my sponsor and my thought was I'll turn this little sucker into a Republican no, I could just see this kid in like a suit yeah, I'll be your sponsor I started taking this kid Johnny to meetings and every day I'm asking my kid come on Gilbert all you guys be to the joy they always make fun of us one day me and Johnny stopped at the house because I think we were coming up to Santa Barbara to talk at a court and Gilbert was probably just getting up about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I go shower him and Johnny start talking Gilbert comes up and says Dad, can I go to meet you with Johnny? I says yeah he's got a cool truck he had a big truck too damn high this high end and all of a sudden he's going to meetings went to a school called Provo Canyon Utah he's getting ready to graduate he's got a job an apartment started a band they're playing in Riverside right now so I'm blessed my daughter is going on 60 days here pretty soon so I am blessed do you understand The rest of my life is a mess, but I'm blessed to understand I got healthy kids. I got a career that, you know, come on, I was on Desperate Housewives, you know, what the hell? So and I honestly believe if you're a newcomer, please, if you are a newcomer. Take the words, take these two words out of your vocabulary, okay? I know. Take those out of Your vocabulary. Just take them out of You. No, no, I know, no I know I know God. Hey, I know! I know that! Please just don't use the words I know for nothing, see? And if we can do that then all of a sudden we're listening because you got to remember this disease this disease is i know friendly see the minute somebody starts talking you talking to you this disease pushes the i know button see immediately if somebody goes hey do you know me i know see you hear nothing So you take the words I know out. That's all. And life keeps getting better and better and besser and better. Do you understand? And I'm telling you, this journey, I have been all over the world. I've been in meetings all overthe world. Do you understand? I'm still a drug counselor. I still work with newcomers. I still hang out in meetings when I can, but I just hang out in Paris. London. Listen to the people talk funny. Mexico. Last week I was in London, Albuquerque, and Phoenix. And I was thinking like, wow, that's a hell of a trip. I'm going back to London in July. I think I'm taking my daughter and my son with me. And my other boy, my other son lives in Lompoc. He's doing really good. So if you're new, I suggest you go to a lot of meetings. If you're knew, I suggests you go through a lot meetings. if you're new i suggest you go to a lot of meetings and i'm not trying to be funny because actually in the language of the newcomer when you say that their mind is geared to hear So if you're new, go to a lot of meetings. And it promises us good things will come to pass so we can have this life. Remember what I said, the guarantee, the fortune teller. I'll tell you right now, die, go insane or go to jail. If you stay here, if you stay hier, nobody can tell your fortune. All they can say is that your life will get better and better and bette r. See? And you got to do those things they say. You got to be those little things they see. Big deal. It's done right. share that's it help me remove the character defects it's ok you know be of service the thing that I love about alcoholics no matter how smart somebody gets all you can strive to be is chief servant that'sit I'm the best servant A.A.'s got that's it that's all see because we're all here and I kept thinking that this program I couldn't understand see see this this program is God sent you understand this program saves our entire family this program is a new lease on life this program is everything we have ever wanted everything see there's nothing there's none Sky is the limit. See, all I got to do is stay clean, stay sober. God bless you. Thank you very, very much.