The Truth Is True Until a New Truth Is Discovered – Peter M.

About This Speaker Tape

June 23, 1988: a filthy hallway in an abandoned building, urinating blood and weighing 130 pounds. Peter M. was in a free fall with no rungs to grab onto—no money, no career, no one.

After seven treatment centers and a childhood marked by a mother's suicide and sexual abuse, he hit a bottom that acted as an attention getter. He describes himself as a car that leaves an oil spot on the cement: broken and flawed. For Peter, the "truth is true until a new truth is discovered," and he discovered that physical sobriety was merely the start.

He had to starve the "troublemaker" called self to feed the soul. Now 35 years sober, he avoids the "predator" of the mind by staying immersed in a Higher Power. He doesn't seek a boatload of money; he prefers to travel light, chopping wood and carrying water, finding his home in the sacred rooms of AA.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:00 Introduction and welcome to Peter M. at the Broken Elevators anniversary meeting.
• 4:15 Laughter: Peter describes the 'Looney Tunes' nature of AA's financial structure.
• 7:30 Peter discusses the 'layers of the onion' and the need to seek freedom *from* himself rather than *for* himself.
• 12:45 The bottom: Peter recounts lying in an abandoned building hallway in 1988, urinating blood and facing death.
• 18:20 Childhood trauma: Peter shares the pain of his mother's suicide and being sexually molested as a boy.
• 24:10 The 'predator' mind: A detailed story about the ambush of the mind leading to a relapse after a treatment center.
• 31:00 Entering AA: Peter describes the 'circle of wagons' and the early days of being 'carried' to meetings.
• 36:45 Discussion of the Big Book and the 'trains' of emotion and ideas mentioned on page 27.
• 42:10 Sponsorship: Peter credits Mark H. for showing him AA with 'new eyes' and the importance of a home group.
• 48:30 The 'oil spot' metaphor: Peter embraces being broken and flawed rather than seeking perfection.
• 53:15 Grief: Peter reflects on burying his father a few months prior and the ebb and flow of life.
• 55:40 Closing thoughts on relationships, fidelity, and the feeling of being 'overpaid by Higher Power'.