The Truth and the Fact of Step One – Paul F.

About This Speaker Tape

A New York native who spent the sixties 'tuning in and dropping out,' Paul E. describes a decade of crawling through the streets of Manhattan before hitting a wall in 1980. He frames his recovery through a rapid-fire walk through the 12 Steps blending gritty anecdotes of the street with the specific mechanics of the program.

From a sponsor who threatened him with a .357 revolver to the 'gift of desperation,' Paul E. maps out a life split exactly in half: thirty-two years as a 'dirtbag leech taker' and thirty-two years as a giver. He emphasizes the necessity of a total attitude adjustment using the image of a wrestler and his tiny wife to illustrate the shift from ego to humility.

His narrative centers on the concrete reality of abstinence and the surprising coincidences—like meeting a childhood friend from Queens at the exact moment he almost walked out of his first meeting—that anchored his sobriety.

Topics

Timestamps

• 0:45 Paul E. jokes about doing all 12 steps in one hour.
• 2:15 Discussion of the 'tune in, turn on, drop out' era in New York City.
• 5:10 Step 2: The 'light switch' analogy for believing in a Higher Power.
• 7:30 The 'Triptych' metaphor for the role of a sponsor.
• 11:20 Laughter: Story about a sponsor pulling a .357 on him.
• 14:10 The coincidence of meeting a friend from Queens at the St. Francis Mission.
• 20:15 Step 3: The story of Steve's willingness and the towel-wrapped shower scene.
• 23:40 The 'Wrestler' joke about attitude adjustment.
• 27:10 Step 4 and 5: The 'Warner Brothers' autobiography and sharing with Fred T.
• 32:40 Step 9: The failed attempt to 'save' his sister Tina with a letter.
• 37:10 Step 7: The 'Padules' mnemonic for the seven deadly sins.
• 45:20 The 'Max' game: Paul E.'s nightly conversation with a Higher Power.